Dear Virgos,
I'm interrupting the post I'm working on about Geminis and Pisceans in order to address my issue with you, the mutable sign that alternately annoys and challenges me to no end.
A couple weeks ago, I wrote about reducing my complaints because:
1. It's a temporary fix to a problem.
2. It's contagious.
But after reading this post about people who complain without plans to change their situation, I decided to write about my beef with you and then let it go message-in-a-bottle-style - hopefully to never revisit it again.
Excerpt from my comment:
I was just thinking this a couple days ago when a friend called me and started the conversation with "I've talked about this with So and So but it's still bothering me..." That was a red flag that this is about to be an unproductive venting session. Because I'm sure that So and So had some good suggestions and/or woo-woo available before this problem landed on my phone.
Sometimes I think people manufacture problems to discuss because they don't want to discuss the REAL problem. Because the manufactured problem can't really be the problem. It's so small and easily fixable.
I love how you make it clear that you're willing to help build and execute a plan for CHANGE (i.e. brainstorming a solution) rather than be someone's free therapist.
I now charge for my services after the first free session. :)
Solution: Maybe our friends need a blog as an emotional outlet.
The friend on my mind when I wrote that comment? A Virgo. She called me to discuss a problem at work. Her co-worker doesn't like her. This co-worker has no power over her, has no potential to gain power over her in the future, and has no influence with anyone who currently has power over her. So...this problem isn't major by the standards of threatening her job security. She's basically dealing with a hater. Apparently, for the first time in her life (which is totally understandable, because she's the sweetest person on the face of this earth).
So after figuring out that this is not a life-or-job-threatening problem, I told her that I have 30 minutes to talk.
Translation: You have 30 minutes' worth of empathy/woo-woo/problem-solving from me before my mind glazes over and the cryptic, pithy part of my personality takes over. In other words, if we're still talking about the same issue after 30 minutes, my patience will have worn thin and you're gonna start hearing some hard truths about this situation.
I've known this friend for over 10 years and am very familiar with her way of processing her emotions (Moon in Capricorn trine Mercury in Virgo). She must talk her feelings out. She knows this. I know this. Her husband knows this. Her sister knows this. Everyone who knows her knows this. She's a sweetheart who always lends us a compassionate ear so we all try to share the burden of hearing her process her feelings ad nauseum.
But it's so freaking annoying listening to someone analyze the minutiae of a problem from here to Sunday and back again. I don't WANT to be annoyed but the truth is that I AM annoyed by this habit.
She is not the only Virgo in my life that does this.
I have a long list - *unrolling a scroll* - that includes, but is not limited to: 4 aunts, a stepmother, close friends, acquaintances, former managers, co-workers.
And this is not counting the people in my life who have prominent Virgo in their charts via a strongly placed planet in Virgo or house ruled by Virgo/Mercury.
The endless analysis is the more endearing Virgoan quality.
Let's talk about the less endearing Virgo quality: your stalkerific tendencies.
Since I have quite a few Virgo stalkers, let's just call the first one Virgo Stalker 1.
I met Virgo Stalker 1 in 1998 through a mutual Sagittarius (aka Sagittarius Stalker 1) friend. Virgo Stalker 1 developed a crush on me. I did not feel the same way about him but I was fond of him in a non-romantic way. I thought we were developing a nice platonic friendship. Little did naive me know at the time that a Virgo man's form of seduction is becoming the best straight-gay friend a woman can have: We shopped. We dined. We attended cultural events. We took vacations. A lovely time was had by all.
Until one day, three years into this platonic groove, Virgo Stalker 1 decided to take our friendship to the next level by molesting me in my sleep (after he picked me up from the airport and I laid my jet-lagged body down at his place in the middle of the early a.m. for a catnap before going home). When I woke up and realized what he was doing, I immediately told him to take me to my car (which was parked in a longterm garage). I did not talk to him during the car ride (conserving my energy in case I had to jump out of the car or beat his ass) even though he peppered me with constant apologies and "are you mad at me's?".
That was eight years ago.
Throughout those eight years since The Incident, he has persistently contacted me using every digital form that he can find. A few years ago, he got super proactively stalkerific and invited himself to a BBQ thrown by my then-boyfriend. How did he find out about this BBQ that was held over 100 MILES away from where he lives? From our mutual Sagittarius Stalker 1 friend. So he has accomplices. Virgo Stalker 1 tried to get me to talk to him at the park in front of friends and family after I made it extremely clear to him many times that we are no longer friends. So he knows how I feel and just ignores my feelings and the boundaries I set for our dissolved friendship. A HUGE no-no to me (and the law of the state that I currently reside in ).
To short-cut this story, let's just fast forward through all of Virgo Stalker 1's many attempts to contact me to his most recent attempt via Facebook - the stalker's handiest accessory:
Hello Jara hope you are doing fine I just wanted to say hi and see if you would like to have lunch with my wife my little girl and I. I told my wife a lot about you and how you were the best friend I ever had. I have always said maybe if I may never find a real friend like you in my life time just wanted you to know that.
Virgo Stalker 1
Um...no, I don't think you want me to have lunch with you, your wife and little girl. I think this man has forgotten that I can be loose-lipped when angry. We wouldn't want your wife knowing about how you broke the law with me (and several other women from what I hear), now would we? I'm two messages away from calling law enforcement on him.
Virgo Stalker 1 was my first stalker (as an adult). But he sure wasn't the last. Since him, I've had several others (who are no doubt lurking/reading this now). And you know what they all have in common? If you answered "a few planets in Virgo", then you would be correct!
I can deal with your endless, annoying analysis of the smallest of details, Virgo. But I cannot deal with your obsessive reaction to me breaking up our acquaintanceship/friendship/relationship.
I admit that once I've had enough of someone, I abruptly cut him or her off like any self-respecting, Scorpio-influenced person can do. But I believe in laying my cards on the table as the first step to repair a damaged relationship. You are much too observant not to have noticed this as the warning that it is.
So why do you act surprised (and innocent) when I ignore you?
Trust me, being ignored is much better than the alternative, Virgo stalkers.
For your sake, I hope that you can learn to get over me not liking you and wanting as much distance between us as possible.
Or else it will get real ugly, real fast.
To the endearingly sweet yet slightly neurotic Virgos: call/text/email/tweet/update me.
You get 30 minutes.
Sincerely,
Jara
QUESTIONS: Am I way off on Virgo's stalker tendencies? Do you have a Virgo stalker? Share your experiences (and tips to get rid of them). If you're a reformed Virgo stalker, what keeps you from obsessing over the objects of your fascination? Or if you're reading this from a prison library, have you learned your lesson?
New to astrology? Learn how to spot a Virgo , how to spot an insane Virgo and how to break up with a Virgo.
It must be an epidemic: another Virgo Stalker story.
Virgo Celebrities I Love/Think Are Sexy: Michael Jackson, Idris Elba, Blair Underwood, Paul Walker, Jr., Beyonce, Sanaa Lathan.
Check out this video of Virgos, scored to "Virgo" by Virgo rappers Doug E. Fresh, Nas and Ludacris.
