World's Longest Marriage: Opposites Attract (And Can Last!) - Part 1

Yesterday, I read about an engagement announcement between Capricorn and Cancer.  My first reaction was to doubt the longevity of this relationship, but this marriage just may have a chance (if it can overcome having two celebrities in it, that is). We've all heard the "opposites attract" cliche, right? When we think of opposites, we tend to think of two people, concepts, or things that are polarized and share nothing in common.

However, in astrological terms, opposites represent the two sides of the same coin.  Opposite signs have similar values and life purposes but usually disagree on the strategies and tactics to use to reach their goals. When two people with opposite Sun (zodiac) signs attract, their souls are drawn to each other in order to learn how to compromise. If they don't master the art of negotiation, then the relationship ends. But if both of them can find a way to think of the bigger "we" picture instead of viewing each other as opponents, then these karmic relationships can last a very long time.

For example...

As of 2009, Gemini Herbert and Sagittarius Zelmyra Fisher hold the Guinness World Record for the longest marriage of any living couple. On May 13, 2010, they will celebrate their 86th year of marriage.  




This couple is a good case of how opposites attract and can stay together if they both have effective relationship skills, which include the ability to maximize their similarities and negotiate their differences.

Herbert and Zelmyra's 8 Similarities & Differences

1. They both said they shared the title of "boss." 

Even though they were married almost 50 years before the heyday of the U.S. feminism movement, Herbert and Zelmyra managed to come to an agreement on their marriage expectations that defied their era. Gemini and Sagittarius are progressive signs that naturally "think outside the box", so it's not a surprise that they redefined society's gender roles to create a marriage that works for them. Zelmyra's Moon is in Aquarius (at 29 degrees), so I imagine she comes from a long line of unconventional women who live by their own rules. In 2010, we have a lot to learn from these two about embracing our uniqueness within relationships.

2. Both are family-oriented

In 1942, Herbert built the couple's home where they have resided for over 50 years. His Neptune in Cancer envisioned a secure home and his Moon-Jupiter trine in earth signs illustrates his ability to turn his dreams into a practical gift for his family, with help from a square to Pluto in Gemini for focused determination.

The couple have 5 children, 10 grandchildren, nine great-grandchildren and four great-great grandchildren. Now this is a surprise. Gallivanting Gemini and seeker Sagittarius managed to stay in one place long enough to create stable roots for a large family? (Think Gemini Angelina Jolie and Sagittarius Brad Pitt.)

They are both adamantly against divorce yet are shocked at the length of their marriage (me too!):

Herbert, 104, is amazed at their longevity. “I didn’t know I would be married this long,” he says. 

“I didn’t know it would be as long as it is now,” she says of her 85 years with the same man. “I knew that I wouldn’t be looking for another husband.”

3. Shared money values

According to their children, Herbert and Zelmyra are both excellent savers:

Those bad times include the lean years of the Great Depression when Herbert worked for as little as a nickel a day. They had to raise their own food and ration it for their young children. Perhaps those difficult years bonded and empowered them to remain married for so long.

"They were excellent parents," said Norma Godette. "We were poor, but we didn't do without a thing. If he had two cents he saved one cent."

Herbert worked as a mechanic at the Coca-Cola Bottling Company in New Bern for 35 years.

He took a bicycle, caught a cab or had a neighbor drive him to work.
That hard work and savings put all five of the children through college.

Hard-working & money-saving aren't exactly the two adjectives that first come to mind when I think of Gemini and Sagittarius, but Herbert and Zelmyra obviously defy their Sun sign stereotypes. These two signs are notorious spendthrifts who live for today and worry about tomorrow when it comes. Perhaps the only signs that have them beat on short-sighted spending is adventurous Aries and luxury-loving Leo.

So what gives?

Both have Venus in security-conscious earth signs. Herbert has Venus in Taurus sextile Saturn in Pisces. He demonstrated a strong work ethic to his children without being severe.  With her Venus-Uranus conjunction in Capricorn, no doubt Zelmyra assisted by offering Herbert some good investment advice over the years.

4. Similar hobbies 

They are fond of television news programs, and Herbert especially likes watching his favorite baseball team, the Atlanta Braves. They also take pleasure in sitting on their front porch to watch neighbors come and go and railroad trains whisk by.

Both Gemini and Sagittarius are observers. Gemini likes to connect the dots between various opinions and concepts, while Sagittarius develops theories about why people do what they do. An hour of watching neighbors probably leads to an entire week's worth of discussion.

5. Different daily routine preferences

Now that the children are grown, the Fishers enjoy having a bedroom for each. Herbert Fisher can stay up until the last ball is thrown in the ballgame he is watching. And he does.

Herbert has Mars in ultra-competitive Scorpio, which explains why he enjoys watching sports while his wife (with Mars in gentle Pisces) rejuvenates through solitary rest. They both have Venus-Uranus aspects, making it easier for them to accept their spouse's quirks.

6. Both are spiritual...but with different sets of beliefs and practices

Besides family, God and the church have been ever-present in the Fishers’ lives. They have maintained memberships at separate houses of worship during their marriage. She belongs to Jones Chapel African Methodist Episcopal Zion Church; he’s a member of Pilgrim Chapel Missionary Baptist Church. Both are in James City, the close-knit community where they grew up together.

 They go their own ways on Sunday morning. She reads the Bible daily.

Many couples find it difficult to maintain satisfying inter-religious marriages, but these two developed a way to work around this issue. Stereotypical Geminis are not very spiritual but Herbert has a Moon in Virgo trine Jupiter in Taurus. Trines and sextiles to Jupiter indicate a spiritual, philosophically generous person. He enjoys the more traditional Baptist religion with rules that are less open to interpretation. On the other hand, Zelmyra has a Sun-Jupiter trine in fire signs, which also indicates that she has a highly evolved spiritual outlook on life. However, her idea of religion is obviously quite different from Herbert's. Sagittarius enjoys "foreign" cultures and appreciates religious practices that are tolerant, promotes diversity and progressive. AME is less traditional than Baptist. They often have female ministers and racially diverse congregations. I wouldn't be surprised if Zelmyra enjoys her church because it allowed her to take the lead on projects in a time when that was rare.

7. Both have gentle natures and value niceness. 

Herbert said Zelmyra never gave him any trouble. "No, no trouble at all. We never argued, but we might have disagreed," he said.

They both have quite a bit of earth and water in their charts, revealing more placid natures than we'd first assume from a go-go-go air/fire couple. Between their charts is a tight Mars-Mars trine, indicating that they can work together without much fuss because they have similar approaches to conflict management. Mars in water signs can "hear" each other without lengthy explanations. They are very aware, and respectful, of each other's moods. Zelmyra's Mars in Pisces indicates she is skillful in the art of soft persuasion, while Herbert's Mars in Scorpio says he is the proverbial strong, silent type. A hug or some good sex probably smoothed over many a rough patch between them. ;-)

Zelmyra doesn’t attribute her long, vibrant life to healthy eating, exercise or costly nutritional supplements. Her efforts have been focused on her inner person and building relationships with others. “[You have to] know how to talk to people,” she says. “Try to treat everyone right.”

"He was not mean; he was not a fighter," Zelmrya said. "He was quiet and kind. He was not much to look at but he was sweet." 

 
A "quiet" Gemini?! I didn't believe it until I looked at his chart. :-P Although Gemini is the chatterbox of the zodiac, most of Herbert's planets are in the calmer, quieter water or earth signs.  Also, he has Mercury in Gemini conjunct Pluto in Gemini - adding weight to his words. He doesn't speak unless he has something meaningful to say. Meanwhile, Zelmyra has a Mercury-Mars square and Mercury-Saturn trine in water signs. Although she's tactful, she probably has no trouble getting her point across - forcefully if necessary. As we can see from their interviews, she's the spokesperson for the couple.

He's not much to look at, huh, Zelmyra? Hehe. Gotta love blunt Sagittarius. Neither Gemini nor Sagittarius are shallow in marriage. Both signs require a deeper connection than physical attraction to remain interested in a longterm relationship. Given the choice of a companion that is drop-dead gorgeous yet boring or an average-looking yet stimulating partner, both signs would pick the latter for a non-fling. Gemini requires a mental connection, variety of experience and separate social circles in relationships, while Sagittarius requires shared basic philosophies and the freedom to develop different ones if it so chooses.

8.  Both say that if they had it to do over, they would not change their life.

Zelmyra, 101, scorns the idea that there’s some secret to the longevity of their marriage. “No secrets,” she says. “There isn’t any secret. It was only God that kept us together.”

BONUS: Numerology says...

Both Herbert and Zelmyra are born on the 10th day of their birthday months, giving them an independent streak with a love for original approaches to life. They also both have executive leadership abilities. It's a good thing that they allow each other to share the title of "relationship boss". :)

Another married couple is on my radar: Aries Mariah Carey & Libra Nick Cannon.

Tomorrow, I'll check out what attracts these opposites to each other and predict whether or not they'll last as long as Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher.

Stay tuned...

QUESTIONS: What do you think of the Fishers? Are you as shocked as I was to find out a Gemini and Sagittarius have the longest marriage on record? Have you ever dated your opposite (by sign, personality or values)? What attracted you to that person? What were the challenges? Did you learn anything from that relationship? Of the 6 pairs of zodiac opposites, which pair do you think has the highest chance of success? Lowest chance of success?

Any other thoughts or feelings?

Sources:
Married 84 Years, And Still Loving (Sun Journal)
Couple Maintains World Record For Longest Marriage (AARP)
Craven County Minutes (pp. 4-5)