Random Astrology

Random Astrology is Moving!

2010-02-24T21:34:00.000-08:00

Dear Random Reader,

We're gone!

Random Astrology (June 2010 - Present)

Random Astro Bits & Pieces (Feb 2010 - June 2010)

See you there!

~ Jara

What Type of Glasses Do You Wear to See the World?

2010-02-22T13:57:00.000-08:00

"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." ~ Anais Nin

"Creatures of a very particular making, we need to know the cultural blinders that narrow our world view as well as the psychological blinders that narrow our view of our personal experience." ~ Christina Baldwin

Yesterday, I was watching a panel discuss the 35th anniversary of the publishing of "The Black Book" and had a few epiphanies.

"The Black Book" is a black Bible of sorts, a historical collection of the African-American experience beginning with slavery (this irks me, but that's another blog post for another time) through the present. Because the book reflects the African-American experience, it is weighed down by tales of unbelievable horror as well as uplifted with stories of triumph. That is the full range of our experience in America, and it's also a reflection of America's broader history.

There are five panelists: 4 blacks, 1 (?); 3 women, 2 men; estimated age ranges are 20's to 70's (1 in her 20's, male and female in their 30's, 1 in her 40's and 1 in his 70's).

The five people are: Roscoe Brown, member of the Tuskegee Airmen and president emeritus of Bronx Community College; Ilyasah Shabazz, author, activist, and daughter of Malcolm X and Dr. Betty Shabazz; journalist, author, and cultural critic Toure; and Rebecca Sando, daughter of Ernest Smith, the co-editor of The Black Book.

Ok, now that we have established pieces of their backgrounds (i.e. prisms), let me get to the point...

As I watched the program, I noticed that two of the panelists are working from a "positive" world view, while two of the panelists are working from a "negative" world view. The moderator & editor of the 35th anniversary edition of the book, Porscha Burke, is adequately neutral. Fair & balanced, right?

The first pair of optimistic v. pessimistic is the women panelists. The first quote that resonated with me came from Ilyasah Shabazz: "In my household, you were either an activist or a victim. There were no victims. Just like we drink water, we help someone." I'm not sure of Ilyasah's birth info (and don't feel like looking it up), but she has the regal bearing and cat-like features of a person with Leo rising. This is usually the rising sign of a person who's born into a privileged position within the family. I have read her autobiography and can say with certainty that she has an upbeat attitude towards life. Unfortunately, I didn't even catch any quotes from Rebecca Sando because her droning, whiny voice hurt my ears too much for me to focus on her specifics. The gist of her comments are blacks don't know our history and should and it was hard to get the original book published.

So that leaves optimistic Mr. Roscoe Brown and pessimistic Toure. Mr. Roscoe Brown gleefully describes "The Black Book" as "something that can boost our egos!" Imagine that - a man who has faced blatant racism that's in our history books sees mostly positive in a book about the AA experience. On the other hand, Toure interrupts Mr. Brown to point out that the majority of the book is heartbreaking and his favorite part is a story of police brutality.

This is where I became quite frustrated with what I was seeing and hearing...and it was the catalyst to one of my mini-epiphanies. Every time Mr. Brown tried to cheer himself (and me) up with a happy tale of what our race has accomplished, here comes Toure with a sad tale of how frustrated he is with racism. Why is it that a man who has relatively little to complain about in terms of race is doing most of the complaining? He's eating regularly, not homeless, not living from check to check, has a nice job, a healthy family, etc. (unlike Rebecca Sando who has the opposite life as she described in one of her gloomy comments). I don't know Toure personally, but I'm willing to bet my entire life savings that he has not experienced the level of in-your-face-racism that Mr. Brown has experienced. But here he is...singing that tired "nobody knows the trouble I've seen" song.

Two years ago, I had the pleasure of meeting a Tuskegee Airman at a nursing home in Georgia. His wisdom, positive attitude about his harrowing experiences as a pilot, and enthusiasm to help us campaign for then-presidential candidate Barack Obama inspired me during those times when my body ached and my spirit was low. His stories also put my complaints into proper perspective. I got the same feeling while watching Mr. Brown interact with Toure.

I viewed this program with my mother and a friend. We all agreed that Toure is whiny. As we all nodded and made fun of his whining, I realized that I feel this way quite a bit with people who stubbornly refuse to see any bright side to any situation. The cultural blinder through which I'm viewing the world prevents me from seeing the cup as half-empty 100% of the time.

Both my father and mother are "positive thinkers" who taught me that the world's possibilities are limitless. The implied message I took away from my childhood is that, if I have a problem, then it's probably my fault for not thinking of an adequate solution or working hard enough to exploit life's bountiful offerings. These teachings are clearly reflected in the condition of my ascendant.

Our ascendant (or rising sign) is the pair of glasses that we wear throughout life, which tints our view of objective reality. The different types of views can be generally summarized by using the 4 elements: fire (optimistic, enterprising); earth (practical, materialistic); air (theoretical, abstract); water (emotional; receptive). We were gifted with these life glasses at birth. We inherited a certain type of parents, a birth order, a family culture, an income level, a geographical location, the attitudes and norms that we learn through the process of socialization, and so on. All of these inheritances are represented in our charts by the placement of our ascendant and its relation to the rest of our horoscope.

As I watched this panel discussion, I began to suspect that Mr. Brown's Rising is in a fire sign. Regardless of the topic, he quickly found the upside and he has a beaming smile that hasn't dimmed with age. I also began to suspect that Toure's Rising is a water sign (or modified by water influence). Almost every comment that he makes has an emotional or victim tinge to it. The first story he tells is of how there will never be an end to racism (or his complaining about race? gah!), then of being attacked on Twitter for his beliefs (not exactly the same as the government refusing to let you fight for your country, eh?), then being attacked for having a non-black wife, then not being able to speak about race in his family because of the painful emotions it elicits from his grandmother, then...you get the point.

Someone with an ascendant in a water sign feels their way through life, soaking up all of the emotional undercurrents of each experience and each new atmosphere. This person would get very frustrated with people who don't get the mood or feeling of an experience. They're attracted to people who can commiserate with them and they might go into repeat mode until their emotions are validated.

While a part of me understands where he's coming from, another part of me was saying "Come on! Life isn't that bad! Do you want some cheese with that whine?" The part of me that relates to him is my Sun and Moon in water signs. On some level, I can empathize with his glaring "stuck in the past" way of viewing life. He seems to me to be very much emotionally affected by his childhood. He carries those memories with him like a turtle carries its home on its back. The part of me that's breaking out the violin to play a lively ditty for him is my Sagittarius rising. While I absorb most experiences at a very deep emotional level and retain negative experiences like a pregnant woman holds onto water, my background tells me that I should look for the silver lining in every cloud (Sagittarius is full of upbeat cliches). Therefore, I become very uncomfortable around "downers". It's as if they are breaking some type of universal law by being so pessimistic.

Throughout my life, I have been keenly aware of the contradiction between my inner and outer self. I used to wonder why I worry so much on the inside but inexplicably present a "happy face" to others. My habit causes many people to think that I lead a charmed life (hello Jupiter!) and have infinite words of encouragement for them, even while I'm dealing with multiple problems of my own and don't want to be bothered with their problems.

According to Skye Thomas, our Rising Sign can either reinforce or clash with our inner selves (Sun & Moon signs):

You’ve heard of a wolf in sheep’s clothing? Discard the story behind that image and let’s just imagine a wolf that looks like a sheep. In astrology, we would say that his Sun Sign is that of the Wolf and that his Rising Sign is that of the Sheep. No, Wolf and Sheep are not real zodiac signs. I am just using them to illustrate a point. Astrologically speaking, this is not a case of the wolf trying to deceive us. He simply has been born with sheep’s clothing and that is initially how people see him. It takes a while to get to know him and realize that he actually is a wolf deep down inside. In the same way that the inner yolk is very different from the outer shell, they are both part of what makes up the nature of the egg. Such is the dynamic with Sun Signs and Rising Signs...(snip).

Sometimes knowing someone’s Rising Sign clashes with their Sun Sign helps us to realize that they do not mean to come across as such a confusing contradiction. Not all wolves in sheep’s clothing are intentionally deceitful. Some sheep just have the spirit of a wolf deep down inside of them. - Source

We tend to attract friends, lovers and situations into our lives based on our rising sign. In other words, not only is our view of the world filtered through the lenses of our rising sign, but our life experiences tend to reinforce this view because they are both pre-destined and we actively seek them out. If we encounter evidence that challenges our version of "reality", we can dismiss it either unconsciously (by not "seeing" it) or consciously (by arguing its validity).

Because of my happy-go-lucky demeanor, I tend to attract - and gravitate towards - other positive thinkers (or people who believe they should be positive thinkers). When I see these people (who the universe has chosen to put in my path and I have chosen to accept into my life) take risks and win, that reinforces my view that a.) life is what you make it and b.) nothing ventured, nothing gained. Is this objectively true? Maybe. Maybe not. But objective truth doesn't matter to us much, does it? As the saying goes: "Perception is reality." Most of the time, my rosy-colored glasses block out those times when my loved ones or I don't win our gambles. Or my glasses help me justify the gamble by finding the lesson learned, so "it's really not that bad...at least we're wiser for it!" I also have Neptune, the planet of illusion, in my 1st house of self-identity so I view the world with glasses that always have an extra layer on them. However, I also have squares to my Ascendant from planets and lights in Virgo - the facts-and-figures sign that acts as a cleaning kit for my all-is-beautiful! Sagittarius glasses.

So it's no wonder that my mother, friend and I were all sitting around diminishing Toure's point of view. We all have our risings in compatible signs (air and fire), so there was a bit of groupthink going on. Does this mean that Toure's point of view is any less valid? No. But us positive-thinkers are less likely to be attracted to, and understanding of, his view of the world. It wasn't until he began to tell the story of how race is considered a taboo subject in his household that I began to shift my attitude towards him. In my early childhood experiences, race was a welcome subject in every class at school, for the car ride home from school, at the dinner table and in my prayers at night. Whenever I heard Toure express his views before, I always viewed him as a whiner because...who doesn't know that there are racial problems in this country? How many times are you going to state the obvious, man? Haven't we discussed race enough for three more lifetimes? Apparently, not in his childhood home. So for him, every time that he discusses race, he is venturing outside of his comfort zone and challenging his family's way of handling this complex subject. And, because race was a taboo subject in his home, he's wearing the glasses that tell him race is not talked about enough in any home. Insert his life (or career) purpose: to see and discuss race at almost every turn.

My Sagittarius glasses tell me that it's necessary to always break new ground, to explore and discover uncharted territories. For me, race is old ground. All of the social critics that I have heard since I was a child have already planted their flags all over the place. As I thought through this, it became clearer to me why his glasses annoy me and I want to knock them off of his face.

When I was younger, I used to have 20/20 vision. I was very curious about what my friends with glasses were seeing, so I would always try them on (despite many warnings from wiser adults!). I still remember how blurry objects became with one pair, how magnified objects became with another. Even though I was curious about their point of view, I didn't like to wear their glasses for very long. Several minutes in their glasses was quite long enough for me to understand where they were coming from. It's very disconcerting to view the world with someone else's prescription glasses. I still remember that feeling of relief when I took their glasses off and the world became "right" again.

Ironically, at 16 years old, I developed astigmatism that caused near-sightedness. The astigmatism runs in my maternal side of the family. People with less optimistic rising signs may look at this as bad karma for not heeding earlier warnings. However, I viewed it as the opportunity to look "smarter" and fend off people who don't find intelligence attractive. A win-win says my Venus in Gemini! I would wear my glasses when I didn't need them (e.g. while reading in the library) and not wear them when I probably should have (e.g. to recognize someone from afar that I wanted to avoid).

The funny thing about my family's type of astigmatism is that our vision transforms from the ages of 16 - 25, then it returns to what it was in our childhood. I'm sure there's a metaphor in there somewhere...

Sagittarius rising with Neptune in the 1st house goggles.

Welcome to my world.

Leo rising mirror.

Most of my friends have Leo risings. Pretty obvious why we're compatible, right? lol

What type of glasses do you wear to see the world?

Related posts:
Blacks v. Whites = Pisces v. Gemini

Purchase or preview "The Black Book".

New to astrology? Find out your ascendant with an interpretation.

On Hiatus...or Twiatus

2010-02-18T18:36:00.000-08:00

An Astro Exercise: As you read this, try to figure out what sign(s) my Moon and Mercury is in (if you don't already know).

I'm taking a break from "social networking".

More specifically, I'm taking a break from networking with random people on Twitter. For free. For the purposes of entertainment or curiosity. (In other words, I'm still doing it when there's a check involved.)

Normally, I keep my online social networking un-networked and very compartmentalized. Facebook is for friends and family to stay connected. Twitter is for strangers - preferably friendly strangers...

But that's not always the case, now is it?

Last May, I created a Twitter account to maximize the time I devote to catching up on the goings-on of the world. I discovered that I could search for anything and I'll get an entire stream of news on anything. A news junkie's paradise, right?

Or so I thought.

A friend encouraged me for months to join Twitter, but I wasn't convinced. That is...until we watched the White House Correspondent's Dinner on C-Span and I saw tweets scrolling across the bottom of the screen. The narcissist in my head whispered that she had some thoughts to share, too. Wouldn't you like to see your thoughts on there, too?! Yes, yes I would. So I created an account, typed in some random thoughts to see them stream across C-Span. I couldn't see them, so I began typing in more for testing purposes.

We figured out that if we click on #nerdprom, we could see the White House Correspondent Dinner tweets and I might see mine.

I read and laughed and typed.

Then I saw this number to my right.

Me: What are followers?

Friend: I don't know.

Me: The number keeps going up.

Within 30 minutes, I was at 65 before I finally figured out that these were people who "subscribed" to reading what I typed.

After the #WHCD was over, I didn't have much else to write. My Twitter purpose was fulfilled.

But then I saw #unfollowdiddy.

Anyone who knows me well knows how I feel about Diddy. I had years of bitterness stored up about some of my favorite artists getting a raw deal from this ~~career-killer~~ ~~soul-snatcher~~ "businessman".

So I had a lot of #unfollowdiddy material in me...

Then I learned how to reply to people who wrote to me.

And just like that, Twitter became an episode of the Twilight Zone where a wish fulfilled turns into a nightmare. The more I read, the more I thought. The more I thought, the more I commented. The more I commented, the more people paid attention and replied. I couldn't hide away as just a reader while on "stage".

Twitter began to feel like my public online diary - a place to deposit my thoughts in bitesize form to remind me of certain events in my life.

I didn't expect complete strangers to care about what I thought. But they did.

They told me to put up a picture so I wouldn't be mistaken as a "bot".

I didn't plan to be on Twitter for long, so I asked my friend what picture to use. Her suggestion? "Use mine!"

She's a sociology grad student who was studying the effects of social media on American pop culture and business. I love sociology, so I was game.

As weeks went by, I actually found myself enjoying the people that I conversed with on Twitter. After my friend's research was done, I decided to become a permanent presence and changed my picture to reflect me. Some ~~shallow people~~ felt betrayed. Most didn't. I never said the picture was of me so *shrug*. I'm a strong proponent of letting people believe what they want to believe when it's not an important subject matter to me.

Anyyyyway...That was 8 months and 30k+ thousand tweets ago.

Since May '09, I've had some wonderful and enlightening conversations, "met" some great people, beefed with some and caught a few headaches.

But now...it's time for a break (and here's why). At least for awhile.

As with any break up, I like to leave on a good note ~~to prevent Bag Lady Syndrome~~ by reviewing the positives.

Thanks to Twitter, I got over my fear of sharing some of my inner truths with others, of speaking (well, writing) my mind before shit hits the fan. Fellow tweeters congratulated, reinforced and challenged my views. All of this allowed me to see other perspectives - something I get in abundance in "real life" by necessity (work) or from family and friends who enjoy playing the devil's advocate. However, in all of these offline circumstances, there's a line that none of us cross...because we want to maintain our relationships.

But with strangers, there's no line. Or maybe the line is invisible.

Through Twitter, I was able to see how far I would go with people who I violently disagree with and see how far they would go with me. As my mom likes to say, I'm a "show me" person. I'm not satisfied with just "knowing" something. I want to KNOW it. The only way to KNOW something is to test my hypotheses. And then I form theories based on the results of my experiments. The experiment can last for 10 seconds or a few weeks. But at the end of the day, I learned something that I will remember and apply going forward.

Twitter also encouraged me to restart blogging. I've been a writer for as long as I can remember. I began writing in my first journal at 8 years old. To others, I was a happy child who had many friends, performed well in school, was in many extracurricular activities. But my journal was my real best friend. The one who kept all of my secrets and never judged me - even when I judged myself. And I could count on it repeating back to me what I was feeling verbatim - an archive of my feelings, thoughts, life moments! My journal is my friend that just listens to me, without needing me to first listen for hours at a time, without expecting me to come up with the right encouraging words to make it feel better. All it wanted in return for its friendship is to be used and cherished. Done and done!

It was my first - and only - truly reciprocal and balanced relationship.

Just the thought of anyone reading my thoughts was enough to send shivers down my back. Oh, you should have seen the security system I rigged up to make sure that never happened!

So I thank Twitter for providing me with a place online to share my thoughts - though not exactly a safe place, it is one full of immediate feedback ~~from random psychos~~.

But I'll be going back to my old way of getting soundbite news.

In the meanwhile, I'll continue to share my random thoughts about life here and on my other blog.

Random Readers, if you're interested in reading and sharing your thoughts, too, then that's great.

If you want to keep in touch with me, let me know in the comments section and I'll give you my contact info.

But even if you don't want to read my thoughts or contact me, I'll still be here - writing until the world makes sense to me.

Astro Exercise: My Moon is in Scorpio. My Mercury is in Leo. Did you guess correctly? What clues gave it away? If you also have Mercury in Leo, check out how to use it to your advantage.

Astro Note: PDiddy is a Scorpio with Leo rising. I wonder why he irks me so...? :-P

BONUS:

Want to publish your first 3200 tweets or keep them as a souvenir? Click here.

Astrology Is More Than Just Your Zodiac Sign (And It's NOT a Religion)

2010-02-17T19:21:00.000-08:00

When I first started learning about astrology, I was on a mission to better understand myself. Scratch that. I understood myself pretty well. I was on a mission to understand why I do what I do and feel how I feel.

Astrology wasn't the beginning of my road to self-discovery but it sure was the most enlightening lamppost along the way.

I always find it strange when people say they don't "believe" in astrology - as if it's a religion or a philosophy. Just like I find it strange when people say they don't "believe" in psychology. Just like I find it strange when people say they don't "believe" in evolution or some other scientific discovery. Frankly, not "believing" in something doesn't make the something invalid or untrue. It just means that the knowledge base (or belief system) that you're working with does not include, or conflicts with, what you don't "believe" in.

To me, not "believing" in astrology, psychology or science is the same as not "believing" that 2 + 2 = 4. Maybe the non-believer doesn't know how to count. Maybe the non-believer doesn't know what 2, 4, + or = means. If there's no meaning, then there's no understanding. Without understanding, there's no faith in the meaning. Belief is a tricky, circular bastard.

What made you travel down this line of thought?

Out of curiosity, I was looking up interpretations for a friend's baby on a site that specializes in baby interpretations. The site is one of the first ones that I discovered way back when...so I decided to re-read some interpretations to compare them to my own interpretations of certain placements and came across a familiar one:

Saturn in the ninth house of higher education, philosophy, religion and travel denotes a stable and practical philosophy of life. The placement explains the chief reason that you are probably not one who can easily accept concepts such as astrology. You are highly orthodox in religion, education, and business. You hold to both the letter and spirit of the law. You are very exacting and focused, possessing very strong administrative skills, especially in the fields of religion, education, publishing, or the law. You are likely to be politically conservative. - Source

The 9th house is the area of our horoscopes that describe our beliefs, conclusions and reflections on our experiences of the world. This is my Saturn placement - and parts of the interpretation could not be further from the truth even if it tried harder. Obviously, I'm very taken with astrology. I'm not at all religious, let alone do I hold any "orthodox" religious views. While I do love the law, I'm very much a gray-area type of person when it comes to interpreting and applying the law. As a matter of fact, I get rather frustrated with people who hold on to the letter of the law while disregarding the spirit of the law (see "Les Miserables"). I have a very generous respect for tradition and institutions such as universities, government, marriage, etc., but I also constantly question their purpose or practical usefulness in my life and the lives of others.

Which leads me to my advice to people who are just starting out in astrology: Read "cookbook" interpretations of placements and aspects with extreme caution. Remember that these are general descriptions that don't take into account the rest of a person's birth chart.

Using the above example:

In general, Saturn in the 9th house does indicate a person who fits the above description. However, this description becomes less applicable after taking the rest of the chart into consideration: an active 8th house; the ruler of the 9th house in the 8th house; a heavily-aspected Uranus; Uranus and Saturn co-ruling the 3rd house of communication and thought processing; the rulers of the 3rd house are in the 12th and 9th houses...and more. The 8th house is associated with interests in metaphysics, depth psychology and investigation. An "8th house person" is highly likely to want to understand the motives of people and isn't afraid to dig deep for the answers. Uranus is the rebel planet and is more than willing to follow an unorthodox path. Uranus wants to rock (and maybe even tip over) the boat that traditional Saturn painstakingly built to float upright. Also, Uranus rules astrology.

With these extra chart tidbits, it should become clearer (and easier to "guess") that this particular Saturn-in-9th-house person actually welcomes astrology and naturally questions/challenges the status quo rather than follows a predictable mental route or conventional life philosophy.

Knowing all of these extras is important because the details modify the bigger picture. The more details we have, the more personalized the description gets. (By the way, that belief is reflective of a 9th house Saturn in Virgo in a Jupiter-ruled chart.)

In other words, you are not just your Sun (zodiac/star) sign!!! And you are not just your Moon in ___ , Mercury in ____ , etc. (I now understand why so many advanced astrologers want to tear their hair out at pop culture's over-emphasis on Sun signs when referring to astrology. But I guess everyone's gotta start somewhere. I view Sun sign astrology as the gateway stereotype. lol)

Wrapping up... Before "disbelieving" or writing astrology off because it doesn't seem to accurately describe you, someone or something, ask the following questions:

1.) Who is interpreting?

2.) How much specific information does the interpreter have?

3.) How much of the interpretation is based on theory v. real world application/experience?

4.) What types of biases are coloring the interpretation?

Now that that's out of the way, hey baby...

BONUS:
The Meaning of Astrology - Cosmic Counsel from a non-astrological perspective
Gotta Have Faith: The Story Of A Tested 9th House
Saturn in Virgo Journey to a Complaint-Free World

The Moon & Nurturing: Balancing Motherhood With Life

2010-02-17T16:20:00.000-08:00

Lately, I've been catching up with some friends who have children under 2 years old. Last night, they were discussing the joys and pains of motherhood. Having no children, I mostly listened and took mental reference notes.

Friend 1 is sad about not having enough time to spend with her child because of work. She's worried about her ability to be a good mom.

Friend 2 loves work and feels guilty for not spending more time with her child, then rebellious about how "society's expectations" makes her feel guilty for preferring to be at work.

Friend 3 is a stay-at-home mom / part-time student who wants to spend all of her time with her two children, but is upset that people see her as unambitious for wanting to be a full-time mother.

We know that the Moon represents, among other things, the type of nurturing we received as children and our ability to nurture ourselves and the people in our lives.

When I took a closer look at their charts, I noticed that most of my friends who were expressing doubts, frustrations, etc. have some type of Moon-Saturn and/or Moon-Uranus connection.

Seems to me that Moon-Saturn aspects manifests as a feeling of having to sacrifice pieces of oneself for children or to live according to social, cultural or familial obligations. Moon-Uranus aspects describe a yearning for freedom and/or resisting the routine that raising a child in a "healthy" environment requires.

Of course, there are ways to resolve these tensions.

The Moon-Saturn mother can learn to honor her own wishes despite what others think of her. Or she can find a way to carve out an identity that is separate from her role as a mother by discovering her personal ambitions. If she so chooses, she can then blend those personal ambitions with her mother role (though without becoming a stage mother or a smotherer!).

The Moon-Uranus mother can learn to carve out some alone-time in her day to pursue her independent interests, which may prevent the "sucked in", overwhelmed or restricted feeling that comes from having someone depend on her for survival. Perhaps the Moon-Uranus mother's children are independent enough to value a mother who gives them a long leash or has a Mary Poppins-like idea of childrearing.

Yep, I'm taking very good notes because I also have one of these aspects, which I "inherited" from my mom, grandmother, great-grandmother and...so on.

Related posts:
New Rule: Don't Raise An Other People's Kid

New to astrology? Find out what sign your Moon is in and how it describes your nurturing nature.

It's My Moon Party & I'll Cry If I Want To...

2010-02-13T02:43:00.000-08:00

I usually try to update my resume every now and then just in case I get an urge to upgrade my life (yes, I suffer from acute Greener Pastures Syndrome). I don't want to be caught slipping and let a good opportunity pass me by while I'm performing major cosmetic surgery on my resume.

So it's that time again. I have my eye on a new position that I'm abundantly qualified for and it's my life's passion. Two pluses, right?

After cleaning up my resume, I emailed it to my mom - aka Ms. Resume Doctor - for her objective opinion. She called me a short while later and...let's just say that she did not follow the compliment-criticize-compliment rule. She immediately went in for the kill without any preamble, warm-up or warning. As she rattled off the things that she would fix, I asked her to pause so I could start writing them down. Once I had pen and paper in my hand, she decided to change tactics and condense her...suggestions. Perhaps her Moon in Pisces antennae finally picked up on my lack of participation in the conversation. She then backtracked and pointed out the parts that she liked. But all I was hearing was the first 10 minutes of our conversation.

Note to critics who aren't trying to destroy their interpersonal relationships: NEVER start out with the criticism first. Ironically, she is the one who taught me this golden rule of dishing out constructive criticism that you actually want someone to absorb in a positive way, rather than sticking their head in the nearest oven.

After we hung up, I found a quiet spot where I could be alone and immediately started crying. Even though I knew the source of my tears, they still shocked the juice out of me. One minute I was taking it all in as if she was talking about someone else (hey Gemini-ruled 7th house of Other) and then...I don't usually spontaneously cry like this over criticism, especially not when I'm braced to receive the criticism.

Crying times call for desperate measures, though. So I did something else I rarely do - checked out the transits to my natal chart.

Here's what I found:

Challenging/Conflict

Helpful/Flowing

Transit Sun, Moon, Mercury & Chiron in Aquarius squaring natal 12H Moon in Scorpio
Transit Mercury in Aquarius opposed natal 8H Mercury in Leo
Transit Mars in Leo conjunct natal 8H Mercury & Jupiter in Leo
Transit Mars in Leo sextile natal 6/7H Mars in Gemini
Transit Venus, Jupiter in Pisces trine natal 8H Sun in Cancer & 7H Venus in Gemini

Transit Venus, Jupiter in Pisces opposing natal 9H Saturn in Virgo

Transit Venus, Jupiter in Pisces squaring natal Asc in Sagittarius

Transit Moon, Mercury, Mars & Saturn softly aspecting Asc in Sagittarius

We can easily plug her into these aspect patterns above, right?

This is a clear case of me seeking external opinions (Venus, Sun, Mercury & Jupiter in 7/8H) from a credible, yet critical expert (Saturn in Virgo 9H), unrealistically expecting praise or soft criticism (Mercury in Leo) but meeting up against my mom's emotionally-detached, yet personal opposition of my ideas (shots fired from transit Aquarius and Leo @ natal Leo & Scorpio).

I'm feeling like the way I'm presenting myself (Asc) was attacked...in a deceptively soft way (Venus and Jupiter squaring Asc in Sagittarius). It took me at least 5 minutes to realize I had been wounded (transit Chiron in Aquarius tightly squaring natal Moon in Scorpio). Woman down! It doesn't help matters that transit Neptune is in my 3rd house of communication and natal Neptune is in my 1st house of identity. While my resume was being picked apart, I did some of my most creative doodling to date.

Almost all of these transit planets/stars mentioned above - Sun, Moon, Venus, Jupiter, Chiron, Neptune - are moving through my 3rd house. With Virgo and Sagittarius in the pattern, the criticism is useful and enthusiastically given, but it's all doled out in a very matter of fact, blunt way.

Which proved to be too, too much for me. As we can see, my Moon, Mercury and Mars are getting attacked from many different angles in the Battle of the Fixed Signs.

Meanwhile, transit Uranus is in my 4th house of MOTHER, emotional security and roots. Transit Uranus in Pisces is tightly trine my natal 12th Moon-Uranus in Scorpio, reinforcing my feeling that she electrocuted my subconscious which caused this flow of emotion. Right now, I'm feeling particularly sensitive and fearful of trying out a different path...

Queue me crying and feeling confused about why this banal exchange is resulting in my tears.

Just three short hours ago, I was laughing my ass off at a comedy show with wickedly politically incorrect humor (transit Aquarius softly aspecting natal Sagittarius) and now I'm crying???

I quickly invited me to a pity party and allowed myself a good "whyyyy meeee?" cry for about 5-10 minutes because you know this incident blossomed into a full-fledged "no one understands me!" breakdown. After feeling sorry for myself a couple more minutes, I figured that it would be more productive to examine why I'm feeling so attacked and sensitive...and then write my feelings away (Venus & Jupiter in Pisces trine Sun in Cancer & Venus in Gemini).

Taking a look at my chart and writing this post has sufficiently dried my tears.

It's times like these that I'm thankful for astrology.

I can rely on more than vague faith to tell me that this, too, shall pass.

BONUS: Check out these celebrities with Moon in Scorpio. Do they look like crybabies to you?

Some real crocodile tears:

Blacks v. Whites = Pisces v. Gemini

2010-02-10T17:10:00.000-08:00

VS.

Notice the similarities between the symbols for Pisces and Gemini. Hmm...

I've been wanting to tackle this subject for awhile but didn't know where to begin.

At the beginning? Nah, that would take too long.

At the end? Nah, people won't understand my point.

So I'll start in the middle because we can all recognize the "You are Here X" part of the map, right?

Awhile ago, someone shared with me an astrologer's opinion that black people are represented by the sign Pisces and white people are represented by the sign Gemini.

When I heard this, I immediately did a mental run-through of all that I know about Pisces and Gemini and had a cha-ching! moment.

Consider this my co-sign.

Disclaimer: The first thing that we should remember is that the 12 zodiac signs are symbolic representations of concepts, motivations, personality traits, etc. that exist in nature. Zodiac signs are NOT people. So if your zodiac sign is Pisces or Gemini, please don't bother debating that this is not you. I'm not talking about you as a person. People are much more nuanced than their Sun sign description (see "Dear Astro Beginners" section in the sidebar).

Now that we're (hopefully) on the same page, moving on...

Let's review the sign of Pisces (ruled by Neptune and Jupiter):

Changeable
Transpersonal (i.e. concerned about people in general rather than individuals)
Spiritual
Universal consciousness
Lucky
Creative arts
Emotional
Co-dependent
Impractical
Sensitive
Intuitive
Receptive
Savior/martyr
Addictive/addicted
Escapism
Confusion
Indirect
Passive-aggressive
Self-pitying
Seductive
Charming
Magic
Glamour
Survivor
Empathic
Abstract
Healing
Soulful
Lost

Now think of terms/concepts that are associated with black people and why/how they are relevant (regardless of whether they are true or false):

Magical Negro
Entertainers
Welfare Queens
Deadbeat Dads
Crackheads
Pimps
Hos
Jesus Freaks
Godly
Seductresses
Mandingo
Lazy
Struggle
Kings
Queens
Healers
Self-hating
Self-destructive
Survivors
Forgiving
Oppressed
Mentally weak/lazy

Let's review the sign of Gemini (ruled by Mercury):

Changeable
Personal (i.e. concerned with individuals rather than people)
Curious
Experimental
Superficial
Independent
Communicative
Forked tongue
Two-faced
Relative
Amoral (i.e. situational ethics)
Logical
Argumentative
Controversial
Critical
Sarcastic
Versatile
Friendly
Indifferent
Detached
Trickster
Witty
Fact-finding/spreading
Masters of language
Scientific
Distaste for physical exertion

Now think of terms/concepts associated with white people and why/how they are relevant (regardless of whether they are true or false):

Smart/clever
Rich
Privileged
Beautiful
Devils
Pigs
Lazy
Destructive
Violent
Racist
Liars
Manipulative
Two-faced
Coded language
Detached
Oppressive
Physically weak/lazy

Mix Pisces and Gemini together and what do you get?

They are endlessly fascinated by their differences.
Both are easily bored, enjoy controversy/drama, and interested in behavior/patterns.
Pisces views Gemini's cleverness as intelligence. Trusts Gemini's grasp of "facts".
Gemini views Pisces' intuition as magic. Wants to understand the "trick".
Pisces desires Gemini to provide emotional sustenance & approval.
Gemini desires Pisces to provide insight and healing.
Co-dependent Pisces gets angry at Gemini's indifference, emotional detachment and experimentation.
Independent Gemini gets angry with Pisces' neediness, self-pity and lack of linear logic.
Empathic Pisces forgives Gemini's flaws and lack of spiritual evolution.
Logical Gemini blames Pisces for its own misfortunes.

Now let's review (a simplistic version of) black and white history in America:

Everyone's African. Most practice varying forms of socialism/collectivism.
Some curious (upwardly mobile) Africans migrate to other parts of the world.
The ones that enjoy Europe stay there.
Europeans create concept of capitalism (w/ pyramid-shaped structure).
Europeans use kingdoms (and serfdom) to strengthen concept of capitalism.
European royalty dispatch some Europeans to explore the world & report back.
Europeans want to conquer the explored areas but need labor to build colonies.
Europeans try to enslave many different peoples in order to avoid physical labor.
Those many people prove to be too weak for the physical labor.
Europeans befriend Africans.
Whites use Bible (spirituality) to bond with blacks and influence the culture.
Meanwhile, whites (superficially) study blacks' culture and experiment to test theories.
Whites spot and exploit differences to create clashes within black societies.
Whites use clashes to obtain black slaves.
Whites kidnap black slaves when they realize they need many more than originally expected.
Whites create laws in conquered America to benefit them and maintain blacks' subjugation.
Whites realize blacks are ~~superhuman~~ survivors, so laws and practices are created to disadvantage blacks as much as possible to avoid a revolution/rise.
Became illegal and/or a reason for punishment to a.) maintain ties to African culture and b.) learn White laws/languages beyond basic need-to-know basis.
Rebellious blacks who fought back were made into examples (e.g. torture and/or death, separation from family/plantations).
Passive blacks who maintained status quo kept their lives/families/security, and learned to depend on Whites for survival.
Smart blacks who pretended to be passive led/participated in successful revolutions.
Throughout slavery, blacks only got two reprieves from back-breaking work: entertaining Whites and practicing White religion (Christianity).
Slavery ends as a by-product of whites divided over regional economic independence.
Blacks are fortunate enough to slip through the cracks of the white-on-white war with their "freedom", but not their basic civil or human rights.
According to the U.S. Constitution - written by whites - people have a right to basic freedoms and all men are created equal...but not black men, black women and black children...or even white women, for that matter.
Blacks are "free" but not free.

Fast forward to present-day black-white race relations in America:

Blacks notably excelling in entertainment (music, sports, drama, etc.) and theology fields.
Blacks who excel in non-entertainment/theology fields aren't widely appreciated w/in larger black community (see sell-out).
Blacks distance themselves from White-created educational system and/or understanding White-created laws.
Blacks worship martyrs for the "revolution" and people who present themselves as saviors.
Blacks are disproportionately suffering from disease, drugs, unstable homes, poor education, etc.
Blacks are still fighting for "equality".
Blacks are simultaneously hating whites and still yearning for White approval.

Whites struggling to maintain status quo that favors them.
Whites recognizing that White-run capitalism screwed them over.
Whites blaming blacks for their own troubles and the degradation of America.
Whites still studying Black culture and enjoying Black entertainment.
Whites rewrote (& rewriting) history to absolve themselves of responsibility for past and current situations.
Whites still expecting absolution for their sins from ~~superhuman~~ spiritually evolved blacks (see Avatar, Green Mile, The Legend of Baggar Vance, Driving Miss Daisy, etc.).

Whites and blacks now expect a Magical Negro (with black/white and Pisces/Gemini) to save/heal them.

We're still endlessly fascinated by each other. And cannot separate - even if it will save us.

Happy Black History Month!

BONUS:

Gemini-Pisces Compatibility

Mutable Air (Gemini) and Mutable Water (Pisces)

These two are attracted to eachother like moths to a flame, and there's a lot of initial excitement. Both are absorbers, Gemini of ideas and Pisces of emotional impressions, and they've got a lot to talk about. Pisces will inspired by the Gemini joie de vivre, and follow their lead into stimulating activities and places. The built-in pitfalls here have to do with the sensitivity of Pisces, and the Twins' need for total freedom. Instinctually each understands the changeable nature of the other. But Pisces needs more emotional stability than Gemini can offer, and this only adds to the Piscean insecurity. When Pisces gets the sad look of neediness in their eyes, Gemini heads for the door.

Here you have two chameleons, making it hard to build on solid ground. Even when they try to be sincere, their slippery sense of self causes both to be manipulative without realizing it. Gemini is way too emotionally detached for Pisces, who may feel drained after time spent listening to the whirlygig, feeling everything that Gemini says. Gemini won't want to be censored, and will grow restless when any semblance of clarity from Pisces is eclipsed in a dreamy fog.

Basically this relationship is like a ship lost at sea without an anchor. Both thrive with a partner that leads the way, being so flexible and reactive to others. If Gemini tries to be the boss, Pisces will end up feeling trod upon and misunderstood. On a positive note, Pisces benefits from the detached perspective of Gemini, and can help shape their imaginative gifts. Gemini may be enchanted by the Piscean depths, and grow more heart-wise through the connection. This pairing makes for a memorable, possibly bewildering encounter, but might not have a basis for the long haul.

Famous Couples: Sid Vicious (Gemini) and Nancy Spungeon (Pisces); Drew Barrymore (Pisces) and Justin Long (Gemini); Donald Trump (Gemini) and Ivana Trump (Pisces); Drew Barrymore (Pisces) and Fabrizio Moretti (Gemini); Erykah Badu (Pisces) and Andre 3000 (Gemini)

Source

Erykah Badu and Andre 3000 were a quintessential Pisces and Gemini couple. They are attracted to each other's quirkiness but it usually ends up in (Pisces) tears and (Gemini) guilt. All blacks (Pisces) want from whites (Gemini) is an admission of wrong-doing and a (sincere) apology. If whites admitted and apologized, I believe black anger (and drama) would instantaneously go poof! I also believe this will never happen because...have you ever tried to get a Gemini to admit to an error? And have you ever tried to get Pisces to leave the pity party?

Mariah & Nick: Opposites Attract (And Can Last!) - Part 2

2010-02-09T16:34:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, we looked at how opposites Gemini and Sagittarius managed to have the world's longest marriage of a living couple.

So now let's look at a newer marriage of opposites: Mariah Carey (Aries) and Nick Cannon (Libra).

On April 30, 2008, these two shocked their fans (and critics) with a quickie marriage ceremony after dating for only 2.5 months. By all accounts (mostly theirs), this couple is going on two years of married bliss - much longer than I initially gave them (yeah, I lost a bet).

If you've ever wondered what do they see in each other, then you've come to the right place! Let's find out...

Despite the obvious outward differences in age ~~and income brackets~~, Mariah and Nick are also fundamentally different. The Aries-Libra opposition represents the me v. we balancing act that is the foundation of any relationship. Every relationship contains two separate individuals who become one team for a common purpose. Both individuals within every relationship has his or her own self-centered (Aries) reasons for wanting to be in the relationship. But if those two individuals only think of themselves and never consider The Other Person's needs (Libra), then the partner will most likely withdraw from the relationship. The opposite is true as well. Not paying enough attention to fulfilling one's own needs can lead to personal unhappiness, which is also a relationship killer. Who wants to be in a relationship with a miserable person? When people say "I lost myself in my relationship", what they are saying is that they were leaning too heavily on the "we" side of the Aries-Libra equation.

One listen to any random Mariah Carey song tells us that she's an idealistic Aries who is infatuated with relationships and finding her "dream lover". After her brief yet emotionally-draining marriage to then-boss Tommy Mottola (Cancer), she divorced and became a serial monogamist. Her most notable relationships & flings include Derek Jeter (another Cancer, Mariah? I guess her Cancer rising makes her a bit of a relationship masochist), Luis Miguel (Aries), and Eminem (Libra).

Enter Nick Cannon, Mr. Lucky Libra (whose most notable past relationships are with airy women: Libra Kim Kardashian, Libra Christina Millian, and Aquarius Selita Ebanks). Libras are the ultimate relationship therapists who know how to spot the heartbroken from miles away. They love to be boo-ed up, and are naturally adept at maintaining the balance of their interpersonal relationships.

In the early 00's, Mariah suffered a nervous breakdown from exhaustion - or a serious case of what I like to call "yes-itis". We can see from her non-stop hits in the 90's and full 10th house (Sun, Mercury, Venus, Saturn, Chiron) that she devotes most of her energy towards building her career and public image. Mars rules her 10th house and Jupiter rules her 6th house. In other words, she's a workaholic. With the wrong partner and social circle, she could literally end up working herself to death because there's always something else to do in her day to help her career.

Despite Mariah's workaholic tendencies, she also has a passion (read: addiction) for romance. Her Moon-Neptune conjunction in Sagittarius is in her 5th house of pleasure, recreation, romance and creativity. This conjunction connects to her 3rd, 4th and 10th houses via Pluto in Virgo, Uranus in Libra and Sun/Chiron in Aries, respectively. Now we see why we can tell the condition of her love life from her lyrics. Romance is the only area in her life that can compete with her career and her romantic relationships greatly influence her emotional stability.

We don't know Nick's exact birth time, so I drew up a chart with his Sun as Ascendant. We can use this to see how he views relationships, the type of energy he brings to Mariah's life and how they likely interact with each other.

The first thing I notice when I see Nick's chart is the cluster of planets in Libra, which means he and Mariah have opposing values and approaches in a number of areas. Specifically, Nick's ego, emotions, sense of responsibility, and willpower are opposite Mariah's ego, communication style, relationship values and her idea of self-healing.

These oppositions don't necessarily have to mean clashes, though. Nick's extremely focused on his relationships and gains confidence from being in a partnership, especially with a beautiful, successful woman. Because of all of the Aries energy in her chart, I would say that underneath her childish, "protect me" personality (Cancer rising), Mariah is a very willful, dominant, and self-motivated person. Lucky for Nick that it's in Mariah's best self-interests to have a happy romantic life. When indecisive Nick can't make up his mind, Mariah can come in and make the final decision. When Mariah wants to charge full steam ahead down one path, Nick can slow her down and review the different options first. This balancing act is possible if they respect each other's judgment.

Besides his Libra stellium, Nick also has a few planets in Scorpio, which adds some much-needed depth and magnetic appeal to his boyish Libran charm. Mariah's Cancer rising says she's looking for a father figure as a partner (hello Tommy Mottola!). Her 5th house is ruled by Scorpio, so she needs to feel a deep, emotional connection with her sexual partners and likely has a more-more-more! attitude about sex/love/partners. Nick's Mercury in Scorpio intuits Mariah's needs and his Mars in Scorpio is more than ready to deliver. You need a man who will be glued to your hip, fight off anyone who messes with you, and sex you so good you won't think of anyone else? I'm your man! We may see Nick as a youngster, but Mariah probably sees him as a grown and sexy man - her knight & shining armor (see Nick's response to fellow Libra Eminem's diss of Mariah).

Side-note: Mariah claims not to have slept with Eminem, but I doubt she's telling the truth. Not only is Eminem a Libra like Nick but he also has Moon in Scorpio - either falling in her 5th house of romantic flings or 4th house of emotional security. They definitely bonded ~~through their genitals, which are ruled by Scorpio~~. Another clue is that Mariah's fued with Eminem has lasted way too long for them to have just been acquaintances (see 2002's "Clown", "Superman", 2009's "Obsessed"). Scorpio loves and hates with a passion. No in-between. If their mutual attraction turned to hate, then ~~sex~~ something had to have been the catalyst.

But back to Nick and Mariah. Nick's Mars-Uranus conjunction in Scorpio is conjunct Mariah's Moon-Neptune conjunction in her 5th house. They were friends for three years before suddenly dating and marrying two months later. Nick's Libra stellium (Sun, Moon, Saturn, Pluto) is in Mariah's 4th house. His presence in her life greatly influences her emotional well-being - reinforcing one of her natal patterns. His Moon (wife)-Saturn (responsibility, security) conjunction is conjunct her Uranus in Libra (unique relationships). He has said that he immediately recognized her as "wifey material". She instantly felt that he was a solid, dependable partner who's responsive to her emotional needs. All of the activity in the 4th house indicates they feel "at home" with each other. With Uranus involved in this pattern, their "home" is unstable or unconventional - e.g. living out of a suitcase, having many different homes, eccentric decorations, etc. Some may think that Uranus injects some fickleness into a relationship, indicating spontaneous starts and stops (break-ups to make-ups, anyone?). In Nick and Mariah's case, I think Uranus just adds a nice touch of friendship and originality. They won't easily get bored with each other. (Have you seen their..um..zany coordinated outfits/outings?)

Potential problems could arise if one or both of them begin to feel that their relationship is getting in the way of their careers or making them look bad to the public, especially Mariah (with so much natal activity in her 10th house and Nick-related activity in her 4th house). We know Mariah is super ambitious, but it's hard to say if Nick is as career-driven as his wife because we can't tell where his Libra and Scorpio stelliums are located. Also, Saturn is very much involved in this relationship. Each of their Saturns opposes a personal planet of the other. Relationships without Saturn usually end quickly because there's no "glue" to hold the people together. This is extra necessary since Uranus is all up and through their relationship as well. Another potential issue could be inactivity. If for some reason they're stuck in one place (literally or figuratively), the amount of frustration generated could make them turn on each other.

Summary/Prediction: For now, it looks like they have enough positive energy going for them (read: they're both obsessed with love) to make their relationship worth their while. Many have questioned whether this relationship is imbalanced or just an elaborate publicity stunt. From the looks of their chart interaction, I don't think either of these speculations is true.

Yes, we can learn a lot from watching opposite signs interact. Finding that sweet spot of compromise is the key to maintaining mutually satisfying and functional interpersonal relationships. For those of us who have oppositions in our charts, we can learn how to balance the needs of conflicting parts of our personalities or lives. Those of us with little to no oppositions in our chart can learn that there's some middle ground between all and nothing.

Interesting Note: Christina Millian, Nick Cannon's ex (that he cheated on), is now married and expecting a baby with singer/producer The Dream - who co-wrote/produced several songs on Mariah's latest album. Hmm....

BONUS: The Dream's demo version of Mariah's latest hit about wanting to hate an ex rather than longing after them. Hmm!

QUESTIONS: Does Mariah and Nick have what it takes to survive? Do you see something in their charts that I missed? Have you ever dated your opposite (by sign, personality or values)? What attracted you to that person? What were the challenges? Did you learn anything from that relationship? Who's your favorite "opposites attract" celebrity couple?

Related Posts
World's Longest Marriage: Opposites Attract (And Can Last!) - Part 1

Sources:
Mariah Carey
Nick Cannon

World's Longest Marriage: Opposites Attract (And Can Last!) - Part 1

2010-02-08T15:46:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I read about an engagement announcement between Capricorn and Cancer. My first reaction was to doubt the longevity of this relationship, but this marriage just may have a chance (if it can overcome having two celebrities in it, that is). We've all heard the "opposites attract" cliche, right? When we think of opposites, we tend to think of two people, concepts, or things that are polarized and share nothing in common.

However, in astrological terms, opposites represent the two sides of the same coin. Opposite signs have similar values and life purposes but usually disagree on the strategies and tactics to use to reach their goals. When two people with opposite Sun (zodiac) signs attract, their souls are drawn to each other in order to learn how to compromise. If they don't master the art of negotiation, then the relationship ends. But if both of them can find a way to think of the bigger "we" picture instead of viewing each other as opponents, then these karmic relationships can last a very long time.

For example...

As of 2009, Gemini Herbert and Sagittarius Zelmyra Fisher hold the Guinness World Record for the longest marriage of any living couple. On May 13, 2010, they will celebrate their 86th year of marriage.

This couple is a good case of how opposites attract and can stay together if they both have effective relationship skills, which include the ability to maximize their similarities and negotiate their differences.

Herbert and Zelmyra's 8 Similarities & Differences

1. They both said they shared the title of "boss."

Even though they were married almost 50 years before the heyday of the U.S. feminism movement, Herbert and Zelmyra managed to come to an agreement on their marriage expectations that defied their era. Gemini and Sagittarius are progressive signs that naturally "think outside the box", so it's not a surprise that they redefined society's gender roles to create a marriage that works for them. Zelmyra's Moon is in Aquarius (at 29 degrees), so I imagine she comes from a long line of unconventional women who live by their own rules. In 2010, we have a lot to learn from these two about embracing our uniqueness within relationships.

2. Both are family-oriented

In 1942, Herbert built the couple's home where they have resided for over 50 years. His Neptune in Cancer envisioned a secure home and his Moon-Jupiter trine in earth signs illustrates his ability to turn his dreams into a practical gift for his family, with help from a square to Pluto in Gemini for focused determination.

The couple have 5 children, 10 grandchildren, nine great-grandchildren and four great-great grandchildren. Now this is a surprise. Gallivanting Gemini and seeker Sagittarius managed to stay in one place long enough to create stable roots for a large family? (Think Gemini Angelina Jolie and Sagittarius Brad Pitt.)

They are both adamantly against divorce yet are shocked at the length of their marriage (me too!):

Herbert, 104, is amazed at their longevity. “I didn’t know I would be married this long,” he says.

“I didn’t know it would be as long as it is now,” she says of her 85 years with the same man. “I knew that I wouldn’t be looking for another husband.”

3. Shared money values

According to their children, Herbert and Zelmyra are both excellent savers:

Those bad times include the lean years of the Great Depression when Herbert worked for as little as a nickel a day. They had to raise their own food and ration it for their young children. Perhaps those difficult years bonded and empowered them to remain married for so long.

"They were excellent parents," said Norma Godette. "We were poor, but we didn't do without a thing. If he had two cents he saved one cent."

Herbert worked as a mechanic at the Coca-Cola Bottling Company in New Bern for 35 years.

He took a bicycle, caught a cab or had a neighbor drive him to work.
That hard work and savings put all five of the children through college.

Hard-working & money-saving aren't exactly the two adjectives that first come to mind when I think of Gemini and Sagittarius, but Herbert and Zelmyra obviously defy their Sun sign stereotypes. These two signs are notorious spendthrifts who live for today and worry about tomorrow when it comes. Perhaps the only signs that have them beat on short-sighted spending is adventurous Aries and luxury-loving Leo.

So what gives?

Both have Venus in security-conscious earth signs. Herbert has Venus in Taurus sextile Saturn in Pisces. He demonstrated a strong work ethic to his children without being severe. With her Venus-Uranus conjunction in Capricorn, no doubt Zelmyra assisted by offering Herbert some good investment advice over the years.

4. Similar hobbies

They are fond of television news programs, and Herbert especially likes watching his favorite baseball team, the Atlanta Braves. They also take pleasure in sitting on their front porch to watch neighbors come and go and railroad trains whisk by.

Both Gemini and Sagittarius are observers. Gemini likes to connect the dots between various opinions and concepts, while Sagittarius develops theories about why people do what they do. An hour of watching neighbors probably leads to an entire week's worth of discussion.

5. Different daily routine preferences

Now that the children are grown, the Fishers enjoy having a bedroom for each. Herbert Fisher can stay up until the last ball is thrown in the ballgame he is watching. And he does.

Herbert has Mars in ultra-competitive Scorpio, which explains why he enjoys watching sports while his wife (with Mars in gentle Pisces) rejuvenates through solitary rest. They both have Venus-Uranus aspects, making it easier for them to accept their spouse's quirks.

6. Both are spiritual...but with different sets of beliefs and practices

Besides family, God and the church have been ever-present in the Fishers’ lives. They have maintained memberships at separate houses of worship during their marriage. She belongs to Jones Chapel African Methodist Episcopal Zion Church; he’s a member of Pilgrim Chapel Missionary Baptist Church. Both are in James City, the close-knit community where they grew up together.

They go their own ways on Sunday morning. She reads the Bible daily.

Many couples find it difficult to maintain satisfying inter-religious marriages, but these two developed a way to work around this issue. Stereotypical Geminis are not very spiritual but Herbert has a Moon in Virgo trine Jupiter in Taurus. Trines and sextiles to Jupiter indicate a spiritual, philosophically generous person. He enjoys the more traditional Baptist religion with rules that are less open to interpretation. On the other hand, Zelmyra has a Sun-Jupiter trine in fire signs, which also indicates that she has a highly evolved spiritual outlook on life. However, her idea of religion is obviously quite different from Herbert's. Sagittarius enjoys "foreign" cultures and appreciates religious practices that are tolerant, promotes diversity and progressive. AME is less traditional than Baptist. They often have female ministers and racially diverse congregations. I wouldn't be surprised if Zelmyra enjoys her church because it allowed her to take the lead on projects in a time when that was rare.

7. Both have gentle natures and value niceness.

Herbert said Zelmyra never gave him any trouble. "No, no trouble at all. We never argued, but we might have disagreed," he said.

They both have quite a bit of earth and water in their charts, revealing more placid natures than we'd first assume from a go-go-go air/fire couple. Between their charts is a tight Mars-Mars trine, indicating that they can work together without much fuss because they have similar approaches to conflict management. Mars in water signs can "hear" each other without lengthy explanations. They are very aware, and respectful, of each other's moods. Zelmyra's Mars in Pisces indicates she is skillful in the art of soft persuasion, while Herbert's Mars in Scorpio says he is the proverbial strong, silent type. A hug or some good sex probably smoothed over many a rough patch between them. ;-)

Zelmyra doesn’t attribute her long, vibrant life to healthy eating, exercise or costly nutritional supplements. Her efforts have been focused on her inner person and building relationships with others. “[You have to] know how to talk to people,” she says. “Try to treat everyone right.”

"He was not mean; he was not a fighter," Zelmrya said. "He was quiet and kind. He was not much to look at but he was sweet."

A "quiet" Gemini?! I didn't believe it until I looked at his chart. :-P Although Gemini is the chatterbox of the zodiac, most of Herbert's planets are in the calmer, quieter water or earth signs. Also, he has Mercury in Gemini conjunct Pluto in Gemini - adding weight to his words. He doesn't speak unless he has something meaningful to say. Meanwhile, Zelmyra has a Mercury-Mars square and Mercury-Saturn trine in water signs. Although she's tactful, she probably has no trouble getting her point across - forcefully if necessary. As we can see from their interviews, she's the spokesperson for the couple.

He's not much to look at, huh, Zelmyra? Hehe. Gotta love blunt Sagittarius. Neither Gemini nor Sagittarius are shallow in marriage. Both signs require a deeper connection than physical attraction to remain interested in a longterm relationship. Given the choice of a companion that is drop-dead gorgeous yet boring or an average-looking yet stimulating partner, both signs would pick the latter for a non-fling. Gemini requires a mental connection, variety of experience and separate social circles in relationships, while Sagittarius requires shared basic philosophies and the freedom to develop different ones if it so chooses.

8. Both say that if they had it to do over, they would not change their life.

Zelmyra, 101, scorns the idea that there’s some secret to the longevity of their marriage. “No secrets,” she says. “There isn’t any secret. It was only God that kept us together.”

BONUS: Numerology says...

Both Herbert and Zelmyra are born on the 10th day of their birthday months, giving them an independent streak with a love for original approaches to life. They also both have executive leadership abilities. It's a good thing that they allow each other to share the title of "relationship boss". :)

Another married couple is on my radar: Aries Mariah Carey & Libra Nick Cannon.

Tomorrow, I'll check out what attracts these opposites to each other and predict whether or not they'll last as long as Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher.

Stay tuned...

QUESTIONS: What do you think of the Fishers? Are you as shocked as I was to find out a Gemini and Sagittarius have the longest marriage on record? Have you ever dated your opposite (by sign, personality or values)? What attracted you to that person? What were the challenges? Did you learn anything from that relationship? Of the 6 pairs of zodiac opposites, which pair do you think has the highest chance of success? Lowest chance of success?

Any other thoughts or feelings?

Sources:
Married 84 Years, And Still Loving (Sun Journal)
Couple Maintains World Record For Longest Marriage (AARP)
Craven County Minutes (pp. 4-5)

5 Signs of Asexuality

2010-02-07T10:29:00.000-08:00

So I went on a date last night and had fun.

When you read "fun", did you assume that I had sex?

If yes, then we're not working with the same definition of "fun". My idea of a fun date is good conversation, lots of laughs, maybe even an adrenaline rush or two (from indoor bungee-jumping!). If I'm stimulated and sexually attracted enough, I want to cuddle and indulge in extended foreplay but...I'm never in a rush to have sex - no matter how well the date went.

Ever since I began dating at 16, I've realized that this attitude makes me abnormal. While my friends were preoccupied with planning their next sexual rendezvous, my head was in the clouds or in the future. As an adult, my friends are pulling out their hair after a month of no sex, while I can easily "endure" months of celibacy by becoming superhumanly productive.

Even when I'm sexually attracted to someone, I don't necessarily want to have sex with them. I've been in situations where I'm extremely attracted but run in the other direction. Weird but true.

Because of this, I have questioned my sexuality more than a few times. I'm too sexually turned on by men to be homosexual. But I rarely feel enough of an emotional connection with men to feel comfortable enough to have sex with them. With women, I feel amazing emotional connections that help us form intimate bonds...but I don't want to have sex with them, either. It's a sexual catch 22. I can either have emotionally disconnected sex that feels good physically but I regret afterwards or have emotionally connected sex that's less than physically stimulating.

So if I'm not heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual, then what the hell am I?

I recently read an article that has me redefining my sexual orientation.

Some FAQ:

What are the origins of asexuality?
Asexuality is not the same thing as celibacy, which is a conscious choice, nor is it a side effect of a medical condition, which is a serious problem. Asexuality is merely an intrinsic aspect of a person, no different from any of the more commonly discussed sexual orientations.

Do asexuals experience attraction?
Many do experience attraction, in the form of an emotional connection with someone or an aesthetic appreciation of their physical features, but are not motivated to act on that attraction in a sexual manner.

Can asexual people have relationships?
Absolutely! Some prefer to remain single, but others form intimate long-term partnerships. “Asexuality” is a very broad label: some asexuals only date other asexuals, while others date sexual people. Some choose to have sex even though they do not experience sexual attraction, others do not. Asexuals who are interested in forming relationships are referred to as “romantic,” while those who have no interest in relationships whatsoever are considered “aromantic.”

Do asexuals experience arousal?
Many do, though it does not lead to a desire to find a sexual partner. Some asexual people are not involved in any kind of sexual activity, others masturbate but have no interest in intercourse with another person. Other asexuals use sex to express romantic attraction for a sexual partner, or experience sexual attraction that is based solely on an emotional connection, not on any outward characteristics (known as “demisexual”). - itsjustkarma

According to this, I'm a romantic asexual.

Although I generally dislike labeling myself, there is a comfort in knowing that my sexual orientation has a name and that there are others in the world like me.

So now that we have a label, I began to wonder if there are astrological indicators for asexuality.

Typically, we look to Venus and Mars in a person's birth chart to get some clues about his or her romantic and sexual style or preferences. The 5th house (romance) and 8th house (deep sex) add more context to the overall sexual picture.

Here are 5 Signs That You Might Be Asexual:

1. Venus or Mars in an air sign (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius).

Of the four elements, air signs are the most cerebral and least connected to the physical body. These three signs enjoy thinking about or discussing sex. Trey Songz may have invented sex, but someone with Venus or Mars in an air sign surely invented mind sex, phone sex, cyber-sex, sexting and virtual sex. We like "sex" that requires active participation from the brain, preferably with some type of emotional or physical distance. Therefore, those of us with Venus or Mars in Gemini, Libra or Aquarius can go longer than the other signs without any physical sexual contact with another person because we're having good sex all of the time - in our minds. Anyone who has actually lived out a fantasy knows that, sometimes, fantasies are better left in the imagination.

Both my Venus and Mars are in Gemini. In other words, stroking my imagination evokes the same feeling that another woman with Venus or Mars in a water, earth or fire sign would get from her nipple getting stroked. A man has a better chance of seducing me by telling me what he wants to do to me rather than actually showing me.

Many descriptions list "intelligence" as a Venus or Mars in Gemini turn-on. But that's a superficial analysis (boo!). Gemini doesn't value "intelligence" for the sake of itself. Holding the most PhDs, reciting the encyclopedia or winning Jeopardy four times isn't what's turning us on. Rather, we're turned on by someone having enough cleverness (or enough curiosity to seek out many tidbits of information) to keep us thoroughly entertained by newness. We're not really concerned with who is the smartest person in the room. We want to know who's most likely to know more sexual positions and techniques. Who's most willing to go there with us? You want to have sex on a roller coaster in space? Me too! Unpredictability is sexy. Igniting my imagination with double entendres, the ability to massage language, and poetic expressions of emotion is sexy. After hearing someone whisper erotic nothings in my ear, I want to light up a (fake) cigarette.

While I don't have a strong desire to have physical sex with someone, I do have a strong desire for a romantic partner. Finding out that this still qualifies me as an asexual was enlightening!

My Venus in Gemini in the 7th house makes no major aspect to any other planet in my chart. Nevertheless, it's strongly placed in its natural house of one-on-one partnerships. Not only am I at my best with a partner, but I feel somewhat lost without one. It's the same feeling I imagine a twin feels when separated from the other twin - a feeling of being whole yet somehow incomplete. All things being equal, Venus in Libra (the sign ruled by Venus) would have similar feelings of being incomplete without a partner.

2. Mars-Saturn. Mars desires sex and hunts for a sexual partner to quickly fulfill those desires. Saturn acts cautiously and is concerned with consequences of impulsive actions. These two planets combined can result in slowed sex drives, inhibitions about making sexual desires known, insecurity about sexual attractiveness, performance anxieties, or fears of judgment. Of course, the signs that Mars and Saturn are in adds more flavor.

We know that Mars in experimental Gemini's idea of sex is discussing or imagining having sex. My Saturn is in picky Virgo. Virgo is never satisfied with Gemini's selection of a sexual partner:

Mars in Gemini to Saturn in Virgo: Did you hear the way he just described his philosophy of life? He's sexy! Imagine what he can do with some Scrabble tiles. Mmm mmm mmm!

Saturn in Virgo to Mars in Gemini: Yeah, but did you also hear him say that variety is the spice of life? You know what that means: he's probably slept with enough people to fill up New York! He could have a STD, girl! Don't do it!!!

Case in point: Several months ago, I went on a date with a man who I found very physically attractive. The conversation was flowing and he was getting sexier with every witty comeback. In the middle of our flirt session, he spied a man walk by in a pair of skinny jeans, which prompted him to throw out a few "witty" barbs that sounded like a homophobic rant to my ears. Now, most women I know would have ignored these opinions and continued the date. Maybe even joining in with a few snarky comments of their own. But not me. I was so disgusted with him that my arousal instantly died. His opinion had nothing to do with me but it revealed him to be a closed-minded fool - NOT sexy! It was a true "check please!" moment.

2. Venus-Mars Square, Opposition or Conjunction. In the 7th house. When Venus (our romantic ideals) and Mars (our sexual desires) "talk" to each other, there's an increased chance of finding a satisfying partner. Can't get anything started without that conversation, right? But what if the conversation turns into an argument because these two can't get on the same page? What if Venus only wants to associate with brag-worthy people but Mars is only sexually attracted to people who rebel against society's standards? In these cases, it's very difficult for the person to have their cake (a satisfying relationship) and eat it, too (be sexually satisfied). As a result of experiencing many disappointments, they may end up cheating or deciding not to enter into any sexual or romantic relationship.

I have a Venus-Mars conjunction (by sign). In my case, it's not very difficult to find a satisfying romantic and sexual partner because I'm usually sexually attracted to the type of man who also shares my relationship values. What's so bad about that? The rub is that I end up attracting people who are exactly like me, rather than someone who complements my personality by filling in the gaps. Hello Gemini Twins!

Not only do I have Asc (personality) opposing Mars (action) interpreted in the 7th house, (of romantic relationships) but my Gemini Mars (sexual partner) is exactly conjunct my Gemini Descendant (ideal Other). In my relationships, it becomes difficult to tell just who is the "Gemini" partner. Imagine two pairs of Twins in one relationship all arguing every side of every issue, never making a decision because all points of view haven't been thoroughly analyzed and discussed, yet. Imagine all four of these people changing their minds at a moment's notice. Not the most stable situation, right? It's quite nerve-wracking, to say the least.

Case in point: My first sexual partner has a Gemini Asc and Sagittarius Desc, which is my relationship mirror opposite. Pretty cool, right? However, he has Mars in Gemini just like me. Think about this for a minute. He has Gemini Mars in the 1st house. I have Gemini Mars in the 7th house. To make things even more crazy, my ex also has Saturn in Gemini and was going through his Saturn Return while we were together. We spent most of our relationship accusing the other one of being argumentative, indecisive, a flirt, etc. The sad part is that I now know that we were both right. We were literally and symbolically reflecting each other's strengths and challenges.

It was fun at first but then became hell.

Astrological relationship theory goes: We attract people with qualities represented by our Descendant (the opposite of our Ascendant) to make us "whole". How can I find the person who complements my personality (Ascendant) if I am the person that complements me? Am I looking for qualities in others that I should be recognizing/developing in myself? Am I my own ideal partner?

3. A Strong Neptune. Neptune is idealistic. It's our connection to the Universe. It represents the part of our psyche or life where we practice blind faith, seduce others or are easily seduced. Those of us with Neptune prominent in our charts walk through life smelling roses and disregarding the ugliness of the thorns and weeds. We see the "God" around us. Whatever Neptune touches in our chart becomes lifted to a pedestal. If Neptune touches Venus, Mars or our Moon, then we idealize our love and sex partners or emotional connections with our partners.

I have a 1st house Neptune that connects to my 8th house of intimacy and 9th house of ideals via trines to Leo Mercury, Leo Jupiter, and square Virgo Saturn. My Trail of Broken Hearts is littered with people who I thought (Mercury) were the best things since the microwave...until I got closer to them and realized that they are not Mr. Perfect of my imagination but flesh and blood with human flaws (Virgo Saturn). I'm that woman who gets grossed out by flatulence, random body hair where it shouldn't be, lack of self control, crass behavior, an unkind nature, etc. The disappointment of seeing a person's humanness (or lack of humanity) is a sexual turn-off. With Neptune involved, no mere mortal can satisfy my dreams so it becomes more satisfying to remain single and date a "dream lover" (written by Mariah Carey, with Moon/Neptune conjunction in Sagittarius and North Node in dreamy Pisces):

4. A water-ruled 8th house. The 8th house represents how we view intimacy and how easy it is for us to be intimate with others. If our 8th house is ruled by Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces, we're psychically receptive to others. We yearn for soul connections but may also fear emotional vulnerability.

My 8th house is ruled by Cancer (Moon). We are extra protective of the issues associated with our Cancer-ruled house. My Sun in Cancer is here. I'm very sensitive to someone misusing the power they gain from entering my "secret garden". Because my 5th house is tied to my 8th house through aspects between Mars (sex drive), Mercury (thinking, communication) and Jupiter (ideals, ethics), I require a mind-body-heart-soul connection to feel safe enough to let someone inside me - both literally and figuratively. It's hard enough finding a connection with someone on just one of these levels. Imagine how hard it is to find someone who holds ALL of the keys to open my locked 8th house!

Ironically, the very concept that makes us with a water-ruled 8th house most nervous is also what can lead to our truest healing: deeply spiritual, emotionally-connected sex therapy (shout-out to Robin Thicke, whose patient Pisces Sun and sexual Scorpio Moon wrote this delicious song):

5. Moon, Venus or Mars in 12th house. Our Moon symbolizes our emotional responses to life, what we need to feel comfortable and fulfilled, our instincts, the unconscious messages we learned/inherited from our mother, how we nurture and are nurtured. As we already know, Venus and Mars are the love and sex planets. When at least one of these planets are in the 12th house, some major aspect of our love natures remains hidden from us or from others.

My Moon is in Scorpio in the 12th house of secrets, the subconscious, the collective unconscious and past lives (if you believe in reincarnation). Moon in Scorpio keeps emotions, motives and passions a secret. Moon in Scorpio in the 12th house "knows" that it's dangerous to explore or share emotions, motives and passions without serious repercussions. The popular phrase "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" was probably coined by someone with a Scorpio Moon. In my past life, perhaps I found out the hard way that passion should be controlled. Having my Moon in the sign that rules the sexual reproductive organs is a good indicator that I have a strong (yet submerged) sex drive and/or was exposed to sex at a very early age.

Both of these are true.

I grew up with the implicit and explicit message that sex is private. It seemed to me as a child that every adult treated sex like the ultimate taboo, refusing to talk about it in any other way except for "keep your legs closed! having sex will ruin your life!" (shout-out to my dad with Saturn in Scorpio) or whispering about it behind my back. As a response, I became obsessed with investigating sex to satisfy my curiosity. I found out the deep, dark secrets of many adults who lived "lightly" during the day. The teacher that taught us to have self-respect and treat our bodies like temples was having affairs with my classmates' parents. The woman who claimed not to enjoy sex at all had a drawer full of porn. Neighbors were postal workers by day but trading sexual favors for crack by night. And so on.

Thanks to my Scorpio Moon quindecile Gemini Mars, I discovered way more about people's secret sex lives than any child should know. I inadvertantly confirmed through my snooping (or just being in the right place at the right time to overhear information) that the nagging feeling in the back of my mind that whispers to me about the dangers of letting my baser desires get the best of me is a warning that I best heed. I learned early not to try everything that flits across my imagination (Mars in Gemini) because it just might become an addiction (Mars in the 6th house of habits). Consequently, rather than indulge myself sexually, I pour all of my energy into a wide variety of interests (Gemini) to keep me focused on anything other than fulfilling my sexual desires with someone else and possibly opening myself up to dangerous vulnerability (see #4) or the joy of repetition (shout-out to Prince!).

Some celebrity examples of Quindeciles to the Moon and Mars:

Quindecile to the Moon Arnold Schwarzenegger has his 6th house Moon in Capricorn QD ASC, suggesting the ambitious, workaholic drive entering into the identity, potentially upsetting relationships.

Quindecile to Mars Albert Einstein has Mars in Capricorn QD his ASC, suggesting the quality of unrelenting determination and achievement fused with the identity.

QUESTIONS: What's your sexual orientation? How does your Moon, Venus or Mars describe your sexuality? What are some other indications for asexuality in the natal chart? Do you know anyone who fits the description of an asexual?

New to astrology? Find out how Venus and Mars work together as a team to influence/describe your sexuality.

Related Resources:
Asexuality: The Ace of Hearts
Asexuality Visibility and Education Network (AVEN)

BONUS: If you're a pro at faking an orgasm, then you might be asexual (or need better sex partners).

How to Fake An Orgasm

Question: What sparked your interest in astrology? Formal training?

2010-02-07T05:21:00.001-08:00

What sparked your interest in astrology? Have you had formal training or classes in the field?

People would give me gifts here and there - like a keychain or whatever - with a description of my zodiac sign. It seemed to fit me. But I wasn't too sure about it until I began reading different books to help me figure out why a boyfriend and I weren't getting along. The descriptions of Aries + Cancer clashes were so on point. It was like the author knew both of us. A few years later, a friend started showing me more about the rest of my chart. And the nuances of my personality/viewpoints that weren't described by my zodiac sign began to fit into place.

Yes, I have had some formal training. The equivalent of going to Open University v. getting a degree. But mostly, it's been a self-taught study with help from various astrologers that I respect and practical application. With each person that I counsel I learn something new. They all teach me something.

Ask. I might have an answer.

My Turn: What sparked YOUR interest in astrology?

Venus in Love, Mars in Heat

2010-02-07T04:12:00.000-08:00

I'm republishing a post that I wrote about Venus and Mars in 2007.

Do you ever wonder why the person you’re attracted to isn’t reciprocating your feelings? Or why the person who you couldn’t care less about keeps following you around like a lost puppy? We can look to the placements of our Venus and Mars for answers to these (and other) questions. Which sign Venus is in tells us our ideal of love, how we attract (and express) love, and how we want to receive love. The sign in which Mars falls tells us how we exert our energy to attain what attracts us..

Here’s a rundown of how feminine Venus and masculine Mars work together as a team to help us get (Mars) what we want (Venus) in matters of love and sex (keep in mind that most people have Venus and Mars in different signs, so mix-and-match “teammates” is highly likely).

Disclaimer: There are others astrological indicators of love and sex styles, but this post is only discussing Venus and Mars.

Note: In a woman’s chart, her Venus sign represents her love style, while her Mars sign represents the type of man that makes her feel … lusty. In a man’s chart, his Venus sign represents the woman in his fantasies, while his Mars sign represents how he tries to persuade a woman to choose him (for sex, love, whatever).

Team Aries

Venus in Aries: believes love should happen at first sight; likes independent, go-getters; enjoys chasing and being chased; attracts love by inspiring/encouraging suitors to pursue and “win” her; flirts by teasing and picking fights; expects to be #1 in the relationship (and in her partner’s life) or will lose interest quickly; arguing and friendly competition is an aphrodisiac

Mars in Aries: boldly pursues object of affection using a direct approach; actively demonstrates his prowess in anything, acts adventurous, and is more than willing to compete for affection; arguing and/or physical fighting is instant foreplay; initiates a lot of right-now, anywhere-goes quickie sex

Team Taurus

Venus in Taurus: believes love should come after a lot of long-term consideration; likes (and is impressed by) wealthy people; attracts love by being emotionally stable and having consistent habits; flirts by providing physical comfort; wants to feel secure in relationships and “know where this is going”; rich, comfort foods, receiving massages, listening to music, and fragrances that smell like something edible (mmm vanilla!) are aphrodisiacs

Mars in Taurus: slowly pursues the object of affection using a persistent approach; acts like the typical strong, silent type; talks about his goals/plans or shows off his nice possessions when he’s attracted to someone, and may even present his credit report as proof of his financial stability and ability while asking for a date or during a marriage proposal (yes, I’m exaggerating here); gives massages, long embraces, and slow kisses as foreplay; initiates steady, lasts-all-night sex

Team Gemini

Venus in Gemini: believes love should mean never having to say, “I’m bored”; likes quotable, multifaceted people who have lots of diverse interests; attracts love by being infinitely entertaining; flirts by sharing thoughts & feelings and assigning pet names; wants 24/7 communication accessibility in relationships; variety, unpredictability, and verbal/written expressions of love are aphrodisiacs

Mars in Gemini: sporadically pursues object of affection using a now-you-see-me-now-you-don’t approach; attracts attention by making clever observations and extending invitations to fun and/or interesting events; provides playful, sarcastic teasing, writing/reading erotic letters, and sexually suggestive phone conversations as foreplay; initiates quick, multiple-session sex.

Team Cancer

Venus in Cancer: believes love should be nurturing; likes people who need mothering (or who are mothering) and are appreciative of her efforts; attracts love by making people feel cozy and sheltered; expresses love by feeding and/or cooking for someone, remembering preferences, giving thoughtful tokens of affection; wants interdependence in relationships; emotional bonding and cuddling are aphrodisiacs.

Mars in Cancer: haltingly pursues object of affection using a zig-zag, sideways, 2-steps-forward-1-step-backward approach; acts shy and quiet, but will adamantly defend a loved one against outsiders to show interest; providing a shoulder to lean (or cry) on, hugs, and cooking for someone/taking someone out to dinner are foreplay; initiates cuddling-that-hopefully-leads-to-sex sex.

Team Leo

Venus in Leo: believes love should ALWAYS consist of romance, drama, fun, and loyalty; likes people who stand out in socially acceptable ways (e.g., extremely attractive, owns/wears impressive things, speaks dramatically, has unique creative talents, etc.); attracts love by playing up strengths and downplaying weaknesses, and inspiring chivalry; flirts by complimenting; wants consistent (inconsistent doesn’t count!), emotionally-moving displays of appreciation and gratitude in relationships; receiving awe-inspiring gifts and positive, focused attention from an audience (e.g., mirrors, cameras, other people in the room) are aphrodisiacs (Btw, it’s no coincidence that this Venus description is the longest of them all. *wink*).

Mars in Leo: enthusiastically pursues object of affection using a confident, showy approach; acts like he’s the best at whatever, whenever, wherever ALL THE TIME, his gallantly dramatic displays of affection, his flattery, his style of presentation, his…well, just being with HIM in all of his glory is the foreplay, this Mars placement is the rock & roll icon and his lover better act like his groupie or else; initiates look-at-me, I’m-on-stage sex.

Team Virgo

Venus in Virgo: believes love should involve making a commitment to take care of someone else; likes hard-workers who pay attention to details (conversely, is also attracted to flawed, disorganized partners that need fixing); attracts love by handling all of the “dirty work” in a partner’s life; flirts by making analytical observations, self-deprecating humor, or offering self-improvement advice; wants to feel needed and useful in relationships; good hygiene, a neat appearance, and an orderly environment are aphrodisiacs.

Mars in Virgo: methodically pursues object of affection using a logical, organized approach; demonstrates ability to efficiently execute plans and complete tasks correctly to impress; spends a lot of time translating ideas into reality by making sure every seduction detail is just right; initiates technically proficient, nervous-tension-relieving sex.

Team Libra

Venus in Libra: believes love should = 50/50 partnership + 24/7 romance; likes attractive, intelligent, and sociable people; attracts love by being charming company, understanding and attentive; expresses love through consideration and negotiating compromises, and thinking in “us” and “we” terms; f
lirts indiscriminately for attention and popularity; wants equality, romance, and lots of attention in relationships; beauty, making plans as a couple, and the usual romantic clichés (such as rose petals on the bed and long, moonlit walks on the beach) are aphrodisiacs.

Mars in Libra: indirectly pursues object of affection using a classy approach; attracts love by being gracious, intellectually stimulating, and presenting ideas as win-win situations; foreplay is poetry, dinner, dancing, conversation, kissing, tickling, and soft love-bites; initiates romantic, sugar-and-spice “lovemaking” (Someone with Venus in Libra probably coined this term.).

Team Scorpio

Venus in Scorpio: believes love should be passionate, intense, and life-altering; likes to associate with powerful people whose sexuality comes in contradictory layers (e.g., dresses provocatively but is a virgin, looks understated but moves like a stripper in private); expresses love by keeping a mate’s secrets, developing an emotional bond, and not wanting to share the partner’s affection; flirts through seduction; wants to have control and trust in a relationship; a strong sex drive, instant chemistry, intensity, and loyalty are aphrodisiacs.

Mars in Scorpio: obsessively pursues object of desire using a strategic approach; attracts love by getting people to let down their guards, providing emotional therapy, and delivering on unspoken promises of provocative sex; foreplay is continuous, penetrating eye contact, caressing, and anything oral; initiates all-consuming, us-against-the-world sex.

Team Sagittarius

Venus in Sagittarius: believes love should bring happiness, great times, and good luck; likes outgoing, intelligent, independent, adventurous people; attracts love by being friendly, fun-loving, generous, and free-spirited; flirts through friendly conversation and making someone laugh; wants freedom, honesty, few expectations, and undefined commitment in a relationship; visiting exotic places, meeting foreign people, exploring foreign cultures, and different accents are aphrodisiacs.

Mars in Sagittarius: optimistically pursues object of affection using a direct approach; acts like a daredevil, plays practical jokes, or extends and wins challenges to an athletic competition to impress someone; laughter and getting naked is foreplay; initiates spontaneous, outdoorsy, on-vacation sex.

Team Capricorn

Venus in Capricorn: believes love should make people keep their word; likes responsible, successful people who can help with achieving aspirations; attracts love by being dependable and loyal; shows affection by honoring commitments and not leaving the relationship; flirts by getting straight to the point, assessing a potential mate’s value, and showing off their dry wit as they feel more comfortable; wants a solid commitment from the right person in relationships; knowing what’s coming next is an aphrodisiac.

Mars in Capricorn: gradually pursues object of affection using a goal-oriented approach; acts very self-assured, proper, and guarded when trying to impress someone; a seduction game plan, dominant/submissive role-playing, and spanking is foreplay; initiates straight-to-the-nitty-gritty sex.

Team Aquarius

Venus in Aquarius: believes love should be dessert with friendship as the main entrée; likes free-spirited, eccentric people who aren’t afraid to go against the status quo; attracts love by being friendly to everyone; flirts by sharing unusual ideas and opinions; wants a best friend, intellectually stimulating company and emotional detachment in relationships; discussing new, inventive ways to have sex is an aphrodisiac.

Mars in Aquarius: determinedly pursues object of affection using an original approach; differentiates himself by talking about his principles, beliefs, pet causes, and idiosyncratic preferences when attempting to impress; trying something different is foreplay; initiates taboo, off-the-wall sex.

Team Pisces

Venus in Pisces: believes love should be a perfect blend of an intuitive, spiritual bond and romance; likes nonjudgmental, creative people who think and communicate in imaginative ways; attracts love by being infinitely compassionate and seeing the best in people; flirts by developing and acknowledging a special connection; wants empathy, kindness, and sensitivity in relationships; dreamy kisses that cause tingles, foot massages, bubble baths, and mind-altering substances or practices are aphrodisiacs.

Mars in Pisces: secretly pursues object of affection using a passive approach; impresses by knowing the right thing to do or say to make someone feel better, sharing psychic insights, and displaying creative talents; dancing, playing music, discussing dreams/innermost feelings, and generally pleasing the other person is foreplay; initiates pleasant vibes, which lead to transcendental, out-of-body-experiences sex.

Since most people don’t have Venus and Mars in the same sign, I’ll give an example of a mix-and-match Venus and Mars “team.” A man with Venus in Libra and Mars in Virgo would most likely be attracted to a beautiful woman with social graces. So far, his Venus & Mars would work well together in that regard, because both Libra and Virgo value keeping up good appearances and following proper etiquette. However, he might experience indecision over whether to woo her by planning their first date down to the tiniest detail (Virgo Mars) or let her make the plans because he really wants her to have a good time on their date (Libra Venus).

QUESTIONS: Now that we know how Venus and Mars work together, how can we tell the difference between falling in love and falling in lust? How does your Venus and Mars work as a team to help you get what you want in relationships?

Is Tyler Perry Ruining Comedy With His Sagittarian Shtick?

2010-02-05T19:30:00.000-08:00

I was about to pack up my tweets and go on Friday afternoon until a tweet about Tyler Perry from one of my favorite "tweeters" caught my eye:

@drgoddess Not to keep harping on the issue, but I think TP's storylines aren't meant to teach the educated. If you know what I mean... about 1 hour ago from UberTwitter in reply to drgoddess

WriterChanelle

So I ~~butted in~~ replied:

@WriterChanelle @drgoddess *overreading* Good point Chanelle. Educated thinks TP's Captain Obviousing, but it's eye-opening for his audience about 1 hour ago from in reply to WriterChanelle

And just like that, I was sucked into yet another conversation about Tyler Perry. Why this man is such a controversial figure within the black community is a mystery to me. Ok, I'm lying. This is not a mystery. He really does represent the cultural divides within the larger African-American community. We literally project onto him our views of "culture" (including what is and what is not "cultured" entertainment). He also figuratively embodies a myriad of contradictions within our culture: originated from notoriously bourgie/gutter New Orleans yet relocated to traditional/upwardly mobile Deep South Atlanta; physically imposing yet dresses like a woman; was homeless yet now enjoys the lap of luxury; professes to be on a spiritual mission yet mass markets his practical wisdom via religion and bawdy humor.

In other words, there are a lot of contradictions for us to sink our collective teeth into here - enough for endless debate.

But that's not the purpose of this post.

The purpose of this post is to bookmark my epiphany for why some can't stand the sight of this man and some see him as the savior of black entertainment.

Throughout all of the conversations about Tyler Perry that I have witnessed or participated in, one aspect always seems to be missing: discussion of differences in senses of humor. As my Madea is forever reminding me: keep it simple. If we boil Tyler Perry down to his most basic appeal, it's humor. Yes, he's imparting wisdom (debatable how sage it is) and some spiritual messages, but mostly he's selling us a good time. Now whether or not you have a good time watching Tyler Perry's creations really comes down to do you think what he's doing is funny?

I paused my participation in the conversation with DrGoddess and WriterChanelle to research the genesis of (this incarnation of) their conversation, which may be this tweet:

Basic. RT @blacksnob: Tyler is just so obvious. His depictions of good v. evil; religious v. secular are so over-the-top in their construct. about 2 hours ago from TweetDeck

drgoddess

What I find interesting about this is that I wrote the following tweet BEFORE having read the one above:

@WriterChanelle @drgoddess *overreading* Good point Chanelle. Educated thinks TP's Captain Obviousing, but it's eye-opening for his audience about 1 hour ago from Power Twitter in reply to WriterChanelle

Temporarily putting aside all of the cultural ramifications of Tyler Perry's work, the "obviousness" of his humor is really what I think is the difference between those who can appreciate him and those who can't/don't/won't.

Now, while all of this was going on, I was also having a side conversation with another person about our planetary placements. I assume he's somewhat new to astrology because we're discussing the interpretations for our Sun and Moon combinations. As he was telling me about the parts of his personality that AREN'T covered in the Sun/Moon description, I thought about the part of my Sun/Moon interpretation that doesn't fit me: "You are not the idealist, but rather are attracted to the practical dollars and cents issues and personal worldly ambitions." Well, actually I am an idealist. But if you're just looking at my Sun/Moon combo, you wouldn't be able to tell. This inspired me to think about what does make me an idealist...and how that is represented symbolically in my chart.

Don't worry, I won't be analyzing my entire chart here - just pointing out some key aspects that I think are relevant to the discussion.

Sagittarius was rising at the time of my birth, making this sign my Ascendant. So this is the filter with which I view the world. Sagittarius is often described as: over-the-top, bawdy, contradictory, religious, spiritual, secular, idealistic, philosophical, expansive (i.e. think/dream/act/talk big), theoretical, humorous, generous, prone to generalizing.

To make this more clear, the comedian Mo'Nique is a quintessential Sagittarius. Not only is she physically taking up a lot of space but her mouth is big, her voice is booming, her jokes are obnoxious and she's always dreaming big.

Why do I bring up Mo'Nique? Because the same words that Tyler Perry's critics use about him are the same words that I often hear used to describe Mo'Nique.

Now...as you can see, the person who made the first comment is a self-described "black snob". I don't know this person's chart, but I'm going to speculate that Sagittarius is not strongly represented there. Sagittarius is the sign of the "every man". This sign is notorious for mixing it up with all types of people and being culturally unsnobby. A person who is strongly-influenced by Sagittarius (and it's ruler Jupiter) is all about embracing differences, recognizing patterns between people and concepts, and then generalizing to form umbrella theories (read: this is how stereotypes are born).

So we have that going on in my chart in the 1st house of identity. This is my worldview. I naturally see people from an aerial point of view and focus on what we have in common rather than how we differ.

Moving on...

My Rising (or Ascendant) is trine my chart ruler, Jupiter, which is in Leo. Leo is the sign of warm-hearted drama. Jupiter represents my ideals, ethics, how I relate to the world, how I enjoy socializing, my generosity, etc. Hopefully, this is beginning to paint a picture for you: my idea of fun is learning about different cultures and if those lessons are presented to me in an "over-the-top", dramatic fashion using broad strokes, then I'm all for it! Add to this picture that my Mercury (thought processes, communication style) is also in Leo and is united with Jupiter in Leo. So think of what I just wrote and multiply that by at least two since Jupiter expands everything it touches.

Now let's add in some more things that my Sagittarius Ascendant touches: Mars in Gemini in the 6th/7th house ("hey, if others are entertaining and make practical sense, then they're alright with me!"), Saturn in Virgo in the 9th house ("I'm interested in fact-checking other people's beliefs/principles because this helps me form/test my own beliefs/principles.") and North Node in Virgo ("My purpose in life is to find my inspiration and then inspire others. I must do this as a service to humanity.").

How does this apply to my view of Tyler Perry's work? I see the message/purpose in his work. I see that, in his exaggerated performances, he is also living out his Sun in Virgo purpose, which is to purify the world through information. In the middle of his Sagittarian "cooning" and "buffoonery", he throws his Virgo curveballs - advice based on wisdom that he has gathered from his personal experiences, people around him and people that precede him (see his real-life "Madea"). And his advice, while given with humor, always makes good practical sense (earthy Virgo!).

With my Neptune in Sagittarius in my 1st house, I'm very familiar with people projecting their internal concepts onto my "blank screen". To them, I become whatever they imagine me to be - wise truth-seeker with an old soul, intellectual snob full of broad generalizations, austere, all play and no work, etc. All of these are true and, yet, none of them are true. (One look at the descriptions that people have of me on Twitter demonstrates what I mean about people's vastly different perceptions of me - some of them far removed from reality.)

Some people who know me from limited interactions are shocked to find out that I enjoy Tyler Perry's work.
I can only guess as to why this would shock them...To my mind, the way I live my life is not that of a snob. Am I intellectually proud? Yes! (How can I not be with Mercury-Jupiter conjunction in Leo?). But I am not one to perch myself up on a pedestal away from people (for too long). Being separate from people is not my idea of fun (see my social planets in Gemini, Sagittarius and Leo).

As we can see from the tweet above, self-described snobs do not enjoy Tyler Perry productions.

This is a lightbulb moment for me because I used to just cover all (or most) of Tyler Perry's critics with the same "hater" blanket (hello Sagittarius Rising!). Even when they protested that it's a simple matter of taste, I called bullshiggity on that defense/explanation. While I do still think that many struggling creative types are jealous of Tyler Perry's financial, if not critical, success, I now see that some people really just don't find a 6'5'' man in a dress waving around a pistol as funny. They desire more nuance in the characters, plots, songs, etc. Never mind that Tyler Perry's background is in theatre, a format that is characterized by exaggerated performances. What he's doing is translating and transferring that background to other "smaller" formats (film, TV) without making many adjustments. Hence, the cartoonish vibe.

I write that to illustrate that I do understand his critics' point of view. However, I also understand exactly where Tyler Perry is coming from with his over-the-top self.

Mental tangent: I wonder if he also has a Sagittarius Asc. He certainly looks the part: tall, attractive in a goofy way (see Will Smith and his ears), loves to make people laugh, fondness for exaggerated humor, always smiling or finding humor in situations that aren't necessarily funny, etc.

I suspect that those who can't see the humor in Tyler Perry's works have either a.) strong Capricorn or b.) strong Saturn in their birth charts:

"Why can't he take a more serious approach to these issues?"
"Does it have to be so damn silly?"
"He can't say the same thing wearing man's clothes?"
"Why not just get a woman to play the part of Madea? Black men have enough to worry about without this fool running around in a dress!"

Sounds pretty Saturnian to me.

Anyone care to help me test this hypothesis (so I can turn it into a nice, broad Sagittarian theory about humanity :-P)?

To all of this, I say use Tyler as an example of how to relaaaaax, stop fussing over the details (Sun in Virgo style) and enjoy the big picture - Sagittarius style.

*Sagittarius AstroFact: Your favorite comedian probably has their Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus or Mars in Sagittarius. Examples: Richard Pryor, Jon Stewart, Woody Allen, Margaret Cho, Sarah Silverman. Think of what they all have in common: unafraid to speak their truths, offensive humor.

**Side-note: Ok, people, after finishing this post, I researched Tyler Perry's birth info and...he has Mars in Sagittarius. Ding Ding! I don't know his birth time but I'd love to see if my musings about his Asc. are true. Interesting tidbit: His business partner, Oprah Winfrey, has her Moon in Sagittarius, which partially explains her "every woman" appeal and Tyler Perry's work appealing to her funny bone and fetish for inspirational messages. Oprah no doubt encourages Tyler not to limit himself with small thinking (Virgo), to reach higher, imagine more, stretch his boundaries. With Oprah, Tyler decided to go out of his comfort zone (Virgo) and try producing someone else's work (Lee Daniels' Precious). Considering the excellent box office, critical success, Oscar nominations, and Golden Globe award win, I'd say this big gamble (Sagittarius) paid off for everyone involved. Also of note, they both have trouble controlling their waistlines (a very Sagittarian-Jupiter issue).

QUESTIONS: What tickles your funny bone? What do you think of Tyler Perry's brand of slapstick humor? Are Sagittarians ruining our culture with their broad, offensive contributions to society? In what sign(s) is your Mercury, Mars and Jupiter located, and how does that influence your sense of humor?

New to astrology? Find out where your Mercury, Mars and Jupiter are located here.

In case you're interested in the conversation that sparked this post, see here.

Leave it to a Sagittarius to go from one extreme to the other in terms of giving dramatic performances. Compare Monique's stand-up comedy with her Golden Globe award-winning performance in "Precious" (Hmm, I wonder what attracted Oprah and Tyler to Mo'Nique??). She's loud but I'm laughing.

Warning: turn down your volume & graphic language

(I need a proofreader.)

Open Letter to Virgos: We Have a Problem

2010-02-04T20:13:00.000-08:00

Dear Virgos,

I'm interrupting the post I'm working on about Geminis and Pisceans in order to address my issue with you, the mutable sign that alternately annoys and challenges me to no end.

A couple weeks ago, I wrote about reducing my complaints because:

1. It's a temporary fix to a problem.
2. It's contagious.

But after reading this post about people who complain without plans to change their situation, I decided to write about my beef with you and then let it go message-in-a-bottle-style - hopefully to never revisit it again.

Excerpt from my comment:

I was just thinking this a couple days ago when a friend called me and started the conversation with "I've talked about this with So and So but it's still bothering me..." That was a red flag that this is about to be an unproductive venting session. Because I'm sure that So and So had some good suggestions and/or woo-woo available before this problem landed on my phone.

Sometimes I think people manufacture problems to discuss because they don't want to discuss the REAL problem. Because the manufactured problem can't really be the problem. It's so small and easily fixable.

I love how you make it clear that you're willing to help build and execute a plan for CHANGE (i.e. brainstorming a solution) rather than be someone's free therapist.

I now charge for my services after the first free session. :)

Solution: Maybe our friends need a blog as an emotional outlet.

The friend on my mind when I wrote that comment? A Virgo. She called me to discuss a problem at work. Her co-worker doesn't like her. This co-worker has no power over her, has no potential to gain power over her in the future, and has no influence with anyone who currently has power over her. So...this problem isn't major by the standards of threatening her job security. She's basically dealing with a hater. Apparently, for the first time in her life (which is totally understandable, because she's the sweetest person on the face of this earth).

So after figuring out that this is not a life-or-job-threatening problem, I told her that I have 30 minutes to talk.

Translation: You have 30 minutes' worth of empathy/woo-woo/problem-solving from me before my mind glazes over and the cryptic, pithy part of my personality takes over. In other words, if we're still talking about the same issue after 30 minutes, my patience will have worn thin and you're gonna start hearing some hard truths about this situation.

I've known this friend for over 10 years and am very familiar with her way of processing her emotions (Moon in Capricorn trine Mercury in Virgo). She must talk her feelings out. She knows this. I know this. Her husband knows this. Her sister knows this. Everyone who knows her knows this. She's a sweetheart who always lends us a compassionate ear so we all try to share the burden of hearing her process her feelings ad nauseum.

But it's so freaking annoying listening to someone analyze the minutiae of a problem from here to Sunday and back again. I don't WANT to be annoyed but the truth is that I AM annoyed by this habit.

She is not the only Virgo in my life that does this.

I have a long list - *unrolling a scroll* - that includes, but is not limited to: 4 aunts, a stepmother, close friends, acquaintances, former managers, co-workers.

And this is not counting the people in my life who have prominent Virgo in their charts via a strongly placed planet in Virgo or house ruled by Virgo/Mercury.

The endless analysis is the more endearing Virgoan quality.

Let's talk about the less endearing Virgo quality: your stalkerific tendencies.

Since I have quite a few Virgo stalkers, let's just call the first one Virgo Stalker 1.

I met Virgo Stalker 1 in 1998 through a mutual Sagittarius (aka Sagittarius Stalker 1) friend. Virgo Stalker 1 developed a crush on me. I did not feel the same way about him but I was fond of him in a non-romantic way. I thought we were developing a nice platonic friendship. Little did naive me know at the time that a Virgo man's form of seduction is becoming the best straight-gay friend a woman can have: We shopped. We dined. We attended cultural events. We took vacations. A lovely time was had by all.

Until one day, three years into this platonic groove, Virgo Stalker 1 decided to take our friendship to the next level by molesting me in my sleep (after he picked me up from the airport and I laid my jet-lagged body down at his place in the middle of the early a.m. for a catnap before going home). When I woke up and realized what he was doing, I immediately told him to take me to my car (which was parked in a longterm garage). I did not talk to him during the car ride (conserving my energy in case I had to jump out of the car or beat his ass) even though he peppered me with constant apologies and "are you mad at me's?".

That was eight years ago.

Throughout those eight years since The Incident, he has persistently contacted me using every digital form that he can find. A few years ago, he got super proactively stalkerific and invited himself to a BBQ thrown by my then-boyfriend. How did he find out about this BBQ that was held over 100 MILES away from where he lives? From our mutual Sagittarius Stalker 1 friend. So he has accomplices. Virgo Stalker 1 tried to get me to talk to him at the park in front of friends and family after I made it extremely clear to him many times that we are no longer friends. So he knows how I feel and just ignores my feelings and the boundaries I set for our dissolved friendship. A HUGE no-no to me (and the law of the state that I currently reside in ).

To short-cut this story, let's just fast forward through all of Virgo Stalker 1's many attempts to contact me to his most recent attempt via Facebook - the stalker's handiest accessory:

Hello Jara hope you are doing fine I just wanted to say hi and see if you would like to have lunch with my wife my little girl and I. I told my wife a lot about you and how you were the best friend I ever had. I have always said maybe if I may never find a real friend like you in my life time just wanted you to know that.

Virgo Stalker 1

Um...no, I don't think you want me to have lunch with you, your wife and little girl. I think this man has forgotten that I can be loose-lipped when angry. We wouldn't want your wife knowing about how you broke the law with me (and several other women from what I hear), now would we? I'm two messages away from calling law enforcement on him.

Virgo Stalker 1 was my first stalker (as an adult). But he sure wasn't the last. Since him, I've had several others (who are no doubt lurking/reading this now). And you know what they all have in common? If you answered "a few planets in Virgo", then you would be correct!

I can deal with your endless, annoying analysis of the smallest of details, Virgo. But I cannot deal with your obsessive reaction to me breaking up our acquaintanceship/friendship/relationship.

I admit that once I've had enough of someone, I abruptly cut him or her off like any self-respecting, Scorpio-influenced person can do. But I believe in laying my cards on the table as the first step to repair a damaged relationship. You are much too observant not to have noticed this as the warning that it is.

So why do you act surprised (and innocent) when I ignore you?

Trust me, being ignored is much better than the alternative, Virgo stalkers.

For your sake, I hope that you can learn to get over me not liking you and wanting as much distance between us as possible.

Or else it will get real ugly, real fast.

To the endearingly sweet yet slightly neurotic Virgos: call/text/email/tweet/update me.

You get 30 minutes.

Sincerely,

Jara

QUESTIONS: Am I way off on Virgo's stalker tendencies? Do you have a Virgo stalker? Share your experiences (and tips to get rid of them). If you're a reformed Virgo stalker, what keeps you from obsessing over the objects of your fascination? Or if you're reading this from a prison library, have you learned your lesson?

New to astrology? Learn how to spot a Virgo , how to spot an insane Virgo and how to break up with a Virgo.

It must be an epidemic: another Virgo Stalker story.

Virgo Celebrities I Love/Think Are Sexy: Michael Jackson, Idris Elba, Blair Underwood, Paul Walker, Jr., Beyonce, Sanaa Lathan.

Check out this video of Virgos, scored to "Virgo" by Virgo rappers Doug E. Fresh, Nas and Ludacris.

Random Astrology Chat: The Astrology of Michael Jackson

2010-01-31T14:39:00.000-08:00

Today is unofficially Michael Jackson Day. Leading up to the special 3-D tribute to the King of Pop at the Grammy's tonight at 8/7 c, super-fans @EbonyStarr55 and yours truly, @Jazzzyone, are discussing all things Michael Jackson - with an astrological twist! All levels of knowledge are welcome.

Feel free to join the conversation (or just lurk) by scrolling to the bottom of this page and entering in a nickname. No password required.

See you there!

Note: Since Michael Jackson's birth time is in dispute, this makes analyzing his birth chart a bit difficult. But we do know that the King of Pop was born on August 29, 1958 in Gary, Indiana.

Below are two possible birth charts.

Gemini Rising

Pisces Rising

Gemini & Leo Make Good Political Bedfellows: President Obama's Q&A Session With the GOP

2010-01-31T10:38:00.000-08:00

Gemini: "I love you!" Leo: "No, I love you MORE!"

Honestly, I wasn't planning on watching President Obama's Q&A session with the House GOP.

Just yesterday, my mind was made up that there is no worth in taking in anymore bullshiggity from the RepubliCons.

But after hearing such glowing reviews from a wide spectrum of people, I changed my mind.

My mind (and speech patterns) is represented by Mercury in Leo:
Sees the big picture. Takes things personally. Makes things personal. Proud of its own ideas. Speaks dramatically. Argues and advocates passionately. Good at making executive decisions. Honorable. Stubborn. Slow to form and change opinions. Appreciates drama (in all of its meanings).

And my Mercury is conjunct Jupiter in Leo, so we have a case of all the above being true times two (maybe even three). Jupiter in Leo prides itself on acting from a righteous, above-the-board standpoint. Can exaggerate the pride in whatever it touches. Those of us with Jupiter in Leo follow the established rules. We demand respect (after working hard to earn it). We give respect (after we deem the person worthy of our respect).

My Mars is in Gemini, which is sextile my Mercury and Jupiter in Leo. As we know, Gemini speeds up anything it touches. It adds more perspectives. Makes the native more inquisitive, more willing to gain information through socializing. Mercury in Leo's tendency to mull over information and form opinions in a deliberate manner now makes up its mind more quickly. Mercury in Leo cares about its ideas (and other people's ideas about its ideas). Mars in Gemini gets bored by itself and obsessively seeks out others' input. Mercury in Leo: "What do I think about this? How does this affect me?" Planets in Gemini: "How does this affect me, you, him, her, them, us?" And so on.

Standing next to my Mars in Gemini is my Venus in Gemini. Not only do I routinely seek out others' input (Mars in the 6th house) but I genuinely enjoy other people's input (Venus in the 7th house); the caveat being that the other person's input isn't presented in a boring, dry fashion or lacks common sense.

And I have these two planets to thank for changing my mind about watching this Q&A drama. There's nothing Gemini enjoys more than an interesting (read: zingy, fast-paced) spectacle!

I first pressed play in the wee hours this morning. And promptly fell asleep to the melodious sounds of a good speech (ah, Venus in Gemini heaven).

So now I'm up finishing where I left off.

After hearing POTUS address the group with 20 minutes of mission statement for policymaking, he's now answering their "questions" (translation: policy arguments dressed up as questions for the benefit of the viewing audience). From the word "go", anyone with slight political knowledge can recognize this entire production as the theater that it is. The fact that cameras are even present (at Obama's request) is because the American people need to see the fakery that is the Congress - particularly the congressmembers that are hellbent on obstructing helpful policy. It's a sad, necessary production because too many Americans actually believe the GOP's "populist" lies that they're trying to help but Dictator Obama won't listen.

Well, this Q&A session is added proof in the national politics pudding.

So far, I've heard three "questions". The format is as follows: GOP presents false information, then phrases the last sentence as a question along the lines of "Now isn't that reasonable?" As the daughter and step-daughter of two attorneys, I have been on the receiving end of many similar "questions". I recognize this as a classic lawyer move. There's a question mark but what they're really saying is: "Let me tell you (and the judge and jury) what I want to be entered into record, witness, then pretend that I'm asking you a question because this is supposed to be a question."

Trust me, it's no coincidence that most members of Congress are attorneys. Their aptitude at twisting language is a natural gift and honed skill. One look at the LSATs will tell you that these people know what they're doing every time they open their mouths.

As I watch the back-and-forth, I'm reminded of President Obama's chart. More specifically, the Gemini and Leo interacting in Obama's chart. Not only does Gemini see this strategy coming from a mile away, but Leo is more than ready to respond to the challenge (and hits to the ego). What can I say? Like recognizes like.

Like me, President Obama has Mercury in Leo. Also like me, he has more than one planet in Leo. He has THREE planets in Leo, including his Sun and Uranus (his North Node is also in Leo). So this is a very Leo-ish man, with all of Leo's strengths and challenges (one of which being a tendency to be a "benevolent dictator", to quote Leo rising George W. Bush). Fortunately for Obama (and us), Leo's opposite sign - Aquarius - is also well-represented in his chart to give him some balance.

His Mercury in Leo is sextile his Gemini Moon. So, again like me, we have a potentially gridlocked mind loosened and sped up by a planet in Gemini. Moon in Gemini natives' default position is to seek out others' opinions and ideas. Then they process this new information quickly, sometimes by jumping to conclusions about what the other person means before getting all of the facts in. Not exactly what we're looking for in a leader responsible for making strategic executive decisions that have far-reaching consequences, right?

However, in Obama's case, he also has Mercury in Leo opposing Jupiter and Saturn in Capricorn. Planets in Capricorn act slowly, methodically, strategically, always with an eye on how the present (and past) will affect the future. So while Obama is listening to the GOP congressmember's question, you better believe he has already figured out the angle of the question, flipped it around a few times, weighed his responses and is busy formulating his answer...all before the long-winded congressman even gets to the question mark.

Tip: Make sure to check your debate opponent's chart for prominent planets in Gemini and a weighty Saturn before the debate. It'll save you a lot of wasted time looking foolish.

Obama's 3rd house ruler (Venus) is in his 5th house of pleasure (ruled by Mercury). I interpret this to reinforce the description of a person who seeks out more information to mull over as a pleasurable experience (which is akin to having Venus in Gemini in the 7th house). And he's charming in his fact-finding expeditions with this "neighbors". To add to this picture, his 4th house Moon in Gemini is trine his 12th house Jupiter-Saturn conjunction in Capricorn. He was taught from an early age (most likely by his mother - the 4th house parent) that inquisitiveness is the natural way to resolve problems.

As does his planets in Capricorn, my Saturn in Virgo slows down my planets in Gemini. While we both have planets in Gemini speeding up our mental processing, we also have planets in earthy signs (particularly Saturn) that remind our Gemini planets not to jump to conclusions without verification (a Gemini hobby). Obama's Saturn in Capricorn makes him hypersensitive about his responsibilities. He wants to make damn sure that he isn't getting blamed for things not under his umbrella, which means he probably came to this session on a mission to preserve his reputation. His Mars in Virgo (trine his planets in Capricorn) is marching into battle armed with truthful data on his side. [Notice how many times he refers to "just stating the facts" or "the [data, experts, etc.] back this up" in his rebuttal speeches.]

My Saturn in Virgo is also concerned with information being factual, correct, true and dedicates itself to doing the research to find out. I see and appreciate President Obama's mission. While my Gemini and Leo planets are watching this for pure entertainment value, my Saturn in Virgo is filtering the GOP's questions and Obama's answers through my bullshit meter (supported by my Scorpio Moon gauging the emotional undercurrents of the situation).

For example, the very first question asked of President Obama comes from slick Rep. Mike Pence (R-Indiana, Muncie, Anderson, Richmond). His question amounts to "Your administration claimed that passing the Economic Recovery Stimulus would hold the then-8% unemployment rate steady, but the unemployment rate is now at 10%, which is all your fault. So you understand why we don't want to agree to anything else you propose, right? And by the way, I have a letter from this poor child suffering from a household with unemployed parents. He thinks you suck, too. What do you say to that?"

Of course, I'm paraphrasing (and dramatizing) but that's the gist of the question.

While listening to this (extremely long-winded) question, I had time to think of a response to the ~~insanity~~ ~~lies~~ ~~distortions of truth~~ skewed "facts" presented. This is the typical type of question/talking point that gets bandied about on political pundit shows like "Meet the Press", Rachel Maddow, Ed Schultz, Faux News, etc. and drives me absolutely crazy. Why? Because the answer to this question is very obvious, so it doesn't take a genius to come up with it. Yet these degreed pundits rarely ever come up with the obvious answer! It's despicable political theater at its worst - to grab ratings by being "controversial" (translation: deliberately misleading). But that's another rant for another day.

President Obama stepped to the plate to hit the curve ball - first with a light-on-his-feet smooth Gemini Moon response, then with his fact-checker Mars in Virgo force and accuracy: "We lost x amount of jobs in December (the month before I was sworn in), in January (the month I was sworn in) and in February (the month after I was sworn in but before any of my policies went into effect) that all contributed to our current 10% rate. This is my responsibility how?" Oh I did a happy dance. In my mind.

And then I went to pop some popcorn to enjoy the rest of the show..er...serious Q&A.

Now I'm 30 minutes in and it's just as good as I was told. My Leo planets, Gemini planets and my Mars in Saturn are all completely satisfied. A true rarity, let me tell ya.

So I write this post before the event is over to document my astrological musings before I forget (charge it to my planets in Gemini).

It's nice to have an intelligent, engaging, relatively bullshiggity-free president standing behind the podium. For a change.

Then again, there's a distinct possibility that I could be projecting my Gemini, Leo and lone earthy planet onto President Obama. I don't think so...

But I'm open to your interpretations. ;-)

Do you or anyone else you know have planets in Gemini or Leo? How do they react to each other? Have you seen this Q&A session? What did you notice about the interactions between President Obama and the GOP members of the House?

In case you missed it, here's the full footage of the back-and-forth:

Part 1 (Includes POTUS' pre-Q&A speech)

Part 2 (starts @ the end of POTUS' speech and beginning of the Q&A)

Visit C-Span to view even more videos from the GOP retreat and hear President Obama's State of the Union address.

Obama's Saturnian State of the Union Address (2010)

2010-01-28T17:10:00.000-08:00

Don't make me grab a switch!

Last night, President Obama gave his first State of the Union address. While listening to it again this morning, I was struck by the unmistakable Daddy tone he took with the other two branches of U.S. Federal power. This is what many have been eagerly anticipating from him. A verbal smackdown for the fools holding this country back. One look at his Saturn-heavy chart told me that he had this in him all along. Saturn gives enough rope to either hang ourselves or save ourselves. And that's President Obama's modus operandi with his co-workers in Congress and on the U.S. Supreme Court.

I have been reluctant to publicly analyze or interpret President Obama's chart because of my pro-Obama bias. However, after reading so many other astrologers' crackpot interpretations (I refuse to link to them here) that are colored by a strong anti-Obama bias, I figured that I should toss my hat in the ring just to add some more perspective to this leader who we all know and *ahem* most of us support. Even though I support President Obama's agenda, I believe I'm qualified to view him rationally and with a balanced point of view (charge it to my Mercury-ruled 7th and 10th houses and Libra-ruled 11th house).

While reading or doing a consultation with someone, I often get these flashes of insight (charge it to my connected 3rd, 8th, 9th and 12th houses) that open up a whole new vista into someone's chart. I just completed my first Saturn Return (feeling grown!) and am currently reading "12 Faces of Saturn: Your Guardian Angel Planet", so Saturn has been on my mind for awhile. Last night was no different.

Given new information and insight, I like to revisit people's charts to see if I see what I saw in a new light. So here we go.

Below is President Obama's natal chart with transits on January 27, 2010.
(Source: Barack Obama's birth certificate)

Note: Though they won't be analyzed in depth here, I'm including President Obama's chart with transits for those who like to do this type of comparisons. Note that transit Saturn in Libra is retrograde and passing through Obama's 8th house of other people's resources, shared power, healing, death, taxes, sex - all subjects that he touched on in his address to urge everyone to strive towards a better balance of power. :) Transit Mercury and Pluto in Capricorn are in his 11th house of social conscience, collective aspirations and forward-thinking/planning. Transit Sun, Venus, Chiron and Neptune are in Aquarius in Obama's 12th house of universal conscience and 1st house of personal identity. When I saw this, I knew that his address would strike the right note and be well-received by most. The stars were truly aligned for him last night.

Before digging into the State of the Union, let's first quickly take a look at the condition of Obama's natal Saturn:

12th house Saturn in it's natural home of Capricorn

Trine 4th house Gemini Moon

Opposed 6th house Mercury in Leo

Trine 7th house Mars in Virgo

Conjunct 12th house Jupiter in Capricorn

Semi-square 7th house Uranus in Leo

Sextile MC in Scorpio

11th house is co-ruled by Saturn/Capricorn

12th house is ruled by Saturn/Capricorn

His sense of purpose (and possible liability) is attached to his ability and willingness to accept personal responsibility for his actions. He studies first, speaks later. Possibly worries about appearing stupid, superficial, glib, narrow-minded, egocentric. Words carry great emotional weight with him. He's aware of the effect his words have on others, and is able to stand in the place of his audience when crafting and delivering a message. He's a longterm, strategic thinker/planner. Favors tried-and-true solutions and may view untested ideas as too radical and far-fetched. Concerned with practical application rather than creative possibilities. Ultimate team-player. Naturally assumes leadership role even while working with partners. Wields power secretly. Has powerful friends and enemies in high places. Allies see him as honorable, reliable, stubborn, charismatic. Enemies see him as an arrogant, egocentric, seductive radical tyrant. Distinct possibility of being/playing the role of a scapegoat. If he doesn't use his power wisely and responsibly, there's a good chance of a huge fall from grace. I believe he's aware of this potential.

Moving on to his State of the Union address...

The overall feeling I got from it was that Daddy is not happy. Throughout the hour-long speech, Obama alternated between Tolerant Fun Dad, Disapproving Dad and King of the Hill.

He gave historical context for our current dire situation >> Saturn.

He listed America's challenges and some of his proudest accomplishments thus far >> Saturn.

He urged his co-workers to be accountable for their irresponsible decisions and petty bickering and demanding that they honor the oaths they made to serve the American public >> Saturn.

He rewarded the House with praise for passing bills >> Saturn.

He admonished the Senate for their stalling tactics >> Saturn.

"Now, yesterday, the Senate blocked a bill that would have created this commission. So I'll issue an executive order that will allow us to go forward, because I refuse to pass this problem on to another generation of Americans. (Applause.) And when the vote comes tomorrow, the Senate should restore the pay-as-you-go law that was a big reason for why we had record surpluses in the 1990s. (Applause.)"

I think it's fair to say that the U.S. Senate is the obstruction to the progression of Obama's agenda through Congress, represented natally in his chart by Capricorn Saturn in 12th house and by transit Capricorn in Pluto in his 11th house.

Although with deference, he expressed his strong disappointment in the U.S. Supreme Court's recent decision regarding lifting campaign finance regulations for corporations >> Saturn.

And just in case anyone thought to argue with his plans for exercising his veto power, he made it clear that it is now their turn to "accept [his] discipline" >> Saturn!

When he said that, everyone in the pizzeria where I watched the address made a whoa-face. Then I had flashbacks to my childhood of angrily yanked belts >> Saturn.

Yes, President Obama ran on change. But Obama is no radical. Those who are looking for someone whose idea of "change" is overthrowing an entire system need to look elsewhere. Or, better yet, move elsewhere. He is no anarchist, by any means. His mentioning of offshore drilling, nuclear proliferation and "coal energy" is proof that he likes to tread familiar ground. With all of that Saturn energy in his chart, Obama's definition of change is incremental steps that he can use as benchmarks and test for workability (Mars in Virgo) that, over time (Saturn in Capricorn), will lead to "big" fundamental and systemic change (Jupiter in Capricorn). In the long-run. His view that longterm trumps shortterm cannot be overly emphasized here.

Saturn is the old man of the zodiac. He's wise but walks with a limp and a cane. Saturn in an earth sign, particularly Capricorn, will not be rushed into making foolish mistakes. Nothing short of the passage of time and solid proof that his plans do or do not work will change Obama's mind or gameplan.

Imagine the captain of the Titanic who has control over, and responsibility for, this giant, bulky mass of steel that's heading straight towards an iceburg. Everyone on board has put their faith in the belief of the "unsinkable Titanic". What type of skills do you need to avoid hitting the iceburg that may cause thousands of deaths? Now imagine the Titanic has just hit the iceburg. The captain now realizes too late that the unthinkable has happened - the Titanic is not only sinking but sinking faster than he ever dreamed possible. He gets thrown overboard by the passengers who realize that they've been sold only a bill of goods. Enter the First Mate with a Jupiter-Saturn conjunction in Capricorn in the 12th house who now becomes captain. He feels that it's his spiritual and karmic duty to make the most of this now-sinking hunk of disaster.

Meet our new captain - President Obama.

Now imagine you are the new captain. What would you do?

Some more President Saturn quotes from last night:

"Our Constitution declares that from time to time, the President shall give to Congress information about the state of our union. For 220 years, our leaders have fulfilled this duty."

"And despite all our divisions and disagreements, our hesitations and our fears, America prevailed because we chose to move forward as one nation, as one people.
Again, we are tested. And again, we must answer history's call."

"So I know the anxieties that are out there right now. They're not new. These struggles are the reason I ran for President."

"So we face big and difficult challenges. And what the American people hope -– what they deserve -– is for all of us, Democrats and Republicans, to work through our differences; to overcome the numbing weight of our politics."

Our most urgent task upon taking office was to shore up the same banks that helped cause this crisis. It was not easy to do. And if there's one thing that has unified Democrats and Republicans, and everybody in between, it's that we all hated the bank bailout. I hated it -- (applause.) I hated it. You hated it. It was about as popular as a root canal. (Laughter.)

To recover the rest, I've proposed a fee on the biggest banks.

Now, the true engine of job creation in this country will always be America's businesses. (Applause.) But government can create the conditions necessary for businesses to expand and hire more workers.

So tonight, I'm proposing that we take $30 billion of the money Wall Street banks have repaid and use it to help community banks give small businesses the credit they need to stay afloat. (Applause.) I'm also proposing a new small business tax credit..

From the day I took office, I've been told that addressing our larger challenges is too ambitious; such an effort would be too contentious. I've been told that our political system is too gridlocked, and that we should just put things on hold for a while.

For those who make these claims, I have one simple question: How long should we wait? How long should America put its future on hold? (Applause.) You see, Washington has been telling us to wait for decades, even as the problems have grown worse. Meanwhile, China is not waiting to revamp its economy. Germany is not waiting. India is not waiting. These nations -- they're not standing still. These nations aren't playing for second place. They're putting more emphasis on math and science. They're rebuilding their infrastructure. They're making serious investments in clean energy because they want those jobs. Well, I do not accept second place for the United States of America. (Applause.)"
- 12th house Saturn in Capricorn semisquare 7th house Uranus in Leo is comparing his country to other countries (his 7th house peers) and wants to be the winner! This, of course, appeals to America's egocentricity and ethnocentricity. We sure do love our leaders with strong Leo influence, don't we?

And by the way, it's time for colleges and universities to get serious about cutting their own costs -– (applause) -- because they, too, have a responsibility to help solve this problem.

I know there have been questions about whether we can afford such changes in a tough economy. I know that there are those who disagree with the overwhelming scientific evidence on climate change. But here's the thing -- even if you doubt the evidence, providing incentives for energy-efficiency and clean energy are the right thing to do for our future -– because the nation that leads the clean energy economy will be the nation that leads the global economy. And America must be that nation. (Applause.)

Re: Health insurance reform:
Now, let's clear a few things up. (Laughter.) I didn't choose to tackle this issue to get some legislative victory under my belt. And by now it should be fairly obvious that I didn't take on health care because it was good politics. (Laughter.) I took on health care because of the stories I've heard from Americans with preexisting conditions whose lives depend on getting coverage; patients who've been denied coverage; families –- even those with insurance -– who are just one illness away from financial ruin.

But I also know this problem is not going away. By the time I'm finished speaking tonight, more Americans will have lost their health insurance.

And by the way, I want to acknowledge our First Lady, Michelle Obama, who this year is creating a national movement to tackle the epidemic of childhood obesity and make kids healthier. (Applause.) Thank you. She gets embarrassed. (Laughter.)
- high praise for his lovely Saturn-ruled wife, Sun Capricorn Michelle Obama, who he affectionately refers to as his "Rock".

So, as temperatures cool, I want everyone to take another look at the plan we've proposed.

This week, I'll be addressing a meeting of the House Republicans. I'd like to begin monthly meetings with both Democratic and Republican leadership. I know you can't wait. (Laughter.)

Like any cash-strapped family, we will work within a budget to invest in what we need and sacrifice what we don't. And if I have to enforce this discipline by veto, I will. (Applause.)

But I also know this: If people had made that decision 50 years ago, or 100 years ago, or 200 years ago, we wouldn't be here tonight. The only reason we are here is because generations of Americans were unafraid to do what was hard; to do what was needed even when success was uncertain; to do what it took to keep the dream of this nation alive for their children and their grandchildren.

Our administration has had some political setbacks this year, and some of them were deserved.

Unfortunately, too many of our citizens have lost faith that our biggest institutions -– our corporations, our media, and, yes, our government –- still reflect these same values. Each of these institutions are full of honorable men and women doing important work that helps our country prosper. But each time a CEO rewards himself for failure, or a banker puts the rest of us at risk for his own selfish gain, people's doubts grow. Each time lobbyists game the system or politicians tear each other down instead of lifting this country up, we lose faith. The more that TV pundits reduce serious debates to silly arguments, big issues into sound bites, our citizens turn away.
No wonder there's so much cynicism out there. No wonder there's so much disappointment.

But what frustrates the American people is a Washington where every day is Election Day. We can't wage a perpetual campaign where the only goal is to see who can get the most embarrassing headlines about the other side -– a belief that if you lose, I win. Neither party should delay or obstruct every single bill just because they can. The confirmation of -- (applause) -- I'm speaking to both parties now. The confirmation of well-qualified public servants shouldn't be held hostage to the pet projects or grudges of a few individual senators. (Applause.)

But remember this –- I never suggested that change would be easy, or that I could do it alone. Democracy in a nation of 300 million people can be noisy and messy and complicated. And when you try to do big things and make big changes, it stirs passions and controversy. That's just how it is.
Those of us in public office can respond to this reality by playing it safe and avoid telling hard truths and pointing fingers. We can do what's necessary to keep our poll numbers high, and get through the next election instead of doing what's best for the next generation.

The spirit that has sustained this nation for more than two centuries lives on in you, its people. We have finished a difficult year. We have come through a difficult decade. But a new year has come. A new decade stretches before us. We don't quit. I don't quit. (Applause.) Let's seize this moment -- to start anew, to carry the dream forward, and to strengthen our union once more. (Applause.)
Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the United States of America. (Applause.)

Full text of speech as delivered.

Update: More than 48 million of us watched the address last night. Now it's to time to contact your representative in Congress (call, email, tweet) to make sure they don't fall asleep at the wheel.

Make the one-step call here.

Here's President Obama's full State of the Union address:

Want to learn more about Saturn? Click here.

A Review of "12 Faces of Saturn: Your Guardian Angel Planet"

2010-01-28T00:09:00.000-08:00

Twelve Faces of Saturn: Your Guardian Angel Planet by Bill Tierney

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This book is written by one of my favorite astrological authors. I'm learning about my fears, challenges, "guardian angel", sense of responsibility, "God principle" - all represented by Saturn. What I find most fascinating is how we may inherit our parents' teachings, fears, karma, challenges, etc. through the condition of our Saturn. I see similarities between my chart and my parents' charts. Still testing my hypothesis, though...

While reading about Saturn in the 9th house, a lightbulb switched on over my head. Our Saturn also explains why some of us are law-abiding citizens v. anarchists, activists with a purpose v. rebels without a cause, self-employed v. team player, etc.

I recommend this book to those who are interested in working past the obstacles in their lives. This book is proof that our greatest enemy and asset is ourselves.

Bill Tierney also wrote my favorite astrology book for beginners and intermediate students.

View all my reviews >>

Have you read this book? What do you think?

Find out more about your Saturn here.

Related Posts
Saturn in Virgo Journey to a Complaint-Free World

Saturn in Virgo Journey to a Complaint-Free World

2010-01-18T06:26:00.000-08:00

“A little less complaint and whining, and a little more dogged work and manly striving, would do us more credit than a thousand civil rights bills.”~ W. E. B. Du Bois

In honor of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday, I'm restarting my personal mission to remain complaint-free for at least a week. That's right. An entire week of no complaining. Not even for entertainment purposes.

A couple years ago around this time, I saw a video from one of my (then) favorite astrologers about her attempts to join a Complaint-Free World. At the time, transit Saturn in Virgo returned to its original position at the time of my birth - yep, my first Saturn Return. With its persistent belief that perfection is within its grasp, Virgo is one of the most idealistic signs of the zodiac. Since nothing in life is perfect, Virgo's busy work is finding (and, in its higher state, fixing) flaws. What do we do when reality doesn't match up to our ideals? We complain!

Saturn is the grumpy taskmaster of the Universe. Add Virgo to the mix and we get the classic case of a chronic complainer. No one can out-bitch Saturn in Virgo. If Virgo could get paid per worry and complaint, all of us with Saturn in Virgo would be billionaires.

So Elsa's description of an initiative to rid the world of complaints intrigued me (when not too busy complaining about others, Saturn in Virgo is all about the dogged pursuit of self-improvement.):

At the time, I was going through a break-up with someone whose chart is loaded with Virgo energy (rising, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, North Node). My nickname for him was Mr. Pity Party. No matter what good fortune lay at his feet, he could pick it apart until all that was left was a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom waiting to happen.

My relationship with him served as a clear mirror for me. I may not have complained with his same level of intensity or frequency, but I definitely pulled up a chair to more than a few of his Pity Parties with my own list of gripes.

So this idea of a complaint-free world spoke to me.

After viewing the video, I visited the website and purchased a three bracelets - one for me, one for my Virgo-loaded-soon-to-be-ex and one for my mom (with her Jupiter in Virgo, she's no stranger to complaining, either). I'm not going to lie. The first day was hard. Not only did I switch my bracelet twice but I also gave myself a snap on the wrist for a particular lengthy gripe session during rush hour traffic.

Over time, though, I found that I was able to fill in the absence of complaints with more workable solutions.

With each new proactive solution, I no longer felt despair at not being able to overcome what seemed like insurmountable problems. Chipping away at a huge problem empowered me. People with Saturn in Virgo are easily weighted down with fears of failure and can suffer from the condition known as "paralysis by analysis". Through my efforts not to complain, I learned that it's better to count even the smallest steps in the right direction as wins in order to remain motivated. (My mom with her Jupiter in Virgo put this to me in a way that I could understand and accept.)

I learned that lesson two years. However...Lately, I have found myself complaining a lot about complainers. By virtue of having my ears and eyes open every day, I am deluged with constant complaints from people about everything from major problems to the infinite minutiae of their lives. Their constant complaints dampen my spirit and make me super angry super fast (blame that on my Sagittarius rising). Honestly, I wish they would all just shut up. Because complaining is more contagious than the common cold. Fact: It infects any listener within earshot of the complainer faster than swine flu.

But...instead of continuing my rant about complainers, I have decided to be proactive and commit an act of service: spread the word about this goal to people so they can hop off of the complaint track.

It has (almost) worked for me.

Click here to order A Complaint Free World bracelet. If you know someone who complains way too much for their own (and your) good, buy one for them, too. Or share this post with them.

Related Posts:
Saturn in Virgo - September 2007 - October 2009
To learn more about how Saturn works in the other signs, click here.
Random Rhyme & Reason: Fear of Failure Is So Yesterday

Wanna Learn More About You For FREE?

2010-01-02T20:35:00.000-08:00

You may have noticed the poll at the top of this blog asking what's your level of astrological knowledge. So far, most of the respondents have an intermediate to advanced level. But some people have specifically asked me for resources for beginners. A couple months ago, I wrote a post titled "The 10 Best Astrology Resources for Beginners", which features my favorite astrologers, books, websites and videos. But I forgot something crucial: most beginners only know their star signs. And that's what made them curious to learn more.

There are links in the margins of this blog for those who want to learn how to interpret charts. But what if you don't want to learn how to interpret charts? What if you just want to learn more about YOU (or someone else) without having to do the analysis yourself?

Here are some websites that provide free birth charts with in-depth interpretations. For FREE!
(Note: You'll want to have your birth day/year/time/place for the most accurate results.)

1. Personalized SuperPower Report - A friend on Twitter (gotta love Virgos and their wonderful research skills) recently passed me this link and it's one of the best computerized natal reports that I have seen at no charge.

2. Romantic Compatibility Report - Wanna know how you and a special someone will get along? Check this report out to find out the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship. You'll need to know your partner's birth info, too.

3. Cafe Astrology Free Reports - This link takes you to free daily horosopes, natal report, romantic compatibility report, and transits for any day. Many beginners look at astrology as fortune-telling. If you want to "see into your future", then check out your transit report.

4. Astro.com Free Reports - The "free reports" here are short samples of what you'd get if you purchased a full personalized report. The samples are insightful enough on their own without making a purchase, though. You can get a personal portrait, psychological horoscope, career and vocation report, relationship horoscope, partner horoscope, child's horoscope, find the best place to travel for vacation or relocation, etc. I found it interesting to look up my horoscope report as a child.

5. ChaosAstrology Natal Report - This one's good for beginners with short attention spans. The descriptions are to the point and easy to understand. There are also some minor aspects included with the major aspects. Also courtesy of one of my fav Virgos. :)

Keep in mind when reading these reports that they are computer-generated. Therefore, they will have many contradictions in the descriptions. E.g. A report may say that you're shy in one section but then say that you're aggressive. Well, both of those statements could be true. That's where the skill of a human astrologer comes into play. A human astrologer can explain the nuances of your personality, psyche, point out patterns...basically apply your chart to your life so that it can become more than a theory about someone who happens to have your birthday.

If you have any questions for me that are related to your birth chart, click here.

What did you discover about yourself? About someone else? Did anything in the interpretations surprise you? Reinforce what you already know? What's your favorite astrological website?

Gotta Have Faith: The Story Of A Tested 9th House

2010-01-01T20:39:00.000-08:00

Today, I have been giving 9th house issues extra thought because it's the 7th day of Kwanzaa. The 7th principle of the Nguzo Sabo is Imani (Ee-Mah-Nee), which means "faith" in Swahili. As I reflected today about what faith means to me, I realized that it took a tough Saturn Return for me to reach a point in my life where I no longer consider faith to be a dirty word. When all else failed (and it did - both literally and figuratively), faith is what carried me through my toughest times. The irony of faith is that you can only gain it after it's been sorely tested: "faith is what you have when there's nothing else to hold on to."

As kids, we were taught to blow out candles and make a wish, put our teeth under our pillows and wake up richer, wait for a fat man in a red suit to come down our chimneys with presents for us if we're good, pick up a penny for good luck, pitch that penny into a wishing well and all of our dreams will come true. And I believed all of those things.

Until they stopped coming true. I blew out birthday candles and wished that my parents were no longer separated. But they remained apart. I put teeth under my pillow but didn't get any money. I specifically asked Santa for a Cornsilk Cabbage Patch but what I got was a mop-haired Cabbage Patch (that turned out to be a collectible item). Time after time, my wishes didn't come true and I begin to lose faith in what I was taught to believe in.

I became that kid who told all of the other kids that Santa Claus wasn't real. "If you don't believe me, then look in your parents' closets! Stay up late and you'll see your parents putting your presents under the Christmas tree!" I bet my friends that if they didn't tell their parents about their missing teeth, they wouldn't find any money under their pillows. I was deconstructing fairy tales left and right. And I was always correct. I learned that all I had to do was analyze anything long enough and I could always spot the flaws, the smoke and mirrors, the wizard behind the curtain. But each time I was able to spot the lie, I was simultaneously destroying my ability to have faith in anything...

Where does our faith (or, in my case, lack of faith) come from?

We can find all faith-related issues in the 9th house of our natal charts. This is the house that deals with "Meaning of Life" questions, including religion, politics, spiritual/universal/human law, higher education, foreign travel, ethics, etc. When we get into debates and start using words like "should", "shouldn't" and "must", we are arguing from our 9th house point of view.

I have Sagittarius rising. In a Jupiter-ruled chart, my 9th house is extremely important and is a major part of the answer to the question "What is my life purpose?" Having Saturn in Virgo in my 9th house highlights this even more. As children, Saturn represents our teachers and our parents. As we become older, Saturn symbolizes our inner voice of reason, sense of righteousness, the "God" principle, employers, etc. In other words, Saturn represents inner and outer authority.

Saturn in Virgo in the 9th house places ultimate faith in facts, knowledge gained from practical application and previous experience, and what can be proven and felt by the 5 physical senses. Saturn in Virgo couldn't care less about the 6th sense. The ruler of my 9th house is in the 8th house of other people's values and resources and...our 6th sense (the 8th house rules metaphysics). My Saturn in Virgo is sextile my Cancer Sun in the 8th house, along with my Mercury (communication style, mental processing, lower thought) and Jupiter (faith, values, higher thought) conjunction in Leo - a broad-minded, yet somewhat naive, sign. In plain English, I have the tools to integrate my 6th sense with my sense of practicality, which I will need to get through my crises of faith. But first I must learn to have faith in all of my senses.

It would be an understatement to say that I was devastated when relatives and people I considered to be family lied to me at such an early age. What may have seemed like little "white lies" to them were examples of how I cannot trust in what appears on the surface. That I had to uncover the truth by searching out the facts on my own jump-started a lifelong pattern of disbelieving what others tell me until I verify it for myself.

I wasn't raised in an organized religion but I was exposed to many people's various beliefs. At home, my mom taught me that religion and blind faith was for the weak-minded who couldn't reason their way out of a paper bag. Every time I expressed a belief in a higher power or wanted to attend church with a friend, I felt her disapproval of my intellectual development. However, my dad showed me how he finds solace in his faith as a Muslim (9th house Saturn in Virgo sextile 8th Cancer Sun) without pushing his faith onto me. At school, Pan-Africanist, meat-is-evil, whitey-is-the-devil rhetoric was shoved down my throat until I believed it or else. As I grew older, I began to shed some of these opinions that others held so dear while holding on to the ones that were proven correct or workable for me. This process of opinion elimination is an ongoing one for me (my 9th house Saturn in Virgo squares my Mars in Gemini in the 6th/7th house).

As an adult, I still delight in imagining the infinite possibilities (1st house Neptune in Sagittarius) but my 9th house Saturn in Virgo keeps me from diving off of a cliff with wings made of air. Grounded faith is my happy compromise.

How do you define faith? What do you have faith in? How has your faith been tested? How are those experiences tied into your 9th house?

Related posts:
Random Rhyme & Reason: "I Don't Believe in Fairy Tales" (a poem)

Random Rhyme & Reason: Gotta Have Faith

The Zodiac Archetypes of "The Princess & The Frog" and "Avatar"

2009-12-19T20:14:00.000-08:00

I saw two movies today and, as usual, also saw the main characters as zodiac archetypes.

Warning: mild plot spoilers.

First up, "The Princess & the Frog":

A modern day retelling of the classic story The Frog Prince. The Princess and the Frog finds the lives of arrogant, carefree Prince Naveen and hardworking waitress Tiana crossing paths. Prince Naveen is transformed into a frog by a conniving voodoo magician and Tiana, following suit, upon kissing the amphibian royalty. With the help of a trumpet-playing alligator, a Cajun firefly, and an old blind lady who lives in a boat in a tree, Naveen and Tiana must race to break the spell and fulfill their dreams. - The Massie Twins

The entire time I was watching the movie, I mentally dubbed this film "The Cancer Princess and the Sagittarius Frog".

My guess is that Tiana is a Cancer with Capricorn rising, Mercury and Venus in Taurus, and Mars in Virgo.

My supporting evidence?

Traditional.
Very close to her parents.
Few yet close, loving friendships.
Has a natural talent and joy for cooking.
Inherited a strong work ethic from her parents, as well as her father's dream to open a restaurant.
Believes hard work is the answer to all of life's problems. Does not take time to socialize with friends.
Plans for her dream by working two waitressing jobs.
Most conversation revolves around realizing her dream.
Afraid to dance because it might make her look stupid.
Loves music and has a beautiful singing voice.
Very little escapes her attention, especially while preparing food.

I guess Prince Naveen to have his Sun in Sagittarius, Leo rising and Taurus Moon.

Supporting evidence?

Royal blood.
Parents left him broke & alone to fend for himself.
Jovial personality.
Makes friends with everyone he meets.
Devil-may-care attitude.
Loves to travel.
Easily woos the ladies.
Dreams of riches and freedom.
Willing to marry into money for security.
Very trusting.
Takes people at face value.

Disney sure does like to go for opposites attract type romances. And this one's no different. Generally speaking, a Cancer woman will have a hard time finding common ground with a Sagittarius man but it can happen if the Cancer woman relaxes a little and the Sagittarius man grows up a little.

Next up: "Avatar":

A paraplegic marine, Jake Sully, dispatched to the planet Pandora on a unique mission becomes torn between following his orders and protecting the world he feels is his home. - IMDB

Warning: plot spoilers.

I mentally dubbed this film "Aries Adventure in AquariusLand" with Jake Sully as the Aries.

Supporting evidence?

Throughout the film, Jake Sully's transformation from neophyte to grown man is documented via his nicknames: baby, moron, warrior, aerial hunter and finally...hero. That's definitely an Aries man's evolution.
Jake's enthusiastic impatience to explore his new avatar and inability to follow orders is the plot's catalyst.
He falls in love with the "warrior princess" of Pandora.
Their romance includes a lot of battles - first against each other, then side-by-side to protect their territory.
Pandora is a place where the people have tribal African and Native American-esque ideals: collectivism is key, the land/nature is respected/protected, communal ownership, worship ancestors, outsiders are greeted with wary open-mindedness.
So naturally the conflict comes in the form of Sky People with the worst sides of Taurean/Capricorn values: individualism, economical heirarchies, private property rights, industrialization and land is to be utilized/maximized for profit.

Both movies entertained my inner child quite well. :)

Have you seen either of these movies? What zodiac archetypes did you notice?

Celebrity Profile: Chris Henry's Last Big Leap (A Chart Interpretation)

2009-12-17T10:41:00.000-08:00

This morning, Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry died from injuries sustained in a car accident resulting from a domestic dispute with his fiance:

Talented but troubled Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry died Thursday from injuries suffered when he was thrown from the back of a moving pickup truck during a fight with his fiancee.
Henry, 26, was injured a day earlier in Charlotte, N.C.
He was pronounced dead at 6:36 a.m. at a North Carolina hospital, police said. - NY Daily News

Sadly, this doesn't come as a shock to me. Last night, I looked at Chris' chart - particularly his death house and...things weren't looking good to me.

Chris Henry was born on May 17, 1983 in Belle Chassee, Louisiana. Note: I can't find his birth time so I'm using 4:48am to make Chris' Sun his Ascendant (rather than the traditional noon as birth time method).

His 8th house is ruled by Sagittarius and Jupiter. 8th house Jupiter in Sagittarius opposes 2nd house Mars in Gemini. Were they fighting over resources, possessions, how to spend money? It's too soon to know the details of the argument, but those are likely topics. Sagittarius and Gemini are the most "mobile" zodiac signs (translated literally here as death by moving transportation). The ruler of Chris' 8th house is in the 8th house and is conjunct Uranus in Sagittarius: sudden "freak accident" death by transportation:

After Henry and fiancee Loleini Tonga began arguing at a Charlotte house, Tonga started to drive off and Henry apparently jumped into the bed of the pickup truck, police in Charlotte said.
As Tonga drove, Henry tumbled out the back of the moving vehicle. The mortally wounded NFL player was found lying in the street about a half-mile from the home, police said. - NY Daily News

The ruler of Chris' 8th house also opposes Chiron in Taurus in the 1st house: fatal wounding to his head (area of the body ruled by the 1st house). Both Chiron in Taurus and Mars in Gemini aspect Saturn in Libra which is at the end of his 6th house, moving into his 7th house of romantic partners and open conflict. Saturn in Libra is all about learning lessons through interpersonal relationships, learning how to negotiate and work out fair deals in partnership, learning how to overcome the fear of being alone or of being in an unfair partnership. If Chris had learned these lessons, the fight wouldn't have escalated and he wouldn't have taken that fateful leap into the back of a moving pickup truck. Obviously, his fiance was doing the responsible thing by driving away. (It's interesting to me that Chris was a couple years shy of his first Saturn Return - a time when he surely would've been tested by his relationships and, hopefully, would've come out the other side wiser for it. I would advise anyone with Saturn in Libra to wait until after their first Saturn return before entering a serious relationship/marriage. Unfortunately, this is oftentimes not the case because people with Saturn in Libra are overly focused on being in a relationship.)

I can't help but be reminded of the Tiger Woods situation. There are quite a few similarities: both athletes were involved in romantic disputes that resulted in physical injuries, have Moon in the 4th house (domestic bliss is necessary for emotional security, attracted to nurturing women, family/childhood traditions strongly influence home life), have Mars in Gemini (aids athletic agility, arguing for sport with lovers, attracting argumentative lovers, etc.) opposing planets in Sagittarius (huge foolish risks, tunnel vision, acting on principles). (Also noteworthy is that both men were involved in interracial relationships. I previously noted in my Tiger Woods post how Sagittarius and Gemini are often prominent in the charts of people involved in, or open to, interracial relationships.)

Just as Tiger's 4th house Moon in Sagittarius was activated by transits at the time of his accident, so was Chris' 4th house Moon in Cancer (an extremely strong placement because his Moon is in both its ruling sign and house!). Transit Uranus in Pisces was trine to Chris' 4th house Cancer Moon, which was surely the trigger point in setting off Chris' strong emotional reactions at home with the person who represents his Moon - his fiance. Because the trine involves Pisces and Cancer, I suspect he was feeling depressed and dependent, perhaps he wanted to be pampered back to health and didn't know how to ask for that from his fiance in a productive way? I can believe that her leaving him in his time of need would've set off a childish reaction of chasing her down. It's important to note here that his Moon in Cancer (irrational grievances!) is sextile his Mars in Gemini (verbal arguments!) and square his 6th house Pluto/ 7th house Saturn conjunction in Libra (power struggles in relationships!). Along with resources, they might have also been fighting about something in their daily routine like household chores, taking care of the kids, etc.

The theme of Sagittarius/Jupiter is very strong in Chris' chart and this was all reinforced in the sky. At the time of the accident, the transit Sun/Moon/Venus conjunction in Sagittarius was moving through Chris' 8th house.

What's in Chris' natal 8th house of death and transformation? Uranus and Jupiter in Sagittarius. Jupiter is in it's natural home in Sagittarius and indicates that Chris was a person with big goals, an optimistic point of view, a risk taker, a person of faith and principle, and had an aversion to standing still in life (literally and figuratively). Chris was probably feeling stir crazy not being able to work due to a recently broken arm. (With transit Neptune in Aquarius squaring his Sun in Taurus, Chiron in Taurus and sextile his Neptune in Sagittarius, Chris might have been heavily medicated at the time of his argument to ease his physical pain). On Nov. 9, James Parker wrote:

CINCINNATI -- Bengals receiver Chris Henry wasn't sure whether he'd play again this season after he broke his arm during a 17-7 victory over the Baltimore Ravens on Sunday.

Henry broke his left forearm just above the wrist when he was tackled by cornerback Fabian Washington after a 20-yard reception. Henry's back hit the ground and Washington landed on top of him. A replay showed the forearm bowing slightly.

He knew immediately that the injury was severe.

"I was about to get up and I felt my arm [hurt]," Henry said. "Then I noticed it was broken."

As a person with Sagittarius rising exactly opposing Mars in Gemini, I can tell you that being restricted mentally or physically feels like death. Yes, we do go stir crazy and get argumentative when we can't move around the way we want. As a child, I had a tendency to climb anything with substantial height and jump off (bunk beds, trees, roofs) just to test myself (and get a pretty cast). In order to direct my excessive physical energy into a relatively safer outlet, My mom (with Sun in Gemini and Saturn in Sagittarius) enrolled me in various recreational activities, including swimming, horseback riding, tennis, soccer, gymnastics - pretty much every sport you can imagine. While other mothers were teaching their little girls how to sit with their legs closed, I was wearing shorts under my dresses so I could do cartwheels with modest abandon. Without all of the extracurricular activities, I would've surely been a terror in the house.

The paradox of having the Sag-Gem opposition in one's chart is that we can be both extraordinarily athletic and well-coordinated while also being extremely clumsy and a hazard to ourselves. The same near-sightedness (Sagittarius) that helps us anticipate a ball coming at us is the same point of view that allows us to trip over our own feet (Gemini). Also, this opposition practically guarantees that you have a risktaker on your hands. It's in our DNA to take huge gambles. We have a faith in our ability to navigate circumstances that less...adventurous people wouldn't dare to do, which has both positive and negative results. To us, life is an experience and not worth living if we can't test our limits. And that doesn't just pertain to physical endeavors.

One of my exes once remarked to me after I finished my impersonation of a race car driver to get a better parking space: "I'm worried about you. You are the smartest person I know, yet take some of the dumbest risks I have ever seen. You're always looking for the upgrade in life. Why can't you just sit still and enjoy the moment?" (His Moon is in Sagittarius but squares a lot of planets in Virgo so...that was the voice of prudence trying to talk some sense into me before I leapt off of another metaphorical cliff.)

As football fans who follow football players off-field lives know, Chris has had many troubles involving him over-indulging in the good life. His track record with alcohol, speeding, etc. is, to me, a direct link to his Uranus-Jupiter conjunction in Sagittarius being in the 8th house (opposing Mars in Gemini): ignoring society's laws and gambling with his life. The same aspects/placements that aided him in being a great wide receiver known for being able to make the big jumps to catch passes are the same aspects/placements that led him to believe that he had enough superhuman ability to jump onto a moving pickup truck with a broken arm and survive.

Once again, I feel a kinship here. My Jupiter is also in a fire sign in the 8th house (remember, in a Jupiter-ruled chart) and is sextile my Mars in Gemini. The Jupiter-Mars combination involving the 8th house gives one a penchant for living life at full throttle at all times. Because we've "won" our gambles so many times, we tend to think that our luck in this area will never run out. But it always does. Whereas Chris has Uranus in Sagittarius urging his Jupiter in Sagittarius and Mars in Gemini to take bigger risks, I have Saturn in Virgo telling my Mars/Jupiter sextile to slow down and take the safer path for good health.

I'm not a football fan by any means (despite having played a lot of touch football in my younger days), but this story is affecting me on a more personal level than the Tiger Woods situation. I can relate a little too much to Chris' foolish stunt because that has been me more times than I care to remember or count.

One of my favorite quotes: "If you can't be a good example, then you'll have to be a horrible warning." ~ Catherine Aird

We should all heed Chris Henry's life and death as a "horrible warning" to look before we leap.

R.I.P.

"White Collar": The Portrait of a Smooth Libra Criminal

2009-12-10T09:32:00.000-08:00

One of my two new favorite TV shows is "White Collar" (the other one is "Glee"). It's about a notoriously skillful con artist and art thief, Neil Caffrey, who gets re-caught by the FBI after escaping from prison. Peter Burke, the FBI agent who caught Neil both times offers up a sweet deal: help the FBI catch other criminals and get a taste of freedom in exchange. Of course Neil accepts the deal because it's easier to track down his One True Love, Kate, if he's not behind steel bars. The mystery of why Kate is on the run is a running theme throughout all of the first season episodes. The greater mystery to me is what mental illness Kate is suffering from that would make her run away from gorgeous, charming Neil. But whatevs.

This show has everything I adore in my fluffy entertainment: humor (the witty kind), action, surprise twists and sexual tension:

As I was watching the first episode, I immediately picked up a very Libran vibe from Neil: gorgeous, charming (Matthew Bomer has chemistry with just about everyone he's in a room with), diplomatic with men, has swagger with a bit of self-conscious vanity, and an inner moral code that's based on subjective fairness rather than society's laws. Also, he really, really enjoys being in a partnership with Agent Burke. As the season has progressed, we can tell that his developing friendship with Burke is becoming just as big of a draw to Neil as having enough freedom to search for his One True Love (aren't Libras always suckers for love?).

There's a constant inner struggle within Neil to follow his heart (chasing after Kate) or remain faithful to the deal he struck with his new ~~work-husband~~ partner. Although Burke is married to a lovely woman (Kelly from the cheesy classic "Saved By the Bell"), the relationship with Neil is fast becoming a work-marriage. They bicker and then they make up. It's so sweet. And hilarious. As any good partner in a polygamous relationship would do, Neil advises Burke on how to keep his wife happy - and never steers him wrong. It's as if Burke has his own personal Hitch (coincidentally played by Libra Will Smith).

With such a strong whiff of Libra emanating from Neil Caffrey, curiosity led me to discover that Matthew Bomer (the actor that plays Neil) is indeed a Libra - born October 11, 1977. And guess what? Every single actor that plays a main character on this show (whose birthday is available to us) is an air sign:

Tim Dekay (Gemini) - FBI Agent Peter Burke, Neil's new partner
Willie Garson (Aquarius) - Mozzie, Neil's literal partner in crime, confidant and friend
Tiffani Theissen (Aquarius) - Elizabeth, Agent Burke's wife and the third point of the Love Triangle
Sharif Atkins (Aquarius) - FBI Agent Jones, a member of Agent Burke's team

Hand-picked from Astrology Casting Central

Obviously, the Aquarians are the majority here. What other sign would we expect to be most attracted to a show with a premise that the career criminal is the good guy? It has just enough anti-conformity to make a true Aquarius smile. Gemini Tim DeKay does a great job playing the straight man to Libra Matthew Bomer. The chemistry between these two air sign actors is undeniable as their characters trade snarky one-liners and dance between fondness and antagonism. Actually, the relationship between all of the characters is quite airy: witty repartee, bouncing ideas off one another, accepting each other flaws-criminal-tendencies-and-all, etc. The casting director is a genius.

Btw, you know who turned me on to this show? My Gemini mother, who has Mercury in Gemini. It took her all of 2 minutes to declare "White Collar" her favorite new show. It took me and my Venus and Mars in Gemini about 10 minutes to do the same.

Check out fresh "White Collar" episodes here.

An example of air signs getting along:

Notice the very first question from the host is about the great chemistry between the cast. As most Hollywood insiders know, the chemistry (or lack thereof) between cast members can make (or break) a show. The actors try to explain their chemistry but any astrologer would be able to tell them that it's the air sign compatibility. In other words, the stars are aligned. :)

Aren't they precious together? :) Note how both of them mentioned that this show is about crime but doesn't have a lot of violence (that's more of a fire sign thang). Rather, this show relies on smart dialogue and the intelligence of the characters for its "action" sequences. In other words, brains over brawn - an air sign's mantra.

Hitch Trailer

Every American man should be lucky enough to have a personal love assistant. There would probably be a lot more marriage and a lot less divorce.

Can't quite put my finger on what it is about Libras that makes them so damn likable...

Why Tiger Woods Got Caught By His Tail (A Chart Interpretation)

2009-12-09T23:34:00.000-08:00

I keep trying to ignore the Tiger Woods sex scandals, but every day we keep learning something new. And my curiosity has gotten the best of me (blame it on my planets in nosy-as-hell Gemini).

According to Gawker, Tiger's two weeks from hell began at:

Nov. 27, 2:25am, the big confusing fight: One of Woods' neighbors in Windermere, Fla. calls 911, saying Woods has crashed his Cadillac Escalade into a tree and is lying on the ground outside the vehicle. Woods is taken to the hospital in "serious condition" and released later that day.

Nov. 28, real news breaks: TMZ reports Elin had scratched up Tiger's face in an argument before he attempted to flee in his vehicle, and that Elin was attacking the SUV with a golf club as Woods attempted to escape.

Nov. 29, 'I'm sorry for something vague': Woods releases a statement that doesn't say much: "This situation is my fault... I'm human and I'm not perfect... This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way."

To read the full timeline, click here.

Now that we're caught up on the madness, let's figure out what's going on by taking a look at Tiger's birthchart.

The first thing I notice about Tiger is that he's a Capricorn with his Sun and Moon placed in his 4th house. He has a strong attachment to his mother, roots, tradition and family. For his emotional security, he would be drawn towards a woman who reminds him of his mother or someone who has a nurturing quality. Enter Elin Woods who was a nanny prior to becoming a trophy wife. Tiger's 4th house is ruled by Sagittarius and Jupiter - which is all about exploring foreign (or exotic) territory and travel. So no surprise here that he would be drawn to a woman who is of a different nationality, ethnicity and culture from him, while still reminding him of familiar mom territory. The ruler of Tiger's 4th house is placed in the 8th house of shared resources (money/property/credit), power, sexual taboos and death, which sums up Tiger's situation with his wife quite well: she was betrayed by him having taboo sex with other women, almost killed him in a jealous(?) rage and is about to reap a not-so-small fortune for her "trouble".

However, what's not getting a lot of publicity is that Tiger's wife betrayed the rules of their prenuptial contract by refusing to accompany him to all social and career-related events. When I first heard that Tiger required his wife to travel with him, I thought that was more than a bit weird. But upon inspection of that Sagittarius-ruled 4th house (with the Sagittarius Moon sitting there), we can see that he needs his wife's (or some nurturing woman's) companionship with him at all times for emotional security. That he expects his wife to be his traveling buddy even though they have two small children is indicative of typical lofty Sagittarius (read: unrealistic) expectations. By all accounts, everything was fine between them until Elin could no longer meet those high expectations of his for whatever reason. And when Tiger isn't happy at home (4th house), we see that it directly triggers his "dark side" (8th house), which is reinforced by his deeply sexual Venus in Scorpio.

What's in his 8th house of taboo? Impulsive, risk-taking Jupiter in Aries sextile experimental, curious, easily bored Mars in Gemini in the 10th house of career and reputation (which is extra important in any Capricorn's chart). Every time Tiger dabbled with a new woman, he was literally risking public exposure. While he used to be mostly known for being a very skilled, dexterous golfer (Mars in Gemini makes for excellent hand-eye coordination), now he's just as famous for the variety of his sexual affairs - something else Mars in Gemini can be good at managing. He's also attracting very chatty sexual partners with that Mars in Gemini. His many mistresses are blabbing their stories to anyone who will listen (a mistress no-no).

Speaking of sex, let's take a look at Tiger's 5th house of romantic flings, pleasure, hobbies, sports and children. Tiger's Mercury in Capricorn is placed in his 5th house and opposes Saturn in Leo in his 11th house. This could be interpreted in many ways. I suspect that he's not happy about his children placing restrictions on his social outings, yet doesn't feel comfortable expressing this displeasure because of how it would affect his social image and aspirations (Saturn in Leo in 11th house). So instead of expressing his frustration verbally (Mercury opposed Saturn), he acts out by passive-aggressively seeking his pleasure elsewhere - through many sexual relationships (which probably involve him discussing his problems or dirty talk with his Mercury being in the 5th house). His 5th house is ruled by pragmatic, stability-loving Capricorn, so I'm not surprised that he has many longterm mistresses. He probably had them all sign non-disclosure agreements - or at least thought about it. With his 5th house ruled by Saturn, it's almost a recipe for having business-like transactions with lovers (i.e. he is very attracted to the notion of no-fuss high-priced prostitution where everyone has a well-defined role). I've heard people speculate as to why Tiger keeps paying off his mistresses. Well, with his 5th house of sex ruled by business-minded Capricorn, he literally goes into every sexual encounter thinking "what is this gonna cost me?" He probably already knows how much each mistress will "cost" him before he actually gets down and dirty with them. Obviously, he has been miscalulating his pros and cons lists.

Saturn is the planet of restrictions, karma and accountability (it also happens to rule Capricorn and is especially important in any Capricorn's chart). So it's no wonder that Tiger's sexual miscalculations are coming back to bite him in the ass. Where some men cheat as a diversion from responsibilities at home, Tiger literally cheats and ends up taking on even more responsibility with each new mistress that he acquires (Capricorn is all about acquisitions). Saturn demands that Tiger grow up, take responsibility for his bad (sexual) decisions and work hard to maintain everything that he's worked so hard to achieve (Mercury in Capricorn in the 5th house of SPORTS and Mars in Gemini in the 10th house of CAREER, ACHIEVEMENT and PUBLIC REPUTATION).

So what was going on in the sky on Nov. 27 at 2:25am? And how did that affect Tiger? Transit Sun in Sagittarius (ruled by Jupiter which makes everything larger) was moving through Tiger's 4th house and making a trine with Tiger's natal Saturn in Leo in the 11th house - literally shining a light on a huge domestic conflict and making it easier for society to see (Leo) and judge (Saturn) the circumstances. No way was Tiger going to be able to sweep this incident under the rug. Transit Moon in emotional, depressed, melodramatic Pisces was sitting in Tiger's 7th house of marriage and open conflict with equals (i.e. matyred WIFE!) and opposing his Virgo Rising (i.e. challenging his squeaky clean image) and making a trine to his Venus in Scorpio (which is capable of attracting a woman who wields a golf club as a weapon over sexual betrayal). Pisces is also the sign of smoke and mirrors and savior/martyr complexes. Tiger's wife's actions were very confusing to the public and the weird explanation given immediately after the incident didn't help clear up that confusion:

Nov. 27, daytime, the innocent official line: Police release a report indicating Woods was drifting in and out of consciousness when they arrived at the scene. They tell the Orlando Sentinel that Elin heroically rescued him from the vehicle by bashing in the rear windows of the SUV and was hovering over Woods "frantic and upset" when police arrived. - Gawker

Transit Mercury (mobility, thought processes) in Sagittarius (a very weak position) was skating through Tiger's 3rd house (which rules cars, short trips, neighbors) and squaring his Virgo Rising (his image & body), which literally translates to him having a major car accident in his neighborhood that caused injuries to his face. Symbolically, this aspect explains Tiger telling tall tales with unbelievable details that were in conflict with what his neighbors were saying to the press. The more Tiger tried to explain the situation, the more crazy and stupid he sounded. The fact that transiting Mercury in Sagittarius was also conjunct Tiger's Moon in Sagittarius (an emotionally fired up wife), opposing his Mars in Gemini (slick double-talk), and trining his Jupiter in Aries (must act now!) = non-stop lies to protect his angry wife despite what I'm sure his lawyers advised him to do - shut up. This is also reinforced by transit Venus in Scorpio in Tiger's 3rd house sextiling his Mercury in Capricorn - defending his sexual indiscretions in the hopes that he could lessen the damage to his public standing/career.

Transit Mars in Leo was sextile Tiger's Mars in Gemini, trine his Moon in Sagittarius and conjunct his Saturn in Leo - gallantly coming to his wife's defense to admit his wrongdoing publicly in order to shift the blame to his own actions. Both transit Mars and Tiger's Saturn were conjunct in the sign of Leo (representing fame, ego, pride) at the time of his accident. Together, they can be interpreted as karma forcing Tiger to account for his actions and rethink the arrogance that got him into this situation in the first place. As the saying goes: pride goeth before the fall. Although Tiger continues to stick to his stupid story of his wife saving him, he is being extremely forthcoming and honest about his contribution to this mess, which is causing the Players Club to revoke his membership (#1 Player rule: "Stick to the lie no matter what").

Transit Pluto in Capricorn is currently in Tiger's 4th house of family, is conjunct his Sun in Capricorn, sextile his Uranus in Scorpio and square his Pluto in Libra. Pluto represents major transformation, death (symbolic and literal), new beginnings and power struggles. In this case, it could be translated literally as him suddenly getting beat up (Pluto in Capricorn sextile Uranus in Scorpio) by his wife (squaring his Pluto in Libra) near his home (4th house), which also served as an attack on his sense of pride (conjunct Sun in Capricorn). Capricorn is ruled by Saturn (accountability). Notice that although Tiger is the victim of domestic abuse, he immediately took responsibility for being beat up by saying that he broke the rules and must pay for his mistakes (Capricorn is always concerned with rules, finances, debt).

Transit Saturn is in Libra (the sign of partnerships, law, justice, fairness and negotiations) and is passing slowly through Tiger's 1st house. Uppermost in his mind is reevaluating how his marriage is contributing to his self-image. Will Tiger continue to try to renegotiate his marriage rules with his wife or will he decide that it's not cheaper to keep her? Only time will tell. But it sure will be interesting to watch. I suspect that this story won't be over anytime soon and I wouldn't be surprised if we see these two in and out of court for awhile.

Sidenote about Tiger's aversion to dating black women: Much of the discussion about Tiger's sex life within the African-American community seems to be centered around the fact that he obviously has a preference for white women - more specifically, not black women. Of all the signs in the zodiac, I'd venture that Sagittarius and Gemini are the most open to exploring interracial relationships. These opposite signs represent the axis of lower thought v. higher thought: Gemini (mentally curious = open-minded) v. Sagittarius (physically curious = open to various experiences). And I have found that people who are involved in interracial relationships often have these two signs prominent in their charts. Not only does Tiger have his Moon (representing his mother and the type of women he would feel most emotionally attracted to as a wife) in Sagittarius but he has Mars (sex drive) in Gemini. To add to this equation: the axis that represents Tiger's mother and father in his chart involves Sagittarius and Gemini. People tend to repeat their parents' choices when it comes to choosing mates - and sometimes even end up dating people who remind them of their parents. It speaks to how we use our parents as our first role models in life. Obviously, Tiger's parents are open to interracial dating. Tiger also has Venus in Scorpio, giving him a penchant for breaking social and romantic taboos (a "Caublinasian" dating a white woman is still very much taboo amongst the golfing elite, I'm sure). Given all of this, it would be more of a shock to me if Tiger WASN'T sexually, romantically and emotionally attracted to women who are drastically culturally different from him. Notice that he dates neither black (his dad) NOR Asian (his mother) women.

To better illustrate what type of relationship Tiger wants, think Angelina Jolie (Gemini) and Brad Pitt (Sagittarius) gallivanting all over the world with their United Nations tribe racking up stamps in their passports like it's nothing.

To read a different (pre-scandal) interpretation of Tiger's chart, click here.

Related posts:
New Rule: It Ain't Cheaper To Keep Her (Or a Cheater)
Domestic Violence: Two Wrongs Doesn't Make It Right

How To Break Up With a Fire Sign (part 4 of the Breaking Up Series)

2009-12-08T22:20:00.000-08:00

A couple months ago, I began republishing my Breaking Up Series with "How to Break Up With a Water Sign", "How to Break Up With an Earth Sign" and "How to Break Up With An Air Sign". Last, but definitely not least, it's the fire signs' turn!

Disclaimer: This post is for humorous and educational purposes only (i.e. if you're a fire sign & this doesn't apply to you, laugh & learn anyway.). Adhere to the following advice at your own risk.

Yes, breaking up is hard to do. And it's so much harder when your soon-to-be-ex is an amusing Aries, a lovely Leo, or a smart Sagittarius. If you've ever dated fire signs, then you know that breaking up with them is nearly impossible, especially if they don't want to break up with you. In that case, they'll pull out all the stops to win you back, which can be a very tempting proposition for you. Assuming you're truly ready to move on from your Aries, Leo or Sagittarius, you'll need all the help you can get to make the breakup stick. Here's a guide to initiating (and surviving) a breakup with a fire sign.

The Break-Up Strategy

Breaking up with an Aries requires some foresight (not a trait that Aries is known for having, by the way). Without a plan of action, the probability of getting pulled into a knock-down, drag-out fight is very high if Aries even suspects for one second that you're voluntarily walking away from the relationship first (keyword with Aries). The least painful tactic (for you) is to convince Aries that it's his or her idea to break up with you. Become the antithesis of what Aries respects: a lazy, unfocused and indecisive coward. To make sure the breakup sticks, adopt a new pessimistic outlook on life. Whenever Aries comes to you excited about a brand new venture, point out all the reasons why the venture is the worst idea in the history of ideas. Make sure to point out flaws in Aries' plan only ONCE, though, because repeating yourself will signal to Aries that an argument is on the horizon. Naturally, an argument may turn Aries on and lead to some break-up-to-make-up sex. If that happens, you'll have to start all over from scratch, except now Aries thinks you're playing the "Breakup Game" as foreplay for another enthusiastic sex session.

Leo is a very loyal sign, so breaking up can be extra tricky. In order to escape from Leo unscathed, you must commit to putting aside your ego for the greater good of the breakup. As with Aries, the goal here is to get Leo to break up with you. There are two surefire ways to having a relatively stress-free parting with a Leo:

1.) Go light on the praise and remove the words "thank you" from your vocabulary, but lay the criticism on heavy (especially in front of someone Leo admires)

AND/OR

2.) Convince Leo you're not worthy of being in the relationship.

Examples of tactic #2 include getting demoted (or better yet, fired) for doing something Leo can't put a positive spin on or being seen in public looking significantly less groomed than normal (or as Leo expects). The beauty of convincing Leo you're unworthy is that you'll just be confirming what Leo already thinks, so this will be very easy. The exception is if you're a super, duper great catch (to Leo). In that case, don't bother with #2 because Leo will just hang onto the relationship even tighter. The worst thing you can do at this point is raise Leo's suspicions that a dumping is around the corner or those paws will dig in and the Lion or Lioness will refuse to be "convinced" that breaking up is for the best. When all else fails, cease all forms of physical affection and that will have the Leo sealing the breakup deal faster than you can spell G-E-T L-O-S-T.

Since Sagittarius appreciates and respects honesty, you can breakup with Sagittarius using a straightforward approach. Luckily, the famous Sagittarius sense of humor will go a long way in helping a breakup remain amicable. Sagittarius may have even been contemplating whether he or she really likes being in the relationship in the first place. This, of course, makes your job a lot easier. Sag may try to find out the reason behind your decision if the relationship is a good one to him or her. He or she will most likely play things cool by cracking some jokes about how they'll catch you in the next lifetime. To a Sag's way of thinking, the breakup provided food for thought, another life lesson learned, and yet another friend to add to his or her ever-expanding collection of buddies.

The Ex-Files

Unless you have extremely compatible personalities, don't expect to be friends with Aries after the relationship ends. As a matter of fact, don't be surprised if Aries deals with the breakup by auditioning new admirers as your replacement immediately after your breakup.

Leo makes a wonderful ex if allowed to save face during the breakup. The benefits of Leo as an ex is that his or her benevolent nature almost guarantees that you will receive help in your times of need (especially if you two share any children).

Sagittarius rarely dwells on the past, so there is great potential for you and your Sagittarius ex to be best friends even after the breakup (but only if you dealt with the situation honestly).

How has your relationship with an Aries, a Leo or a Sagittarius ended? Did the end of your relationship with a fire sign leave you feeling extinguished or ablaze? If you're an Aries, Leo or Sagittarius, how do YOU prefer to breakup?

How to Break Up With a Water Sign (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces)

How to Break Up With an Earth Sign (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn)

How to Break Up With An Air Sign (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius)

Welcome Astrology Fans!

2009-12-08T16:19:00.000-08:00

I have been sitting on the idea of starting an astrology blog for a couple years because I wasn't sure how often I wanted to write about astrology...

Meanwhile, I have also been studying and practicing astrology to the point where I find myself relating almost everything in life to astrology. And I need some type of outlet for those musings. So here we go.

My hope is that this is a place where astrology fans - new and old - can muse with me, so subscribe and enjoy the ride! :-)

By the way, this blog is definitely in the beta stage, so all suggestions for the type of content you want to see are welcome.

Contact me:
1. In the comments section
2. By email: jazzzyone@gmail.com (w/ 3 z's)
3. Via Twitter: Jazzzyone

Have a specific astrology-related question? Ask me here.

While you're here, check out this blog's first astrology-related post: How to Break Up With a Fire Sign (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius).

Catch up with my astrology-related posts from my other blog - Random Rhyme Reason:

10 Best Astrology Resources for Beginners
So...I'm a Sheep With Cancer?
My Moods (A Stargazer's Poetry)
How to Break Up With a Water Sign (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) -Part 1
How to Break Up With an Earth Sign (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) -Part 2
How to Break Up With an Air Sign (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) -Part 3
Was Malcolm X Bisexual? (A Chart Interpretation)

And my guest posts on other astrology blogs:

Venus in Love, Mars in Heat
Loving an Immature Leo
Should Taurus Woman Commit to Scorpio Man?