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What Type of Glasses Do You Wear to See the World?

"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." ~ Anais Nin

"Creatures of a very particular making, we need to know the cultural blinders that narrow our world view as well as the psychological blinders that narrow our view of our personal experience." ~ Christina Baldwin

  
 Yesterday, I was watching a panel discuss the 35th anniversary of the publishing of "The Black Book" and had a few epiphanies.


"The Black Book" is a black Bible of sorts, a historical collection of the African-American experience beginning with slavery (this irks me, but that's another blog post for another time) through the present. Because the book reflects the African-American experience, it is weighed down by tales of unbelievable horror as well as uplifted with stories of triumph. That is the full range of our experience in America, and it's also a reflection of America's broader history.

There are five panelists: 4 blacks, 1 (?); 3 women, 2 men; estimated age ranges are 20's to 70's (1 in her 20's, male and female in their 30's, 1 in her 40's and 1 in his 70's).

The five people are: Roscoe Brown, member of the Tuskegee Airmen and president emeritus of Bronx Community College; Ilyasah Shabazz, author, activist, and daughter of Malcolm X and Dr. Betty Shabazz; journalist, author, and cultural critic Toure; and Rebecca Sando, daughter of Ernest Smith, the co-editor of The Black Book.

Ok, now that we have established pieces of their backgrounds (i.e. prisms), let me get to the point...

As I watched the program, I noticed that two of the panelists are working from a "positive" world view, while two of the panelists are working from a "negative" world view. The moderator & editor of the 35th anniversary edition of the book, Porscha Burke, is adequately neutral. Fair & balanced, right?

The first pair of optimistic v. pessimistic is the women panelists.  The first quote that resonated with me came from Ilyasah Shabazz: "In my household, you were either an activist or a victim. There were no victims. Just like we drink water, we help someone." I'm not sure of Ilyasah's birth info (and don't feel like looking it up), but she has the regal bearing and cat-like features of a person with Leo rising. This is usually the rising sign of a person who's born into a privileged position within the family. I have read her autobiography and can say with certainty that she has an upbeat attitude towards life. Unfortunately, I didn't even catch any quotes from Rebecca Sando because her droning, whiny voice hurt my ears too much for me to focus on her specifics. The gist of her comments are blacks don't know our history and should and it was hard to get the original book published.

So that leaves optimistic Mr. Roscoe Brown and pessimistic Toure.  Mr. Roscoe Brown gleefully describes "The Black Book" as "something that can boost our egos!" Imagine that - a man who has faced blatant racism that's in our history books sees mostly positive in a book about the AA experience. On the other hand, Toure interrupts Mr. Brown to point out that the majority of the book is heartbreaking and his favorite part is a story of police brutality.

This is where I became quite frustrated with what I was seeing and hearing...and it was the catalyst to one of my mini-epiphanies. Every time Mr. Brown tried to cheer himself (and me) up with a happy tale of what our race has accomplished, here comes Toure with a sad tale of how frustrated he is with racism. Why is it that a man who has relatively little to complain about in terms of race is doing most of the complaining? He's eating regularly, not homeless, not living from check to check, has a nice job, a healthy family, etc. (unlike Rebecca Sando who has the opposite life as she described in one of her gloomy comments). I don't know Toure personally, but I'm willing to bet my entire life savings that he has not experienced the level of in-your-face-racism that Mr. Brown has experienced. But here he is...singing that tired "nobody knows the trouble I've seen" song.

Two years ago, I had the pleasure of meeting a Tuskegee Airman at a nursing home in Georgia. His wisdom, positive attitude about his harrowing experiences as a pilot, and enthusiasm to help us campaign for then-presidential candidate Barack Obama inspired me during those times when my body ached and my spirit was low. His stories also put my complaints into proper perspective. I got the same feeling while watching Mr. Brown interact with Toure.

I viewed this program with my mother and a friend. We all agreed that Toure is whiny.  As we all nodded and made fun of his whining, I realized that I feel this way quite a bit with people who stubbornly refuse to see any bright side to any situation. The cultural blinder through which I'm viewing the world prevents me from seeing the cup as half-empty 100% of the time.

Both my father and mother are "positive thinkers" who taught me that the world's possibilities are limitless. The implied message I took away from my childhood is that, if I have a problem, then it's probably my fault for not thinking of an adequate solution or working hard enough to exploit life's bountiful offerings. These teachings are clearly reflected in the condition of my ascendant.

Our ascendant (or rising sign) is the pair of glasses that we wear throughout life, which tints our view of objective reality. The different types of views can be generally summarized by using the 4 elements: fire (optimistic, enterprising); earth (practical, materialistic); air (theoretical, abstract); water (emotional; receptive).  We were gifted with these life glasses at birth. We inherited a certain type of parents, a birth order, a family culture, an income level, a geographical location, the attitudes and norms that we learn through the process of socialization, and so on.  All of these inheritances are represented in our charts by the placement of our ascendant and its relation to the rest of our horoscope.

As I watched this panel discussion, I began to suspect that Mr. Brown's Rising is in a fire sign. Regardless of the topic, he quickly found the upside and he has a beaming smile that hasn't dimmed with age. I also began to suspect that Toure's Rising is a water sign (or modified by water influence). Almost every comment that he makes has an emotional or victim tinge to it. The first story he tells is of how there will never be an end to racism (or his complaining about race? gah!), then of being attacked on Twitter for his beliefs (not exactly the same as the government refusing to let you fight for your country, eh?), then being attacked for having a non-black wife, then not being able to speak about race in his family because of the painful emotions it elicits from his grandmother, then...you get the point.

Someone with an ascendant in a water sign feels their way through life, soaking up all of the emotional undercurrents of each experience and each new atmosphere. This person would get very frustrated with people who don't get the mood or feeling of an experience. They're attracted to people who can commiserate with them and they might go into repeat mode until their emotions are validated.

While a part of me understands where he's coming from, another part of me was saying "Come on! Life isn't that bad! Do you want some cheese with that whine?" The part of me that relates to him is my Sun and Moon in water signs. On some level, I can empathize with his glaring "stuck in the past" way of viewing life. He seems to me to be very much emotionally affected by his childhood. He carries those memories with him like a turtle carries its home on its back.  The part of me that's breaking out the violin to play a lively ditty for him is my Sagittarius rising. While I absorb most experiences at a very deep emotional level and retain negative experiences like a pregnant woman holds onto water, my background tells me that I should look for the silver lining in every cloud (Sagittarius is full of upbeat cliches). Therefore, I become very uncomfortable around "downers".  It's as if they are breaking some type of universal law by being so pessimistic.

Throughout my life, I have been keenly aware of the contradiction between my inner and outer self. I used to wonder why I worry so much on the inside but inexplicably present a "happy face" to others. My habit causes many people to think that I lead a charmed life (hello Jupiter!) and have infinite words of encouragement for them, even while I'm dealing with multiple problems of my own and don't want to be bothered with their problems.

According to Skye Thomas, our Rising Sign can either reinforce or clash with our inner selves (Sun & Moon signs):

You’ve heard of a wolf in sheep’s clothing?  Discard the story behind that image and let’s just imagine a wolf that looks like a sheep.  In astrology, we would say that his Sun Sign is that of the Wolf and that his Rising Sign is that of the Sheep.  No, Wolf and Sheep are not real zodiac signs.  I am just using them to illustrate a point.  Astrologically speaking, this is not a case of the wolf trying to deceive us.  He simply has been born with sheep’s clothing and that is initially how people see him.  It takes a while to get to know him and realize that he actually is a wolf deep down inside.  In the same way that the inner yolk is very different from the outer shell, they are both part of what makes up the nature of the egg.  Such is the dynamic with Sun Signs and Rising Signs...(snip).

Sometimes knowing someone’s Rising Sign clashes with their Sun Sign helps us to realize that they do not mean to come across as such a confusing contradiction.  Not all wolves in sheep’s clothing are intentionally deceitful.  Some sheep just have the spirit of a wolf deep down inside of them. - Source

We tend to attract friends, lovers and situations into our lives based on our rising sign. In other words, not only is our view of the world filtered through the lenses of our rising sign, but our life experiences tend to reinforce this view because they are both pre-destined and we actively seek them out. If we encounter evidence that challenges our version of "reality", we can dismiss it either unconsciously (by not "seeing" it) or consciously (by arguing its validity).

Because of my happy-go-lucky demeanor, I tend to attract - and gravitate towards - other positive thinkers (or people who believe they should be positive thinkers). When I see these people (who the universe has chosen to put in my path and I have chosen to accept into my life) take risks and win, that reinforces my view that a.) life is what you make it and b.) nothing ventured, nothing gained. Is this objectively true? Maybe. Maybe not. But objective truth doesn't matter to us much, does it?  As the saying goes: "Perception is reality."  Most of the time, my rosy-colored glasses block out those times when my loved ones or I don't win our gambles. Or my glasses help me justify the gamble by finding the lesson learned, so "it's really not that bad...at least we're wiser for it!" I also have Neptune, the planet of illusion, in my 1st house of self-identity so I view the world with glasses that always have an extra layer on them. However, I also have squares to my Ascendant from planets and lights in Virgo - the facts-and-figures sign that acts as a cleaning kit for my all-is-beautiful! Sagittarius glasses.

So it's no wonder that my mother, friend and I were all sitting around diminishing Toure's point of view. We all have our risings in compatible signs (air and fire), so there was a bit of groupthink going on. Does this mean that Toure's point of view is any less valid? No. But us positive-thinkers are less likely to be attracted to, and understanding of, his view of the world. It wasn't until he began to tell the story of how race is considered a taboo subject in his household that I began to shift my attitude towards him. In my early childhood experiences, race was a welcome subject in every class at school, for the car ride home from school, at the dinner table and in my prayers at night. Whenever I heard Toure express his views before, I always viewed him as a whiner because...who doesn't know that there are racial problems in this country? How many times are you going to state the obvious, man? Haven't we discussed race enough for three more lifetimes? Apparently, not in his childhood home. So for him, every time that he discusses race, he is venturing outside of his comfort zone and challenging his family's way of handling this complex subject.  And, because race was a taboo subject in his home, he's wearing the glasses that tell him race is not talked about enough in any home.  Insert his life (or career) purpose: to see and discuss race at almost every turn.

My Sagittarius glasses tell me that it's necessary to always break new ground, to explore and discover uncharted territories. For me, race is old ground. All of the social critics that I have heard since I was a child have already planted their flags all over the place. As I thought through this, it became clearer to me why his glasses annoy me and I want to knock them off of his face.

When I was younger, I used to have 20/20 vision.  I was very curious about what my friends with glasses were seeing, so I would always try them on (despite many warnings from wiser adults!).  I still remember how blurry objects became with one pair, how magnified objects became with another.  Even though I was curious about their point of view, I didn't like to wear their glasses for very long. Several minutes in their glasses was quite long enough for me to understand where they were coming from.  It's very disconcerting to view the world with someone else's prescription glasses. I still remember that feeling of relief when I took their glasses off and the world became "right" again.

Ironically, at 16 years old, I developed astigmatism that caused near-sightedness. The astigmatism runs in my maternal side of the family. People with less optimistic rising signs may look at this as bad karma for not heeding earlier warnings. However, I viewed it as the opportunity to look "smarter" and fend off people who don't find intelligence attractive. A win-win says my Venus in Gemini! I would wear my glasses when I didn't need them (e.g. while reading in the library) and not wear them when I probably should have (e.g. to recognize someone from afar that I wanted to avoid).

The funny thing about my family's type of astigmatism is that our vision transforms from the ages of 16 - 25, then it returns to what it was in our childhood. I'm sure there's a metaphor in there somewhere...

Sagittarius rising with Neptune in the 1st house goggles. 

Welcome to my world.

Leo rising mirror. 

Most of my friends have Leo risings. Pretty obvious why we're compatible, right? lol

What type of glasses do you wear to see the world? 

Related posts:
Blacks v. Whites = Pisces v. Gemini


Purchase or preview "The Black Book".

New to astrology? Find out your ascendant with an interpretation.

On Hiatus...or Twiatus

An Astro Exercise: As you read this, try to figure out what sign(s) my Moon and Mercury is in (if you don't already know). 

I'm taking a break from "social networking".

More specifically, I'm taking a break from networking with random people on Twitter. For free. For the purposes of entertainment or curiosity. (In other words, I'm still doing it when there's a check involved.)

Normally, I keep my online social networking un-networked and very compartmentalized. Facebook is for friends and family to stay connected. Twitter is for strangers - preferably friendly strangers...

But that's not always the case, now is it?

Last May, I created a Twitter account to maximize the time I devote to catching up on the goings-on of the world. I discovered that I could search for anything and I'll get an entire stream of news on anything. A news junkie's paradise, right?

Or so I thought.

A friend encouraged me for months to join Twitter, but I wasn't convinced. That is...until we watched the White House Correspondent's Dinner on C-Span and I saw tweets scrolling across the bottom of the screen. The narcissist in my head whispered that she had some thoughts to share, too. Wouldn't you like to see your thoughts on there, too?! Yes, yes I would. So I created an account, typed in some random thoughts to see them stream across C-Span. I couldn't see them, so I began typing in more for testing purposes.

We figured out that if we click on #nerdprom, we could see the White House Correspondent Dinner tweets and I might see mine.

I read and laughed and typed.

Then I saw this number to my right.

Me: What are followers?

Friend: I don't know.

Me: The number keeps going up.

Within 30 minutes, I was at 65 before I finally figured out that these were people who "subscribed" to reading what I typed.

After the #WHCD was over, I didn't have much else to write. My Twitter purpose was fulfilled.

But then I saw #unfollowdiddy.

Anyone who knows me well knows how I feel about Diddy. I had years of bitterness stored up about some of my favorite artists getting a raw deal from this career-killer soul-snatcher "businessman".

So I had a lot of #unfollowdiddy material in me...

Then I learned how to reply to people who wrote to me.

And just like that, Twitter became an episode of the Twilight Zone where a wish fulfilled turns into a nightmare. The more I read, the more I thought. The more I thought, the more I commented. The more I commented, the more people paid attention and replied. I couldn't hide away as just a reader while on "stage".

Twitter began to feel like my public online diary - a place to deposit my thoughts in bitesize form to remind me of certain events in my life.

I didn't expect complete strangers to care about what I thought. But they did.

They told me to put up a picture so I wouldn't be mistaken as a "bot".

I didn't plan to be on Twitter for long, so I asked my friend what picture to use. Her suggestion? "Use mine!"

She's a sociology grad student who was studying the effects of social media on American pop culture and business.  I love sociology, so I was game.

As weeks went by, I actually found myself enjoying the people that I conversed with on Twitter. After my friend's research was done, I decided to become a permanent presence and changed my picture to reflect me. Some shallow people felt betrayed. Most didn't. I never said the picture was of me so *shrug*. I'm a strong proponent of letting people believe what they want to believe when it's not an important subject matter to me.

Anyyyyway...That was 8 months and 30k+ thousand tweets ago.

Since May '09, I've had some wonderful and enlightening conversations, "met" some great people, beefed with some and caught a few headaches.

But now...it's time for a break (and here's why). At least for awhile.

As with any break up, I like to leave on a good note to prevent Bag Lady Syndrome by reviewing the positives.

Thanks to Twitter, I got over my fear of sharing some of my inner truths with others, of speaking (well, writing) my mind before shit hits the fan.  Fellow tweeters congratulated, reinforced and challenged my views. All of this allowed me to see other perspectives - something I get in abundance in "real life" by necessity (work) or from family and friends who enjoy playing the devil's advocate. However, in all of these offline circumstances, there's a line that none of us cross...because we want to maintain our relationships.

But with strangers, there's no line. Or maybe the line is invisible.

Through Twitter, I was able to see how far I would go with people who I violently disagree with and see how far they would go with me. As my mom likes to say, I'm a "show me" person. I'm not satisfied with just "knowing" something. I want to KNOW it. The only way to KNOW something is to test my hypotheses. And then I form theories based on the results of my experiments. The experiment can last for 10 seconds or a few weeks. But at the end of the day, I learned something that I will remember and apply going forward.

Twitter also encouraged me to restart blogging. I've been a writer for as long as I can remember. I began writing in my first journal at 8 years old. To others, I was a happy child who had many friends, performed well in school, was in many extracurricular activities.  But my journal was my real best friend. The one who kept all of my secrets and never judged me - even when I judged myself.  And I could count on it repeating back to me what I was feeling verbatim - an archive of my feelings, thoughts, life moments! My journal is my friend that just listens to me, without needing me to first listen for hours at a time, without expecting me to come up with the right encouraging words to make it feel better. All it wanted in return for its friendship is to be used and cherished. Done and done!

It was my first - and only - truly reciprocal and balanced relationship.

Just the thought of anyone reading my thoughts was enough to send shivers down my back. Oh, you should have seen the security system I rigged up to make sure that never happened!

So I thank Twitter for providing me with a place online to share my thoughts - though not exactly a safe place, it is one full of immediate feedback from random psychos.

But I'll be going back to my old way of getting soundbite news.

In the meanwhile, I'll continue to share my random thoughts about life here and on my other blog.

Random Readers, if you're interested in reading and sharing your thoughts, too, then that's great.

If you want to keep in touch with me, let me know in the comments section and I'll give you my contact info.

But even if you don't want to read my thoughts or contact me, I'll still be here - writing until the world makes sense to me.

Astro Exercise: My Moon is in Scorpio. My Mercury is in Leo. Did you guess correctly? What clues gave it away? If you also have Mercury in Leo, check out how to use it to your advantage.

Astro Note: PDiddy is a Scorpio with Leo rising. I wonder why he irks me so...? :-P

BONUS:

Want to publish your first 3200 tweets or keep them as a souvenir? Click here.

Astrology Is More Than Just Your Zodiac Sign (And It's NOT a Religion)

 

When I first started learning about astrology, I was on a mission to better understand myself. Scratch that. I understood myself pretty well. I was on a mission to understand why I do what I do and feel how I feel.

Astrology wasn't the beginning of my road to self-discovery but it sure was the most enlightening lamppost along the way.

I always find it strange when people say they don't "believe" in astrology - as if it's a religion or a philosophy. Just like I find it strange when people say they don't "believe" in psychology. Just like I find it strange when people say they don't "believe" in evolution or some other scientific discovery. Frankly, not "believing" in something doesn't make the something invalid or untrue. It just means that the knowledge base (or belief system) that you're working with does not include, or conflicts with, what you don't "believe" in.

To me, not "believing" in astrology, psychology or science is the same as not "believing" that 2 + 2 = 4. Maybe the non-believer doesn't know how to count. Maybe the non-believer doesn't know what 2, 4, + or = means. If there's no meaning, then there's no understanding. Without understanding, there's no faith in the meaning. Belief is a tricky, circular bastard.

What made you travel down this line of thought?

Out of curiosity, I was looking up interpretations for a friend's baby on a site that specializes in baby interpretations. The site is one of the first ones that I discovered way back when...so I decided to re-read some interpretations to compare them to my own interpretations of certain placements and came across a familiar one:

Saturn in the ninth house of higher education, philosophy, religion and travel denotes a stable and practical philosophy of life. The placement explains the chief reason that you are probably not one who can easily accept concepts such as astrology. You are highly orthodox in religion, education, and business. You hold to both the letter and spirit of the law. You are very exacting and focused, possessing very strong administrative skills, especially in the fields of religion, education, publishing, or the law. You are likely to be politically conservative. - Source

The 9th house is the area of our horoscopes that describe our beliefs, conclusions and reflections on our experiences of the world. This is my Saturn placement - and parts of the interpretation could not be further from the truth even if it tried harder. Obviously, I'm very taken with astrology.  I'm not at all religious, let alone do I hold any "orthodox" religious views. While I do love the law, I'm very much a gray-area type of person when it comes to interpreting and applying the law. As a matter of fact, I get rather frustrated with people who hold on to the letter of the law while disregarding the spirit of the law (see "Les Miserables"). I have a very generous respect for tradition and institutions such as universities, government, marriage, etc., but I also constantly question their purpose or practical usefulness in my life and the lives of others.

Which leads me to my advice to people who are just starting out in astrology: Read "cookbook" interpretations of placements and aspects with extreme caution. Remember that these are general descriptions that don't take into account the rest of a person's birth chart. 

Using the above example:

In general, Saturn in the 9th house does indicate a person who fits the above description. However, this description becomes less applicable after taking the rest of the chart into consideration: an active 8th house; the ruler of the 9th house in the 8th house; a heavily-aspected Uranus; Uranus and Saturn co-ruling the 3rd house of communication and thought processing; the rulers of the 3rd house are in the 12th and 9th houses...and more. The 8th house is associated with interests in metaphysics, depth psychology and investigation. An "8th house person" is highly likely to want to understand the motives of people and isn't afraid to dig deep for the answers. Uranus is the rebel planet and is more than willing to follow an unorthodox path. Uranus wants to rock (and maybe even tip over) the boat that traditional Saturn painstakingly built to float upright. Also, Uranus rules astrology.

With these extra chart tidbits, it should become clearer (and easier to "guess") that this particular Saturn-in-9th-house person actually welcomes astrology and naturally questions/challenges the status quo rather than follows a predictable mental route or conventional life philosophy.

Knowing all of these extras is important because the details modify the bigger picture. The more details we have, the more personalized the description gets. (By the way, that belief is reflective of a 9th house Saturn in Virgo in a Jupiter-ruled chart.)

In other words, you are not just your Sun (zodiac/star) sign!!! And you are not just your Moon in ___ , Mercury in ____ , etc. (I now understand why so many advanced astrologers want to tear their hair out at pop culture's over-emphasis on Sun signs when referring to astrology. But I guess everyone's gotta start somewhere. I view Sun sign astrology as the gateway stereotype. lol)

Wrapping up... Before "disbelieving" or writing astrology off because it doesn't seem to accurately describe you, someone or something, ask the following questions:

1.) Who is interpreting?

2.) How much specific information does the interpreter have?

3.) How much of the interpretation is based on theory v. real world application/experience? 

4.) What types of biases are coloring the interpretation?

Now that that's out of the way, hey baby...

BONUS:
The Meaning of Astrology - Cosmic Counsel from a non-astrological perspective
Gotta Have Faith: The Story Of A Tested 9th House
Saturn in Virgo Journey to a Complaint-Free World

The Moon & Nurturing: Balancing Motherhood With Life

Lately, I've been catching up with some friends who have children under 2 years old. Last night, they were discussing the joys and pains of motherhood. Having no children, I mostly listened and took mental reference notes.

Friend 1 is sad about not having enough time to spend with her child because of work. She's worried about her ability to be a good mom.

Friend 2 loves work and feels guilty for not spending more time with her child, then rebellious about how "society's expectations" makes her feel guilty for preferring to be at work.

Friend 3 is a stay-at-home mom / part-time student who wants to spend all of her time with her two children, but is upset that people see her as unambitious for wanting to be a full-time mother.

We know that the Moon represents, among other things, the type of nurturing we received as children and our ability to nurture ourselves and the people in our lives. 

When I took a closer look at their charts, I noticed that most of my friends who were expressing doubts, frustrations, etc. have some type of Moon-Saturn and/or Moon-Uranus connection.

Seems to me that Moon-Saturn aspects manifests as a feeling of having to sacrifice pieces of oneself for children or to live according to social, cultural or familial obligations. Moon-Uranus aspects describe a yearning for freedom and/or resisting the routine that raising a child in a "healthy" environment requires.

Of course, there are ways to resolve these tensions.

The Moon-Saturn mother can learn to honor her own wishes despite what others think of her. Or she can find a way to carve out an identity that is separate from her role as a mother by discovering her personal ambitions. If she so chooses, she can then blend those personal ambitions with her mother role (though without becoming a stage mother or a smotherer!).

The Moon-Uranus mother can learn to carve out some alone-time in her day to pursue her independent interests, which may prevent the "sucked in", overwhelmed or restricted feeling that comes from having someone depend on her for survival. Perhaps the Moon-Uranus mother's children are independent enough to value a mother who gives them a long leash or has a Mary Poppins-like idea of childrearing.

Yep, I'm taking very good notes because I also have one of these aspects, which I "inherited" from my mom, grandmother, great-grandmother and...so on.
 
Related posts:
New Rule: Don't Raise An Other People's Kid

New to astrology? Find out what sign your Moon is in and how it describes your nurturing nature.