"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." ~ Anais Nin
"Creatures of a very particular making, we need to know the cultural blinders that narrow our world view as well as the psychological blinders that narrow our view of our personal experience." ~ Christina Baldwin
Yesterday, I was watching a panel discuss the 35th anniversary of the publishing of "The Black Book" and had a few epiphanies.
"The Black Book" is a black Bible of sorts, a historical collection of the African-American experience beginning with slavery (this irks me, but that's another blog post for another time) through the present. Because the book reflects the African-American experience, it is weighed down by tales of unbelievable horror as well as uplifted with stories of triumph. That is the full range of our experience in America, and it's also a reflection of America's broader history.
There are five panelists: 4 blacks, 1 (?); 3 women, 2 men; estimated age ranges are 20's to 70's (1 in her 20's, male and female in their 30's, 1 in her 40's and 1 in his 70's).
The five people are: Roscoe Brown, member of the Tuskegee Airmen and president emeritus of Bronx Community College; Ilyasah Shabazz, author, activist, and daughter of Malcolm X and Dr. Betty Shabazz; journalist, author, and cultural critic Toure; and Rebecca Sando, daughter of Ernest Smith, the co-editor of The Black Book.
Ok, now that we have established pieces of their backgrounds (i.e. prisms), let me get to the point...
As I watched the program, I noticed that two of the panelists are working from a "positive" world view, while two of the panelists are working from a "negative" world view. The moderator & editor of the 35th anniversary edition of the book, Porscha Burke, is adequately neutral. Fair & balanced, right?
The first pair of optimistic v. pessimistic is the women panelists. The first quote that resonated with me came from Ilyasah Shabazz: "In my household, you were either an activist or a victim. There were no victims. Just like we drink water, we help someone." I'm not sure of Ilyasah's birth info (and don't feel like looking it up), but she has the regal bearing and cat-like features of a person with Leo rising. This is usually the rising sign of a person who's born into a privileged position within the family. I have read her autobiography and can say with certainty that she has an upbeat attitude towards life. Unfortunately, I didn't even catch any quotes from Rebecca Sando because her droning, whiny voice hurt my ears too much for me to focus on her specifics. The gist of her comments are blacks don't know our history and should and it was hard to get the original book published.
This is where I became quite frustrated with what I was seeing and hearing...and it was the catalyst to one of my mini-epiphanies. Every time Mr. Brown tried to cheer himself (and me) up with a happy tale of what our race has accomplished, here comes Toure with a sad tale of how frustrated he is with racism. Why is it that a man who has relatively little to complain about in terms of race is doing most of the complaining? He's eating regularly, not homeless, not living from check to check, has a nice job, a healthy family, etc. (unlike Rebecca Sando who has the opposite life as she described in one of her gloomy comments). I don't know Toure personally, but I'm willing to bet my entire life savings that he has not experienced the level of in-your-face-racism that Mr. Brown has experienced. But here he is...singing that tired "nobody knows the trouble I've seen" song.
Two years ago, I had the pleasure of meeting a Tuskegee Airman at a nursing home in Georgia. His wisdom, positive attitude about his harrowing experiences as a pilot, and enthusiasm to help us campaign for then-presidential candidate Barack Obama inspired me during those times when my body ached and my spirit was low. His stories also put my complaints into proper perspective. I got the same feeling while watching Mr. Brown interact with Toure.
I viewed this program with my mother and a friend. We all agreed that Toure is whiny. As we all nodded and made fun of his whining, I realized that I feel this way quite a bit with people who stubbornly refuse to see any bright side to any situation. The cultural blinder through which I'm viewing the world prevents me from seeing the cup as half-empty 100% of the time.
Both my father and mother are "positive thinkers" who taught me that the world's possibilities are limitless. The implied message I took away from my childhood is that, if I have a problem, then it's probably my fault for not thinking of an adequate solution or working hard enough to exploit life's bountiful offerings. These teachings are clearly reflected in the condition of my ascendant.
Our ascendant (or rising sign) is the pair of glasses that we wear throughout life, which tints our view of objective reality. The different types of views can be generally summarized by using the 4 elements: fire (optimistic, enterprising); earth (practical, materialistic); air (theoretical, abstract); water (emotional; receptive). We were gifted with these life glasses at birth. We inherited a certain type of parents, a birth order, a family culture, an income level, a geographical location, the attitudes and norms that we learn through the process of socialization, and so on. All of these inheritances are represented in our charts by the placement of our ascendant and its relation to the rest of our horoscope.
As I watched this panel discussion, I began to suspect that Mr. Brown's Rising is in a fire sign. Regardless of the topic, he quickly found the upside and he has a beaming smile that hasn't dimmed with age. I also began to suspect that Toure's Rising is a water sign (or modified by water influence). Almost every comment that he makes has an emotional or victim tinge to it. The first story he tells is of how there will never be an end to racism (or his complaining about race? gah!), then of being attacked on Twitter for his beliefs (not exactly the same as the government refusing to let you fight for your country, eh?), then being attacked for having a non-black wife, then not being able to speak about race in his family because of the painful emotions it elicits from his grandmother, then...you get the point.
Someone with an ascendant in a water sign feels their way through life, soaking up all of the emotional undercurrents of each experience and each new atmosphere. This person would get very frustrated with people who don't get the mood or feeling of an experience. They're attracted to people who can commiserate with them and they might go into repeat mode until their emotions are validated.
While a part of me understands where he's coming from, another part of me was saying "Come on! Life isn't that bad! Do you want some cheese with that whine?" The part of me that relates to him is my Sun and Moon in water signs. On some level, I can empathize with his glaring "stuck in the past" way of viewing life. He seems to me to be very much emotionally affected by his childhood. He carries those memories with him like a turtle carries its home on its back. The part of me that's breaking out the violin to play a lively ditty for him is my Sagittarius rising. While I absorb most experiences at a very deep emotional level and retain negative experiences like a pregnant woman holds onto water, my background tells me that I should look for the silver lining in every cloud (Sagittarius is full of upbeat cliches). Therefore, I become very uncomfortable around "downers". It's as if they are breaking some type of universal law by being so pessimistic.
Throughout my life, I have been keenly aware of the contradiction between my inner and outer self. I used to wonder why I worry so much on the inside but inexplicably present a "happy face" to others. My habit causes many people to think that I lead a charmed life (hello Jupiter!) and have infinite words of encouragement for them, even while I'm dealing with multiple problems of my own and don't want to be bothered with their problems.
According to Skye Thomas, our Rising Sign can either reinforce or clash with our inner selves (Sun & Moon signs):
You’ve heard of a wolf in sheep’s clothing? Discard the story behind that image and let’s just imagine a wolf that looks like a sheep. In astrology, we would say that his Sun Sign is that of the Wolf and that his Rising Sign is that of the Sheep. No, Wolf and Sheep are not real zodiac signs. I am just using them to illustrate a point. Astrologically speaking, this is not a case of the wolf trying to deceive us. He simply has been born with sheep’s clothing and that is initially how people see him. It takes a while to get to know him and realize that he actually is a wolf deep down inside. In the same way that the inner yolk is very different from the outer shell, they are both part of what makes up the nature of the egg. Such is the dynamic with Sun Signs and Rising Signs...(snip).Sometimes knowing someone’s Rising Sign clashes with their Sun Sign helps us to realize that they do not mean to come across as such a confusing contradiction. Not all wolves in sheep’s clothing are intentionally deceitful. Some sheep just have the spirit of a wolf deep down inside of them. - Source
We tend to attract friends, lovers and situations into our lives based on our rising sign. In other words, not only is our view of the world filtered through the lenses of our rising sign, but our life experiences tend to reinforce this view because they are both pre-destined and we actively seek them out. If we encounter evidence that challenges our version of "reality", we can dismiss it either unconsciously (by not "seeing" it) or consciously (by arguing its validity).
Because of my happy-go-lucky demeanor, I tend to attract - and gravitate towards - other positive thinkers (or people who believe they should be positive thinkers). When I see these people (who the universe has chosen to put in my path and I have chosen to accept into my life) take risks and win, that reinforces my view that a.) life is what you make it and b.) nothing ventured, nothing gained. Is this objectively true? Maybe. Maybe not. But objective truth doesn't matter to us much, does it? As the saying goes: "Perception is reality." Most of the time, my rosy-colored glasses block out those times when my loved ones or I don't win our gambles. Or my glasses help me justify the gamble by finding the lesson learned, so "it's really not that bad...at least we're wiser for it!" I also have Neptune, the planet of illusion, in my 1st house of self-identity so I view the world with glasses that always have an extra layer on them. However, I also have squares to my Ascendant from planets and lights in Virgo - the facts-and-figures sign that acts as a cleaning kit for my all-is-beautiful! Sagittarius glasses.
So it's no wonder that my mother, friend and I were all sitting around diminishing Toure's point of view. We all have our risings in compatible signs (air and fire), so there was a bit of groupthink going on. Does this mean that Toure's point of view is any less valid? No. But us positive-thinkers are less likely to be attracted to, and understanding of, his view of the world. It wasn't until he began to tell the story of how race is considered a taboo subject in his household that I began to shift my attitude towards him. In my early childhood experiences, race was a welcome subject in every class at school, for the car ride home from school, at the dinner table and in my prayers at night. Whenever I heard Toure express his views before, I always viewed him as a whiner because...who doesn't know that there are racial problems in this country? How many times are you going to state the obvious, man? Haven't we discussed race enough for three more lifetimes? Apparently, not in his childhood home. So for him, every time that he discusses race, he is venturing outside of his comfort zone and challenging his family's way of handling this complex subject. And, because race was a taboo subject in his home, he's wearing the glasses that tell him race is not talked about enough in any home. Insert his life (or career) purpose: to see and discuss race at almost every turn.
My Sagittarius glasses tell me that it's necessary to always break new ground, to explore and discover uncharted territories. For me, race is old ground. All of the social critics that I have heard since I was a child have already planted their flags all over the place. As I thought through this, it became clearer to me why his glasses annoy me and I want to knock them off of his face.
When I was younger, I used to have 20/20 vision. I was very curious about what my friends with glasses were seeing, so I would always try them on (despite many warnings from wiser adults!). I still remember how blurry objects became with one pair, how magnified objects became with another. Even though I was curious about their point of view, I didn't like to wear their glasses for very long. Several minutes in their glasses was quite long enough for me to understand where they were coming from. It's very disconcerting to view the world with someone else's prescription glasses. I still remember that feeling of relief when I took their glasses off and the world became "right" again.
Ironically, at 16 years old, I developed astigmatism that caused near-sightedness. The astigmatism runs in my maternal side of the family. People with less optimistic rising signs may look at this as bad karma for not heeding earlier warnings. However, I viewed it as the opportunity to look "smarter" and fend off people who don't find intelligence attractive. A win-win says my Venus in Gemini! I would wear my glasses when I didn't need them (e.g. while reading in the library) and not wear them when I probably should have (e.g. to recognize someone from afar that I wanted to avoid).
The funny thing about my family's type of astigmatism is that our vision transforms from the ages of 16 - 25, then it returns to what it was in our childhood. I'm sure there's a metaphor in there somewhere...
Sagittarius rising with Neptune in the 1st house goggles.
Welcome to my world.
Leo rising mirror.
Most of my friends have Leo risings. Pretty obvious why we're compatible, right? lol
What type of glasses do you wear to see the world?
Related posts:
Blacks v. Whites = Pisces v. Gemini
Purchase or preview "The Black Book".
New to astrology? Find out your ascendant with an interpretation.
